“You mustn’t blame yourself,” Miss Sheldon put a gloved hand on his arm, and her touch filled him with warmth. “It was only a headache. How were you to know?”
Oliver shook his head. “The doctor couldn’t make sense of it. It was simply inexplicable. She was young, healthy, and so full of life, yet killed by a simple headache.”
“I’m sorry,” Miss Sheldon said. “Life can be cruel. Perhaps I am lucky to be marrying a man I could never love.”
The sadness in her voice was palpable, and Oliver’s heart ached for her and for himself. To deny oneself love for fear of loss suddenly seemed ludicrous. The eight years he’d spent with his wife had been the happiest of his life. Despite the pain of her loss, he could never regret the love they’d shared. “You’re wrong,” he said suddenly. “Don’t marry that rogue Middlemarch. You deserve to love again.”
She gave him a sad smile. “We had this conversation already, my lord, and I told you then that I don’t have a choice.”
Oliver went silent.What do you have to lose?The Black Widow’s words came back to him.If you truly cannot have a child of your own, then this is your chance to gain a family. To be happy again. No one will know any differently.
“Kate.” He reached and brushed a chestnut strand from her face. “What I told Mrs. Dove-Lyon—it was a mistake. If you’ll permit it, I’d like to reconsider.”
“Reconsider?” She took a step back as if rejecting the idea with her whole body.
“What I mean is—I’d like us to spend some time together, and if you find me agreeable—suitable—I’d like to—” he paused.
“You’d like to do what?” She cocked her head. “Propose marriage?” Her tone was incredulous and somewhat harsh.
“Perhaps?” he said, surprised by her anger. “If we find each other agreeable.”
“But it’s too late! I’m already betrothed.”
“And I told you Middlemarch won’t be a problem.”
“I don’t want to marry a man who pities me.” She straightened her shoulders. “Middlemarch may be cruel, but at least he doesn’t pity me.”
“That’s not—” he began.
Thank you, Lord Knox,” Miss Sheldon said, cutting him off, “for your very kind offer of help. I know you mean well, and I appreciate the gesture, but I made my own choices, and now I must pay the price. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I must get back before my aunt misses me. Good day, my lord,” she said, rushing past him as her tears started to flow again.
Oliver stood frozen, knowing he should chase after her and insist on escorting her home, but he could not move. The silence of the early morning engulfed him as he watched her go.
“Where in theworld have you been, Kate?” I have been worried sick.” Aunt Jane put down her newspaper as Kate entered the breakfast room.
“Only in the park, Aunt. You needn’t have worried. You know I enjoy a morning walk when I have difficulty sleeping.”
“You went to the park unchaperoned? Kate, you know better than that!”
“Oh, Aunt, I have enough to worry about without concerning myself with London gossips.”
Aunt Jane’s face softened. “Why have you had difficulty sleeping? Is something wrong? Is the babe—”
“No,” Kate said. It’s nothing like that.” She poured herself a cup of tea and sat beside her aunt at the round breakfast table. “It’s a lovely morning, and a walk in the fresh air did me a world of good.”
“Did it?” Her aunt stirred a lump of sugar into her tea. “Because you look perturbed. I can tell you’ve been crying. Did something happen?”
Kate hesitated, uncertain whether or not she should tell her aunt about her meeting with the earl.
“What is it?” Her aunt pressed. “I know you, Kate. You can’t hide things from me. I know something happened, and as your aunt and chaperone here in London, I demand you tell me.”
Kate sighed. “It’s nothing, really. I bumped into Lord Knox in the park, that’s all.”
“The earl?”
Kate nodded.
“The same earl that Mrs. Dove-Lyon thought would be a good match for you?”
