I swallow.And I think of Olive.“I can’t live with the guilt.I lied to everyone who matters to me.I couldn’t go on like that.And I’m still scared, but I have to tell the truth.”
The detective makes more notes.“That’s a wise decision,” he says, after a while.“Thank you for your testimony, Colin.”
I wait for the door to open and his fellow cops to come in, cuff me, and take me away.
“That will be a great deal of help in our investigations.The names you gave me are particularly interesting.”
I immediately start to feel guilty.Should I have kept quiet about who exactly I saw in the bathroom?However much I hate Trent and his buddies, I don’t want to get them into trouble.
“You did the right thing, Colin,” Detective King says, like he’s reading my mind.“It’s always right to tell the truth; don’t forget that.”
I gulp, then nod.
“Is there anything you want to add to your statement?”
I think for a minute, then shake my head.“No, that’s all, sir.”
“Good, well, you’re free to go.We’ll get back to you if we have any more questions.”
“What?”I hesitate.“I don’t have to...stay here?”
The detective eyes me.“No, no.You’ve given us your contact info, and you’ve made a statement.That’s all we need right now.”
Is this a trap?I’m not sure of anything.“Do I have to stay in the US?I mean...I’m supposed to fly back to Scotland at the end of the week.”
“We’ll be able to contact you there.You can travel as planned.”
“Good, then...”I glance at the door.“Thank you?”
“Thankyou, Colin.Have a nice day.”
“You too,” I reply as I stand up.All through the long corridors back to the waiting area, I’m expecting the other shoe to drop.Cops, armed to the teeth, to pop around the corner, wrestle me to the ground, and lead me off in cuffs.But nobody pays me any attention.
I don’t know if I’m innocent.I only know that the detective didn’t consider it necessary to arrest me.And that’s...a good sign?I can’t think straight.
Olive jumps up from her chair in the waiting room as soon as she sees me.The concern in her face makes me go weak in the knees.I haven’t eaten.I really need to do something about that, but I can’t.
“So?”she asks, walking toward me.
“I told them.They’re still investigating, and...they’ll be in touch.”
“OK.And how do we feel?”
We.Don’t ask me why, but that tiny word makes me want to cry.She doesn’t have to be, but she’s with me.Even though I lied to her and hurt her.She’s still with me.
“I don’t know,” I manage.“Overwhelmed.Empty.”
“But a wee bit relieved?”
That’s it.I feel it the second she says the words.The pressure in my chest has eased and so has the buzzing in my head.“Yeah, that too.”
Olive’s eyes rest on me.She’s seen all of me.Every single version.Furious, unfair, broken, desperate.And now she’s seeing one that I could almost call brave, and that’s not something I ever expected to think about myself.
“And you’re free to go?”
“So Detective King said.”
“OK.”She takes my hand.“Then let’s go.”
