Tethys deserved to rot in this room. Dawn’s light was too far to fight off the shadows, so she let them swallow her whole.
Her limbs melted away until she couldn’t feel them at all. Maybe they ceased to exist. Maybe her human formdissipated into the air like dust. Good.
She didn’t want to feel or think or speak anymore. Her head was too loud. Her body, too heavy. She didn’t care whether she lived or died. Whether she slipped into the aether, leaving her carcass to rot into the earth.
There was comfort in nothingness, and she was so fucking tired of fighting. Tired of feeling just shy of good enough. Tired of searching for comfort in the frigid eyes and disgusted faces. Every small success was always in the shadow of someone else. Her voice, always quiet amidst the noise. Her words, always only half heard.
Why bother to speak if no one listened, anyway?
She retreated further and further into the darkness. Into the depths of her broken mind.
But what awaited her there wasn’t deadly and disturbing.
No. Only a little boy with golden gleaming eyes and straight blonde hair that curtained over his brow greeted her there. He smiled and held out a tiny hand. She took it, feeling each delicate little finger in hers, and allowed him to lead them through thickets of swirling shadow. Light pinholed in the distance. He wasn’t pulling her further into the darkness, she realized. He was guiding her out.
Keep fighting, Mama,he whispered, placing a little hand on her cheek.Keep fighting.
She felt then the weight of truth in the crone’s words. It was palpable in the air as she resurfaced into consciousness. The warmth of those small fingers still lingered on her cheek when she opened her eyes.
Tethys peeled herself from the down mattress and dressed quickly. She needed to free herself from the stale tears of the room before she succumbed to them entirely. If not for herself, for that little boy.
Procyon hadn’t locked the door, she realized, as she twisted the golden knob and it clicked open. Her husband was so confident she’d obey, he hadn’t bothered to sealher away. He’d sunk so deep into his own delusion that he hadn’t considered needing to.
But her head pounded furiously and her lungs screamed for new air, so she collected the shattered pieces of herself once more and stepped over the threshold. The feast would carry on well into the early morning, and if she knew her brother, he’d be too drunk to even remember his own name. She needn’t worry about getting caught. Even the lieutenant, who was probably tucked in some stranger’s bed by now, wasn’t a concern.
Keep fighting, Mama.
That tiny voice echoed through her as she descended the palace staircase. Her lilac skirt swished with each step, scattering moonlight along the lower landing. The monstrosity of a gown she’d worn for their processional lay in a wrinkled heap just close enough to the fire that if it ignited, it might look like an accident.
Tethys was utterly alone as she crept to the entrance and slipped into the night. She followed a rocky path down the sloping hillside and slipped into the shadows of the sleeping grove below. Branches, naked of their leaves, rattled as a gentle breeze crept through the canopy, but the chill didn’t reach her skin as she continued along the path. She wasn’t sure where her steps would lead, but it didn’t matter.
A lake, pooled between two lazy hillsides, rippled with shimmering moonlight in the distance. She crossed broken logs covered in lichen, and scattered dry leaves. Her bare feet numbed with each step over the forest floor, but she didn’t care. She’d long since lost feeling in those heavy, hollow limbs.
The cold midnight frost made the air thin as she sucked in a breath. It soothed her sweat-glistened brow, calmed the hatred writhing just beneath her sunken eyes. Leaves rustled above her as if beckoning her forward. The ground beneath her shifted into a sandy shoreline. Thesound of gentle waves lapping against rock was a comforting solo amidst the starry melody around her.
Tethys unclasped her dress and let it fall to the ground, collecting sand in its wrinkled material. Her skin, white and iridescent beneath the lonesome autumn sky, tensed with gooseflesh. She waded into the lake, keeping her eyes fixed on the glowing white moon overhead. She begged it to cleanse her of all the disgust, all the hatred, all the rage she’d accumulated like trinkets over the last few hundred years.
She felt the sandy lake bottom before registering that her knees had buckled. Shock rushed through her veins as her hips, her breasts, her shoulders melted into the lake’s darkness. Its depths were so endless, so black, even starlight didn’t dare travel through its water column. She welcomed the cold, the half frozen water, as it lapped along her body, sending ripples of disturbance rolling along the surface.
Keep fighting, Mama.
Amidst all of her pain, all of the never ending loneliness, that voice rang loud. She couldn’t shake those little golden eyes or that hand resting delicately across her cheek. He’d come to her when she needed it most. When she’d shattered into dust, unable to piece herself back together once more.
She let her head fall back and her body float to the surface. There, beneath the unending stretch of night, she stilled. Her mind quieted until only those gleaming golden eyes remained. Only that little voice echoed through her. Long, golden hair wisped around her arms as she lay suspended in space and time.
She would return to the fight. Not for Venia. Not for her family. She would pick up the pieces, like she did a thousand times before,for him. How would she love another when all she felt for herself was heavy, unrelentinghate? There was no room for both anymore.
So, beneath the ever-stretching midnight canvas painted with glittering stars, she mended what the world stripped from her, whatshehad stripped from herself.
She wasn’t sure how long she’d stayed there. Floating in the aether, slipping through time. But when the cold grew uncomfortable, Tethys waded to the shallows. Somewhere on the shoreline, a stick cracked. The sound echoed across the lake’s stilling surface. Tethys froze.
Standing along the grey sand beach stood Araes, a half emptied whiskey bottle in one hand. His eyes, dark and haunted, glazed over her naked body. The goddess didn’t dare move. Didn’t dare breathe. She simply watched him watching her. Beneath those amber eyes, she didn’t flinch. Didn’t recoil. Her hands remained fixed at her hips as moonlight illuminated every curve and crease of her human form.
Water droplets beaded along the curve of her breasts and her nipples pebbled in the chilled midnight air. Araes’s gaze washed over her, melting the cold from her skin with its residual trail of heat.
His lips parted as she returned to the shoreline.
“You’re supposed to be on leave, Lieutenant,” she said, standing before him. Dripping in starlight, she let the tendrils of soaked golden hair cling to her body. His jaw clenched as he held out her discarded dress.
