Nimita narrowed her eyes at him but did not push.
“Let’s talk about other things.” Roshan tugged at Nimi’s hand, pulling her back into his arms. “Where were we?”
“Tell me what the deal is with you being so protective of Malini. She’s a great person. I think she can take care of herself,” Nimita said. “Didn’t you say she’s not sick anymore? She seems super healthy.”
Roshan groaned. “It’s my job to take care of her. As long as I can remember, once she got sick, my parents counted on me to make sure she was safe and healthy.” Nimita wasn’t the first person to question him. Vishal and Karan got on his case, plenty.
“Isn’t that a lot on you?” Nimita asked.
He stared at her. In all the years that Vishal and Karan had given him grief, in all the time that Simmy had not been able to get past what Roshan had felt was necessary for Malini, no one had bothered to ask how taking care of her had affected him.
Not even himself.
He opened his mouth to respond but shut it as he had no idea what to say. “I never really thought about it.”
Nimita pressed her mouth together and nodded. “Maybe you want to think about it.”
“Listen.” He sighed. He couldn’t do a Simmy situation all over again. It was too much pain. Nimita had seemed different, but… “My sister will always be a part of my life. I will always worry about her. If that’s a problem…” He shook his head at her, shrugged and tried to prepare for true heartbreak. He’d rather cut his losses now.
“That’s not what I said. I know what you all went through. You told me she relapsed a couple of times, and you’ve been looking after her from such a young age. You’ve got baggage there, I get it, and it’s between you and your sister.” She was looking him in the eye. “What I asked was if you had ever thought about how taking care of your sister affectedyou. Who takes care of you, Roshan?”
He was speechless. She wasn’t trying to change him. This woman was genuinely concerned with how he was coping. He went weak in his knees and sat down.
She stepped closer to him. He wrapped his arms around her waist and rested his head against her belly as she threaded her fingers through his hair. He’d always been in motion caring for those around him. Malini, his parents, his patients. Not once had he even considered a toll on himself. “It’s always been irrelevant…how I feel,” he said softly.
“It’s not,” she said. “It’s not to me.”
It had never mattered, the toll on him. It didn’t matter, did it? If he started thinking about how caregiving affected him, would he even be able to be a doctor?
Nimita was the first person to pose this question. Maybe she didn’t know him as well as he had hoped.
Chapter Fourteen
Roshan Dave lived in San Diego. In Pacific Beach. Walking distance from Nimita’s sister’s house, in fact. And her new friend, Molly—Mali—was Roshan’s sister, and she had told him that she was falling for him. Because she was.
It was unrealistic. Who fell so hard for a guy in five days?
Unrealistic or not, the answer washer.
Nimita was digesting all of this new information while still navigating the situation with her father, sister and niece. She felt lighter and happier, but she still hadn’t shared whatever was between her and Roshan with her sister. She wasn’t hiding it, it just never seemed to come up. Or she was too much of a coward to bring him to Reena’s critical eye.
Nimita had started a new routine. In addition to waking up early to change Naya and play with her before Reena was ready for her, Nimita took over her father’s medications. She learned what he was on and why and where and how often they needed to be picked up. While Reena fed and played with Naya before starting work, Nimita checked email, starting her job search in earnest. She was looking locally, which had more to do with her family than anything else. Midmorning, she put Naya in the stroller, and she and her dad took the little girl for a walk. This way Reena would have about forty-five minutes of complete quiet time to do whatever she wanted.
Her father took his cane and held her arm while she pushed Naya’s stroller. She had missed time with her father, and she had a lot to make up to him.
“Tell me, Beti. What did you do and see while you were gone?” he asked as they walked. His hand on her arm was stronger than she’d expected, but his balance was not solid.
Nimita told him stories about the places she had been, the adventures she’d had. He was full of questions and seemed genuinely interested in her.
“I missed you, Beti,” he said softly.
“I missed you, too, Papa.” She paused. “I’m sorry I haven’t been around.”
He waved her off. “Children are meant to go out into the world.”
Except Reena never had.
They walked a bit in comfortable silence, Nimita finding a sliver of peace with her father and niece.
