The details don’t matter. He was there that night, he helped take an unconscious Josslyn home, and he helped my sister and held Josslyn hostage. As long as I’m breathing, there’s no way John will walk around as a free man.
“The only way Joss would ever see this is if Mallory survives, since they’d need it in court,” Damian says to me.
I swallow hard and nod. Mallory’s in critical condition. The bullet damaged some organs, so they’re not sure she’ll survive. After seeing this footage, I don’t know if I have it in me to let her.
65
JOSSLYN
1 month later
Amyriad of emotions flitter through me when I get the call about Mallory’s death, before I’m overcome with sadness. Painful sobs press down in my chest, and I make myself go to the bathroom and shut the door. I turn on the shower but before I can even start taking off my clothes, I double over and start to cry. My only hope is that the water drowns out the sounds. The last thing I want is for Finn to hear about this and worry more than he already has been.
I don’t even understand why I feel this way. It’s not like Mallory had a chance at a regular life after everything she did. It’s not like I wanted her to have one. But still. Death is so final. How will Finn feel about all of this? I try not to think about his mother, but it’s impossible. Finn says he hates her and that he’ll never forgive her for what she did, and I get it. I’m not her biggest fan right now, but a part of me understands why she did it.
It wasn’t like she thought Mallory was roaming around freely. She’d sent her to a mental institution overseas in hopes that she would get better. I’m sure she didn’t think Mal would have herphone on her at all times or that she’d break free and end up back in the place she swore she wanted to get away from. Nevertheless, her actions cost her greatly.
Her son wants nothing to do with her and her husband is planning to file for divorce—something a Barlow never does. It’s not like she had a great relationship with Finn or her husband to begin with, but it’s got to hurt, and now her daughter is gone for good. That thought sticks with me as I shower and dress again.Is she gone for good?
I know John is. I got the call from Scarlet a couple of weeks ago saying they found his body a few days after he’d been hit with a handful of lawsuits. Scarlet didn’t go into details and I didn’t ask for any, but it sounded like he’d committed suicide. Normally, that’s a triggering subject for me, but I can’t bring myself to think about him much, let alone care. It’s not like I knew him, but he’d also been helpful with the whole Mallory thing.
It’s a lot to wrap my head around. Dealing with people is exhausting enough without questioning their motives, and this situation has proven to be damn near draining. Loud pounding on my bedroom door makes me nearly jump out of my skin as I step out of the bathroom.
“Miss Josslyn,” Tamara says from the other side. “Mr. Barlow is on the phone. He says you haven’t answered his calls and he’s worried.”
I let out a breath as I unlock and open my bedroom door. Even with the three bodyguards Finn hired for me—the only reason he even agreed to go back to work—I can’t help feeling paranoid. The only time I leave the house is to go to basketball practice, and that’s only because our coach refuses to bring the practice to me.
The only personal post I’ve made on social media was one written on a black background letting people know I’m okay and thanking them for their well wishes. Everything else has been sponsored posts from brands that I’d previously set up. Maybe someday I’ll get back to sharing my life with the world, but I’m still too shaken up to do it.
Mallory betrayed my trust in so many ways, but what bothers me the most is the doubts she planted in my head. I can’t look at anyone—even my own teammates—without second-guessing their motives, and it’s not fair. Tamara gives me a comforting smile as she hands me her phone, and I thank her as I take it and set it to my ear.
“Hello?”
He exhales heavily. “I’ve been calling you.”
I turn away from Tamara. “I was in the shower. Can I call you from my phone or are you at the arena already?”
“Call me.” He hangs up and I hand Tamara back her phone.
“I’ll leave the door unlocked,” I tell her, walking back into my room and shutting the door.
“Did you hear?” Finn asks quietly when I call him back.
“Yeah.” I swallow hard and sit on his side of the unmade bed. “How are you feeling?”
“Not good,” he confesses in a whisper.
“I’m sorry,” I say and bite my lip hard to keep from crying again. It doesn’t work. “I’m so sorry.”
“No. You don’t…” He stops talking for a moment. “Don’t apologize, Josie.”
I swallow hard again and nod as I bat away tears.
“I’m glad she’s gone,” he says and pauses again as if to gauge my reaction. When I don’t say anything, he adds, “I know I should feel shitty about that.”
“It’s okay to feel angry, sad and relieved, you know?”
“Is it?” he asks, chuckling darkly. “I didn’t know that was an option.”
