But I shook my head, trying to push this away—and feeling almost disloyal for even thinking it. This wasn’t about my dads. This was about trying to take responsibility for what happened with Bruce. It was time to say my piece and get my life back on track. “Look, I just wanted to say sorry, okay? That’s all.”
“That’sall?” Bruce echoed incredulously.
“Yeah,” I said, picking up my bag and starting to walk away. None of the interactions had gone like I’d hoped, but this one was worse than the rest. “Just—sorry, and…have a good rest of your night!” Even as I said it, I wondered if this interaction with me was going to make it inevitable that he wouldnothave a good rest of his night. But I couldn’t do anything about that right now.
I headed back toward the entrance, nearly running as I pushed past people on my way ?out. With every step, I was sure that I’d done it. This was over—and my regular life was just across that threshold. As I passed the streetlamp, I thought, very carefully and clearly,I just want to go back to how things were. Back to normal again.I glanced hopefully at the light, looking for any sort of a flicker—but didn’t see one.
As I reached the ?exit, I told myself that was fine. The lack of a flicker didn’t mean anything. If Freddie was right, and thiswasabout me, I’d done what I needed to do. Which would mean that this time loop nonsense was over now. I could practicallyfeelit.
And with that thought carrying me forward, I took a deep breath and walked through ?the door.
Who’s ready to have the best night ever?” Sheridan yelled.
I blinked at him.
It hadn’t worked.
I was back.
I had done the one thing I could think of to do to end this, and it hadn’t achieved anything. What did that mean?
What was I supposed todo?
Was this just my life now? Never moving on, never moving forward, just endlessly starting over?
“Me! I do!” Manny said, stopping to take his selfie and causing the same bottleneck as always.
“We need to move,” I murmured as I navigated Bryony out of the way, my thoughts spinning. I walked over to the bench and sank down on it. Attempting to help Freddie hadn’t worked. Un-wishing this hadn’t worked. Trying to make amends hadn’t worked. So was I just going to be stuck here, at Grad Nite?
Forever?
“That was close,” Bryony said, and I mouthed the words along with her, feeling in that a growing sense of dread and unease. Were we going to keep having these same conversations? These same discussions? Foreternity?
“So, what should we do first?” Bryony asked, as she looked around, her voice bright and energetic. “I definitely want to do Radiator Springs Racers—you do, too, right? And Spider-Man…” She looked down at me and her smile faltered. “Cass, are you okay?”
I shook my head—I didn’t even feel capable of pretending anymore. Because why say I was okay and then stumble my way through the night, knowing I’d just have to do it all over again, andnone of it would matter? What was the point?
What was the point ofanyof it?
“I’m not doing so great,” I said, my voice coming out faint. It was also how I felt—like the world had just started spinning much too fast. I suddenly remembered a fact aboutGroundhog Day. According to the screenwriter, he’d intended Phil to be st?uck in his loop fordecades.
The thought of that much time, trapped here, crashed down on me like a load of bricks. I couldn’t do that. Icouldn’t.
But what if I didn’t have any other choice? What were my options?
“I’m going to go get you some water,” Bryony said, like I knew she would, already backing away.
“Thank you,” I said faintly, as tears sprung to my eyes. “You’re such a good friend.”
“Just sit tight, okay?” she called, already hurrying away.
I hunched forward, putting my face in my hands, trying not to notice that my heart was racing? and my breath was coming shallowly—not great signs, but then, probably reasonable responses to learning that you might be stuck in a loop in perpetuity.
“Cass?” I sat up and saw that Amy and Carlos were walking toward me, Amy frowning. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?”
“And where’s Bryony?” Carlos asked, looking around.
“She went to go get Ms. Mulaney,” I said dully, since I knew that was exactly what would be happening now. Bryony would show up with Ms. Mulaney and a bottle of water. The manuscript would scatter. She’d get a call from her agent with bad news.
