“All your life, you’ve been alone. From the time you were born, you were on your own. No, worse than that, your mom didn’t have a child, she had a pawn in a chess game she played in life. You had to quickly learn how tosurvive with the person who was supposed to love and protect you having no issues using you for her gain with no regard for your well-being. She made you steal, pretend to be homeless and beg outside stores for money, and lie about having illnesses to get prescription drugs all before you were in kindergarten.”
Jenna put a stop to all of that once she went to school and realized other kids didn’t have to do that and they weren’t real games.
“Then, when you hit puberty, things got scary with men. I’m glad that I was there to protect you, and I am glad that you did love me, but you weren’t in love with me. I knew it, and I was okay with it because I thought I could love you enough for both of us and we were just dating.
“I mean, Jenna, you were, youare,a force of nature. People underestimate you because you’re so gorgeous, but you are smart and funny, and anything you set your mind to, you do. Youneverran in high school, went to college on a full scholarship, and decided you wanted to qualify for the Olympics, and two years later you were an alternate. You’re fucking amazing. Then you got pregnant and decided, okay, I’m gonna be the best mom I can, we got married, and then I fucked up everything. You told me not to go undercover, but I thought I could handle it. I was wrong.
“Butus, that wasn’t your fault. It wasme. My shit. I think because I knew, deep down, that I wasn’t the man you were madly in love with, when shit got bad with me, in my head, I couldn’t open up to you. You kept asking, begging me to tell you what was going on, and bargaining with me and I shut you out. I abandoned you. I was your best friend, your person, your safe place, your onlyfamily,and I just checked out. I’m so sorry.”
Jenna sat there silently crying. Tears streamed down her face. Having anyone take the time to reflect on her life meant something to her, but having Asher do it really meant something to her.
“So we need to get a few things straight, you didnotcheat on me, I wasnota husband to you. The reason you’re scared now is because I think Deacon is the first person you are in love with, and it scares you because that means he can hurt you. Not like I hurt you, which I am sorry about. He canreallyhurt you. But here’s the thing, it’s worth the risk. And you know I wouldn’t tell you this unless I meant it, I don’t think he will. I wouldn’t be sitting here if I thought, for a second, he was going to hurt you. I know he won’t.”
“You don’tknow.” Jenna sniffed and shook her head. “How could you know? You don’t have any idea what’s going on in his head.”
Asher got a weird look on his face. A face she knew because she’d seen it when he TP’d the principal’s office and got suspended which meant they couldn’t go to prom.
“What?” Jenna demanded. He might know her well, but that was a two-way street.
Asher took a deep breath and ran his fingers through his hair. “I’m only telling you this because it’syou. I wouldnevertell anyone else on this earth this, except Ava obviously knows.”
His tone and the seriousness in his gaze were chilling, and now she was nervous.
“What?!” she demanded again. What could he possibly have to say?
He took a deep breath. “The other week, I was going to surprise Ava for lunch. I didn’t know she had a client. I went in the back way, and she was in session. I started to leave, and the door automatically locked. I thought aboutinterrupting, but I didn’t know if that would be worse or not, so I just tried not to listen.”
“Oh shit...”
Deacon mentioned he was going to therapy.
“Yeah, he talked about you.”
“He said myname? Ava knows?—”
“No! No, he didn’t, but as soon as he said the issues he was having, I knew it was you,” Asher relayed as if it had been glaringly obvious.
“Issues? Whatissues?” How could he have issues with her? They weren’t together.
“I don’t know if I should?—”
“Are you fucking serious? You listened to a private therapy session where someone was discussing your ex-wife, just told her, and now you think you’renotgoing to tell her what was said?” She stood and offered Asher her hand. “Hi, I’m Jenna. I don’t know if we’ve met before.”
Asher smiled. He knew that she had to know this information. It had been such a point of contention in their entire relationship that she had to knoweverydetail abouteverythinghe wasn’t forthcoming withanyinformation aboutanything.
There was a reason her salons were always so successful and talent was only part of it. She cultivated a very safe information-sharing-rich environment. Gossip Central in a nonjudgmental, no-hate, no-shame just innocent, fun rumor trading.
But that was not what this was, this was factual, first-hand knowledge.
“For the record, this is very unethical.”
Jenna could see her ex-husband was struggling with this, and normally she’d let him off the hook, but she was drowning here, and she needed to know what he’d said in therapy about her.
“Yeah, no shit, Sherlock,and…?”
“How I knew it was you was because he said that at first, he thought you resented him for his money, but you hated that he had it. Then when Ava suggested that was a strong word, he said she was right and changed the word to disgust.”
Her face scrunched. “Disgust?”
