But I’m not fine. Everything hurts.Everything.But all my pain is internal.
I hear stomping and drop my hands from my face to see Damian walking over. Behind him are Josslyn’s mom and Titus. Behind them, Ella and Lucas. I don’t stand up. I don’t think I could even if I wanted to. Damian’s eyes are bloodshot and I can tell he’s been crying. So are Jackie’s and Titus’. So are Ella’s. Lucas looks fierce, the way he used to on the football field all those years ago. My stomach feels so fucking hollow.
“She’s in surgery,” I say, my voice hoarse.
“Oh, God.” Jackie covers her mouth and sobs, as Titus wraps an arm around her.
“How long has she been in there?” Titus asks.
I shake my head. I’m about to answer that she’s been in there too long, but I stop myself. “Thirty minutes.”
“Fuck.” Damian exhales.
“Are you okay?!” Jackie asks, wiping her eyes.
I nod, wishing I was the one in surgery and not Josslyn. Ella runs up to me, tears running down her face, as she wraps her arms around me, over my arms, locking me into a hug. Lucas follows and sets a hand on my shoulder, squeezing.
“Is…” I swallow hard. “Mallory.”
“Surgery,” Ella says quietly as she backs away and wipes her tears.
My body locks. “In this hospital?”
“Yes,” she says. My nerves must show, because she adds, “There are officers all over the floor she’s on though. They won’t let her out of their sight.”
She doesn’t deserve to breathe the same air as Josslyn. I hate myself for thinking it about my own fucking sister, but it’s undeniable. She doesn’t deserve a second chance after what she did. She tried to take her from me. I take a shaky breath. She better be okay.
“Tate’s also here,” Ella adds.
“What happened in there?” Damian asks quietly as he walks over. He wipes his eyes, his Adam’s apple moving as he swallows. “I thought … fuck, I didn’t know what to think. I tried to go back, but they put me in handcuffs.”
“Oh my god, where is she? Is she okay? Is she in surgery?” Olivia says frantically as she runs over, wiping tears. “I tried to get here faster but everything was blocked off.”
I sit down again, setting my elbows on my knees and dropping my head for a moment to take a breath. It does nothing to lessen the pain inside my chest.
“Finn?” Ella whispers, setting her hand on my head and scratching lightly.
The way Josslyn does. My heart hurts so fucking much. I sit up so she’s forced to drop her hand. I love Ella like a sister, but I don’t want her comfort. I want Josslyn. I want her fingers in my hair. I want her to be here rolling her eyes at me and pretending she doesn’t like my possessiveness. I want her to berate me using my full name when I do something that shocks her. I want her to whisper, “Hey, Finn,” the way she does when she’s about to say something sweet. I swallow hard, and this time, I can’t do anything to stop the tears that have been building. I want to hold her hand and watch the stupid television shows she likes. I feel arms around me, and my shoulders start to shake. I can’t lose her. I can’t.
The door opens, and we all straighten. I wipe my face and take a breath.
“Who is Josslyn Santos’ next of kin?” he asks, looking at all of us.
“She’s my daughter,” Jackie says, rushing forward.
“Is she okay?” I ask and step forward as well.
“She’s stable.”
My heart squeezes and my eyes fill again, but this time, with nothing but gratitude.
“She was lucky. And I meanlucky,” he says. “The bullet went straight through her arm and missed a major artery and organs. She definitely had someone watching over her,” he says, shaking his head. “I haven’t seen a case like this in years.”
“Can we see her?” Jackie asks desperately.
“She’s sleeping. She won’t be awake for a long time. When she got here, she was already out of it, and with the anesthesia we gave her…” He shakes his head. “She’ll be sleeping for a while.”
“Can we see her?” I ask, probably a little too forcefully.
