“Yes, Josslyn. Of course. How could I forget?” he says, a smile in his voice. “What can I do for you?”
“You told me to call when I was interested in joining the group my friend was always raving about,” I say.
It’s a damn lie, but he doesn’t need to know that.
“Of course,” he says. “Unfortunately, Onyx is hosting a joint bachelor/bachelorette party tonight, so Leo reserved some rooms at the speakeasy at Pearl. Do you know where that is?”
“Yeah.”
“I’ll let Leo know you’re going,” he says. “A couple of them haven’t been in a while, but most of the people your friend used to have fun with will be there.”
“Okay. I’ll be there.” I can barely talk with my heart beating so wildly.
“Call Leo when you get there. I’ll send you his information now,” he says. “I hope you enjoy yourself. I’ll be back next week and would love to see you.”
There’s no missing what he’s hinting at, but as uncomfortable as it makes me, I make a pitiful attempt to laugh.
“Sure. Thanks, John.”
I hang up before he gets another word in and rub my arms to rid myself of the goosebumps. I stare at my phone for a while, waiting for his text, when I remember I’m on Do Not Disturb. I add John to my list. I don’t switch it out of that mode, out of fear that Finn responded to my text with something hurtful. I push the thought aside. If Livie were in my situation, I would have already told her to walk away and forget about him. I decide I’m going to take my own advice for once.
I knew he would be unforgettable from the start. I knew hooking up with him would lead to heartache. I knew it and I did it anyway, and when he kept coming back, I tried hard not to hope, but I lost that battle as well.
I take a couple of deep breaths and spend a few moments centering myself before I leave. When I’m ready, I roll my shoulders back, grab my purse, and head out.
I text Leo after handing my keys to the valet, then follow his instructions on how to get into the speakeasy. When I get to the door, he’s already there waiting for me with a smile on his face. He’sreallyhot for an old guy. He totally leans into the silver fox thing, and even though he’s been wearing a suit both times I’ve seen him, I can tell he has a good body underneath it. He has a sparkle in his eyes and keeps three buttons of his dress shirt open to show a sliver of light brown skin.
“You look ravishing,” he says, lifting my hand to his mouth and kissing the back of it, as he keeps his brown eyes on mine.
“It’s nice to see you again,” I respond, as I take my hand back and grip the chains of my purse with it. “Thanks for adding me to the list.”
“Of course.” He turns around and leads me inside.
Unsurprisingly, it’s a dark hallway. I can’t tell if the walls are dark red or black, but they’re lined with gold sconces that light the way until we reach the end. As we make a right, I start to hear music, and Leo informs me about the group and the fee I’ll have to pay if I decide to join.
“We were fond of Mallory, so your visit is our gift to you,” he says when we reach a lobby, similar to the one in Onyx, with BDSM-style photos on the walls. We stop in front of the hostess. “Heather, this is my friend. She’ll need to sign in and fill out a form.” He turns to me. “This may take a little while, so I’ll leave you to it and come get you shortly. We can have a drink, I'll explain things to you, and you can ask questions.”
“That would be great.” I smile. “I’ll just have someone tell me where to go and meet you there. I don’t want you to keep walking back and forth because of me. You’ve done so much already.”
“I’ll do much more if you want me to.” The way his eyes darken is almost imperceptible with the bright smile he gives me. “Heather will tell you where to find me.”
Somehow, despite how little that interests me and how uncomfortable it makes me, I manage to laugh as he walks away. This is a man who KNOWS MY STEPFATHER. Thankfully, he had the sense not to ask about him tonight. Otherwise, I would have either run away or thrown up. Or both. I turn to Heather with a smile, take the tablet she hands me, and have a seat on one of the black leather couches that’s sort of hidden from both doorways. My heart is in my throat the entire time I fill out the questionnaire.
I filled one out for Mallory’s birthday, that time, and Onyx still has it on record, but I barely paid attention to the questions then. I kind of skimmed, checked everything, and signed my name. Tituswould have been so upset, but Tate read and summarized the contract for me, and I really didn’t care enough to pay attention.
This time, I’m reading each word and analyzing the phrasing, because this isn’t only Pearl’s waiver and NDA, this is also for the sex group “Voluptatem et Dolorem,” which I learn, after doing a quick search on my phone, means “Pleasure and Pain.” I take a deep breath and exhale.Fun times.
I look up when I feel Heather’s eyes on mine and smile. “I’m almost done, I think.”
“No rush. Take your time.” She smiles back. “I didn’t take you for the voyeur type.”
I bristle, gripping the stylus in my hand. My gaze drops to the questionnaire again, landing on “Do you like to get spanked?” Holy shit. How could I be so careless? I walked right by the line waiting to go into the nightclub portion of Pearl. What if someone saw me? What if they took pictures and posted them? My heart sinks.I’m an adult.I’m an adult, and I’m single. If I want to go to a sex club, I can go to a damn sex club.
“I don’t mean that in a bad way,” Heather says after I don’t say anything. I bring my gaze back to her now worried blue eyes. “I just … I’ve been following you for a while, and … oh my god, please forget I said anything.” She covers her face.
My shoulders slump. “It’s okay. I know you didn’t mean it in a bad way. It’s just, I mean, I don’t want people finding out that I’m here.”
“Oh god, I would never.” She lowers her hands with wide eyes. “I would never say anything. And we’ve all signed NDAs, and you will as well.” She nods at my tablet. “This is a safe space.”
