Kate nodded again.
Her aunt pursed her lips. “Well, I’m sorry for him. He had the opportunity to be matched with a wonderful woman like you, and he chose against even meeting with you. Did he seem to know who you were?”
“He knew exactly who I was,” Kate said.
“How odd.” Her aunt sipped her tea.
“Not really. In fact, I’ve noticed him watching me at the Lyon’s Den on more than one occasion. We even spoke the night of the auction.”
“The night of the auctionandthis morning?”
Kate nodded.
“What did he say?”
“He suggested that he’d made a mistake telling Mrs. Dove-Lyon he wasn’t interested and advised me not to marry Middlemarch.”
Her aunt, who was about to take another sip of tea, froze. “He what?” she said.
“He voiced his objection to Middlemarch as a good match for me and said perhaps we should spend some time together getting acquainted.”
Her aunt put her teacup down slowly. “And what did you say to that?”
“I said no, of course.”
“You said no to an earl?” Her aunt reiterated as though she could not believe her own ears.
Kate dropped a lump of sugar into her teacup and sighed. “He’s too late. I’m already bound to Middlemarch.”
“I simply don’t understand,” her aunt pressed. “You’ve expressed your dislike for Middlemarch, and this is your chance to escape marriage to him—and to a man far more powerful. He knows about your babe, and he accepts you as you are!”
“He doesn’t want to marry me,” Kate said. “He feels sorry for me.”
“You don’t have the luxury of a second love match, Kate.”
“I know that. But I’d rather enter into a loveless union than marry a man who feels sorry for me. I cannot stand to be the object of someone’s pity.” She shuddered at the notion that the earl’s beautiful gray eyes would never burn with passion for her as Theo’s had done. She’d rather endure a man she despisedthan endure a lifetime with a man who could never reciprocate her feelings. The realization shocked Kate, and she gasped out loud. How could she betray Theo’s memory by desiring another man a mere two months after his death? What kind of a dishonorable woman was she? If she was that fickle, then she deserved her fate with Middlemarch. She’d had her chance at love, which was more than some ever got.
A flock of starlings swooped into the garden and caught Kate’s eye. She got up and walked to the window just in time to see them swoop out again and watched as they soared into the sky. She sighed. Freedom really was for the birds.They can fly free, but I must repress my fickle desires and learn to keep my mouth closed and my heart buried. It is the right thing to do, and do it I shall, no matter how difficult.
Chapter Six
Several hours later,Kate sat with her aunt in the drawing room, soaking up the last sliver of afternoon sun that filtered through the windows, which would no doubt soon vanish. She held a worn copy ofSense and Sensibility, a book she’d loved. She never tired of reading about the Dashwood sisters. Usually, their troubles took her mind off her own, but not today. She could not concentrate on her reading because, try as she may, she could not repress her thoughts of Lord Knox. She wanted so badly to be stoic—to honor the love she’d shared with Theo, but the more she tried to forget what had happened in the park earlier, the more persistent her doubts became. Was Aunt Jane, correct? Had she been too quick to rebuff Lord Knox—a handsome and powerful earl—and possibly the only person who could help her out of her predicament?
Papa had always said she was too proud. She’d rather condemn herself to a lifetime with a nasty and selfish little man like Middlemarch than accept that Lord Knox might never find her as devastatingly attractive as she found him. But in truth, she missed what she’d had with Theo. She wanted to feel love and passion again. Kate shuddered. She was like Eve—unable to return to her pure state after tasting the forbidden fruit.
“Miss Kathrine, there’s a gentleman here to see you.” The butler came into the drawing room.
“A gentleman?” Kate’s heart leapt.
“Yes, miss. One Lord Middlemarch. May I show him in?”
Her heart plummeted and then started to beat rapidly.What is Middlemarch doing here?Had he come to tell her that he’d finally arranged the special license and was ready to set a date for their marriage? In as little as one or two days from now, she could be Lady Middlemarch. The thought made her nauseous.
She swallowed and tried to compose herself. “Certainly, Mason,” she said.
Aunt Jane stood, smoothed her sky-blue dress, and placed a comforting hand on Kate’s shoulder.
Seconds later, the butler reappeared and announced the arrival of Lord Middlemarch, who stepped into the room. Although it had only been a few days since Kate had last seen him, she thought he looked even more gaunt and sour than she’d remembered. Kate forced a polite smile but found she was unable to speak.
