He smiles.“I’m in love with you, Olive.”
“That doesn’t answer my question.”
“Don’t you think?”
“No.”
“Shame.”He grins and presses a kiss on my nose, then pulls me on.
Not so long ago, I’d never have believed it.That Colin Fantino would be walking cheerily through the school with me and my pals.But I wouldn’t have believed a lot of things.That I could have forgiven him for keeping such a major secret from me, even though I now get why he did that.I’m relieved that the trial in New York really did clear his name.You could see what a weight it was off Colin’s shoulders not to be to blame for the accident.There’s still nobody to blame for the fire at Dunbridge either, but I’ve learned I don’t need that to heal.I only need myself.And Colin.
He’s with me as we reach the sea in the last of the evening light, and he’s with me when it starts to rain.Tori shrieks as she runs over the sand and Sinclair puts his arms around her from behind.He picks her up and whirls around, spinning 180 with her, which is kind of cute.Colin would never do such a thing.Or so I thought when he started here as such an incredible arsehole.He’s not that guy anymore.He’s broken down his protective walls.Now he’s soft and vulnerable but still the strongest person I’ve ever met.I can’t stop watching him, and I don’t have to.
I’m still watching him when we gather wood for a little fire in the sand, once the shower has stopped.
“Promise me you’ll be back,” I say as the wood crackles and we sit around the fire.I can do this.I can feel the warmth of the flames and I don’t want to run away.I’m here.This is OK.“At least to visit.”
“Of course we’ll be back,” Tori says.Sinclair nods in agreement.
“Dunbridge Academy will always be home,” Henry whispers.I can hear in his voice how hard he’ll find it to leave this placesoon.But I know he’ll be back.I’m more certain of him than anyone else.And he’ll be the best bloody teacher this place ever had.
“I never imagined that I’d experience anything like this with you all,” Emma says thoughtfully.I feel for Colin’s hand as Henry pulls Emma close.
And I’d never have thought we’d be sitting in this combination.Just now, it feels like the only possible outcome of everything this school year has thrown at us.Nothing was the way I expected, and I guess that’s life, but it doesn’t scare me anymore.
Sinclair throws more wood on the fire; I watch the sparks dancing up into the dark sky and feel Colin’s eyes on me.He nods inquiringly at me as I look at him.And I smile, then rest my head on his shoulder.
It’s one of the first mild nights of the year, and I’m looking forward to these last days of term with him and my friends.But I’m looking forward to the autumn too.To next year.To the upper sixth, to everything that comes after that.
There’s something inside me again; I can feel it.A spark that went out all those months ago.I’m me again, even though the old Olive doesn’t exist anymore.I like the new version, maybe even more, because she can be both strong and weak at the same time.That isn’t a contradiction in terms anymore: it’s something urgent and necessary.Colin taught me that with every day he challenged me and drove me mad, before he was there to hold me together when I was convinced everything was breaking apart.With every day, all the time.And every time I look at him, I know it.I’ve come home.
