The first halfof January speeds by as Jules and I race to pack up the apartment, and I go through my pending tasks to complete before the move. Principal Torres has faxed Jules’s transcripts to Mapletown High. Her classes for the third quarter have been selected, and she’s already received her schedule. The owners of the three-bedroom Tudor appreciated my all-cash offer, which sped up the process considerably. I’ve already had the entire interior painted and wall-papered exactly how I want it. Nic was there to oversee that, as well as the Wi-Fi installation and the inspection before the sale. I have no idea how I could’ve done this without him.
Moving day is tomorrow, and Jules starts school next week. Nic and Riz have been given their day passes from the mayor with accompanying spells to come down and help us move. Packing is almost done, thank Christ, because it’s exhausting.
My family took the news better than I expected. I was bracing for my dad to guilt me into staying so he could keep his granddaughter close. That didn’t happen. He immediately saw how excited Jules was and gave his blessing.
I knew Isla would be supportive, but when she pulled me aside and said, “You’ve been carrying the load with Mom and Dad your whole life. I’ll take it from here,” I couldn’t hold back the tears.
“They’ve got each other, and Dad’s got Ruth. They’ll be fine,” she assured me in a tight sisterly hug. “Besides, I hear there’s a rugged mountain of a man waiting for you up there, and I’m here for it.”
Mom was the most reluctant with her well wishes, as expected. “What about your career?” she asked. “You worked so hard for it. Why would you throw it away?”
It felt like a lot of projecting, to be honest. When she from graduated law school and started working at a nearby firm, she wasn’t home much. Dad had to take time off work to be home with Isla, and drive me to and from school, while Mom worked eighty-hour weeks. She enjoyed the challenge, at first, but within a decade, she was burned out and miserable. After that, she bounced around at various small firms until the moment she had enough money saved to retire.
When I told her, “Because I’m starting to hate my job, and I think I can find something else I find more fulfilling,” I knew she’d understand. Ultimately, she let out a heavy sigh and wished me luck. It wasn’t the most supportive response, but people show up how they know how, not how you want them to.
I sent Billy a courtesy text that his daughter was moving to a different state, and he replied, “Cool. Good luck.” Then another text five minutes after that saying he won’t be able to take Jules in a couple of weeks like we had planned because he’s going somewhere with his new girlfriend for the weekend, and that he’s “so sorry.”
As I plop down on the couch now, I survey the empty walls and dusty corners of our apartment. We’ve been here since Jules was four years old, and we’ve made a lot of memories here. ButI’m not sure how much I’ll miss it. It’s always felt temporary, like I was just waiting to have enough money saved for a down payment. Luckily for me, Mapletown is a thousand times more affordable than Boston, despite the higher taxes everyone pays. What’s amazing is that they aren’t much higher than what I’ve been paying here, yet in Mapletown, we get free healthcare.
All I know is that I got the sweet end of the deal.
What’s more is that not working isreallyworking for me. I still wake up early and struggle to sit idle for more than twenty minutes, but how I choose to fill my time is entirely up to me. I have five upcoming catering gigs in Mapletown––for which I’ll be paid and have created my own catering menus––and Nic has asked me to join the bar staff part-time to consult on the menu and help Anton in the kitchen. They’ve gotten busier with the few dishes they’ve added, and the locals want more.
I’m not sure that either is going to turn into full-time, long-term careers, but for the first time in my life, I don’t care. This is good enough for now, and the “for now” part of life is what I plan to focus on. Because “for now” is all I have.
Things start to feel less chaotic in week three of being an official Mapletown resident. I’m now receiving mail at the new house, every box has been unpacked and the cardboard recycled, and I have my beauty products lined up perfectly in my medicine cabinet. For me, that’s the sign that I’m truly home.
Jules has already signed up for science club and she and Rocío will be performing a choreographed dance to a Chappell Roan song at the town talent show in one month. She loves her classes, her teachers, and being able to safely walk home from school. She’s never been outgoing, really. I assumed she was an introvert. She’s really coming out of her shell here, though, and it confirms I made the right decision.
The only blemish on the face of this spectacular life change is a demon with perfect tits and the personality of wet mulch.
Gemma spends a lot of time at the bar. She refuses to acknowledge my presence when I’m there, and from what I’ve seen, only speaks to Nic in hushed conversations. I’ve asked him about it, and he brushes it off like their conversations aren’t even worth repeating. I’m not jealous. For the first time ever, I’m actually not in the slightest, despite the obvious way she chooses to pursue him––tits out, nails sharp, and a mouthful of double entendres.
I think I’m so confident in my relationship with Nic because he doesn’t play games. He isn’t afraid of PDA, and definitely not in front of her. He also spends most nights––into the early mornings––with his suckler latched onto my clit, making me squirt harder than a fucking firehose. Hard to doubt his loyalty when he’s that committed to making me come.
It’s their friendship that I have a problem with. On more than one occasion, she’s asked him to meet her to help with household tasks, or to console her after another guy has ghosted her. He keeps telling me they’ve been friends for years, and that’s all they’ll ever be, but I’m not comfortable with him being her first call when something goes wrong.
I also don’t like how he’s sometimes withdrawn and distant after seeing her. He’s made comments lately about how dumb he is, and despite the way he laughs it off, I can tell there’s a deeper layer to those thoughts. Gemma popped back into his life not long after we started hanging out, so maybe he’s always been like this, but it seems more frequent now. I have a hunch that Gemma’s to blame.
If they’re going to be friends, fine, have at it. But that friendship better lift both of them up, because I’m not about to let anyone gaslight my boyfriend into thinking he’s stupid.
This is how it starts, though––the me of it all that ruins every relationship I develop. I get attached, then I get protective. Next, I overstep in the name of that protection, and it pushespeople away. They see that I’m too much, and decide they need significantly less.
Shit, it almost drove Natalie and I into a friend breakup.
I’ve tried to change this part of myself over the years, but with no success.
Will it be the thing that ultimately drives us apart? Am I too much just as I am?
Chapter 16
DOMINIC
“Motherfucker, goddamnit.” I throw the dirty rag I used to wipe my hands against the digital clock in my truck. Eleven forty, it reads. Almost midnight. I pull my phone out of my coat pocket, furious as to why my alarm didn’t go off three hours ago like it should’ve.
Dead. Perfect.
I forgot to charge it last night when I got home from the bar, and didn’t think of it when I went into work this morning. When I stopped by Gemma’s after work to help her figure out what’s wrong with her dryer, I forgot to ask if I could borrow her charger.
