I like her, though, in more than just a physical way. If running into Runa again has proved anything to me, it’s that being with Aurelia is different. I like talking to her, I like seeingher every day, and the thought of her getting hurt makes me feel fucking crazy. I’m afraid that I might love her if I keep having to spend time with her, which is a terrible situation to be in.
I can’t leave her here alone because she will get hurt and possibly die. But, I can’t stay either, because I might fall in love with her, which would result in her getting hurt and possibly dying. And, worst of all, I can’t explain any of it to her, because there isn’t a single doubt in my mind that if I tell Aurelia everything she’ll think she can use magic to fix the situation…and then she’ll get hurt and possibly die.
I can’t see any path out of this fucking nightmare except to go straight through and take each problem as it comes. The problem in front of me is that we’re not acting enough like mates.
I suck in a long breath, and when I open my eyes again, I’m hyper-focused. “We need to try harder.”
“Can you be more specific?”
“Don’t reject any food I give you.”
She puts her hands on her hips. “Why?”
“Just don’t. Let me get your meals for you, and don’t accept food from anyone else, even the wolves who are cooking the meals. If they put a plate down on the table first, you can pick it up, but don’t let anyone hand you anything.”
She wrinkles her brow. “That doesn’t seem practical.”
“It doesn’t matter.”
She cocks her hip and rolls her eyes. “Fine. Anything else?”
I run a hand through my hair. I need to tell her that she has to let me touch her, but I don’t know how to say it. It seems selfish, like because there’s some part of me that wants her to, it’s wrong to frame it as something she has to do for her own safety. It’s the same reason I never sought her out for the last almost two years—if it was her choice, then I could justify it to myself.
To my relief, Aurelia is clearly thinking along the same lines. “I can be more…friendly,” she says unprompted.
“Yeah?”
She bites her lip. “Yes. Assuming you’re not going to push me away.”
My brow furrows. The idea that I would ever push her away is so absurd, when I’ve spent every night for almost two years hoping she’d show up at my door, and when I’m constantly fighting myself because I’m caught between wanting to be with her all the time and knowing I can’t if I’m going to keep her safe.
“The biggest problem is that I can’t understand what anyone is saying,” Aurelia continues, unaware of the battle I’m waging against myself.
“You wouldn’t be able to, anyway. My mother was Fae, and she could hear my father, but she couldn’t hear me unless I spoke to her out loud.”
She frowns. “You were her son, though.”
“It’s not about how much you care about someone. It’s just a mate thing.”
“Well, that doesn’t fix the fact that I can’t actually hear you.”
My chest squeezes painfully. “Just pretend. If I look at you, don’t look away. Pretend we’re talking.”
“But how am I supposed to know what you’re trying to say?”
“Guess.”
“Oh, sure, that’s helpful.” She rolls her eyes. “What, do you want to just stare at each other all through dinner?”
I cock my head. “That could work.”
She scoffs, her eyes widening in something like panic. “I don’t actually think I can do that without laughing.”
I don’t know if I can do it either. I’m not afraid of laughing, but staring at Aurelia for several hours seems like tempting fate.
I squeeze my eyes shut.One problem at a time.
I’ve never mastered anything without drilling it a thousand times. This is just like learning a new combat technique—repetition until it becomes second nature. I turn to the small, three-legged table, pull out the nearest chair, and sit down. “Come here.”
