He stared at his mother.
“Live your life. I just saw you get up in the middle of the night for Riya.” She raised an eyebrow at him.
Dhillon rolled his eyes and shrugged.
The smirk on her face said everything. “Damn it, Dhillon. Go get her. Don’t let the past keep you from your future.” She took his face in her hands like she had done so many times before. But she had to reach up to do it. “Dare to dream with her.”
“I can’t. I can’t have dreams with Riya.” He already had dreams of his life with her, but he never allowed himself to indulge in the fantasy that they could actually come true.
“Why not?”
He ran his hand across his scruff. “You know why. That night...we lost Dad, we lost Samir, we lost—”
“Dhillon, you need to let that go. We had no control overwhowent into the house. Or who came out. Riya is strong. She—”
“I can’t, Mom. I cannot ‘dare to dream’ with her when I know the dream will end.” The words—even his voice—sounded weak, but those were the facts.
She dropped her hands and sighed. “Take some risks, sweetheart. You bought that practice. You talk all the time about how you could make it better. Do it.”
Dhillon just stared at her. She was right. He could take out a loan and redo the office to his liking. He knew exactly how it should be. But he simply did not think taking out another loan right now was wise, with Hetal getting ready for professional school. “Hetal’s going to vet school...” Or at least shewas.
“Forget about all that, Dhillon. We can all manage things together. You will continue to stagnate, living here in this house.” She turned back to the window.
He simply stared out the window next to her and saw what she saw. Tommy Higgins’s tree house. The one he and Riya used to sneak into before the fire. The one she went to after the fire. Alone. She’d been a mess today. But she had to get back to work; she would never forgive herself if she didn’t. So he’d made sure she went back. Even if it scared him to death to have her fighting fires.
“Mom.” Suddenly he was a little boy, his voice shaky. He didn’t remember the last time he’d allowed himself to feel so vulnerable. “Mom, I can’t remember what he looked like.” His eyes burned, and he was shocked to feel the prickle of tears. “I mean, we have all these pictures, but I’m forgetting what he looked like, what he sounded like.”
“Oh, Dhillon.” She squeezed him to her. “I’m so sorry you had to grow up so fast. You never really got to be a kid.” She pulled back and reached up to place her hands on his face again. Dhillon remembered her doing that when he was a boy. Right now, he felt like that boy. “You only need to remember how he made you feel. Your dad made me feel like anything was possible. He made me feel like I could do anything. That was his superpower. How you make people feel is something that is never forgotten. That being said, beta, you must move forward with your life. Buy a house—” She put up a finger against his unspoken protest. “I know you can afford it. This house has been paid off for a few years now.”
Her eyes filled with sorrow for him. She shrugged, letting him go. “Look at these pictures. Your father was always up for an adventure. Always ready to try something new. He’s gone. Us pining away for him will never bring him back, Dhillon. It’s time we took some chances, risked a little to live our lives.”
She paused and turned to stare at the tree house. “I knew you and Riya used to sneak off to that tree house.” She cocked a grin at him.
Dhillon was wide-eyed with shock. “You did?”
She nodded. “Your dad knew, too. We also knew it was Riya who made you go.”
Dhillon tried to hide the smile that crept to his face with those memories. He and Riya would meet up after dark and take snacks up to the tree house. They smuggled up the requisite chocolate and cupcakes, but they also took spicy Indian snacks. Dhillon had to admit, there had been something exciting about eating all that in a tree house they weren’t supposed to be in. They had discussed the latest theories onThe X-Files, the validity ofERepisodes, as well as the drama of90210andSaved by the Bell. They talked about school and what they wanted to be when they grew up. Riya had changed her mind every day.
“She’s good for you. And you for her.” His mother smirked at him again, making him wonder what his face had just revealed. “Your father is long gone. He was a great man. But us living in the past is never going to bring him back.”
“Are you kicking me out?”
“I’m trying to.” She stared again at the tree house, inhaling deeply, as if gathering power from her breath. Her eyes were bright and excited when she turned back to him. “You know what? Screw my big brother. I can date if I want. Rohun treats me like a capable woman. Which is more than I can say for any other man in my life—including you.”
“I think you’re capable, Mom,” Dhillon defended himself.
“Then why do you still live here?”
“To make sure you’re okay.” The excuse was starting to sound lame, even to him.
“I don’t need that.” She turned to leave the kitchen. “Dhillon, if you want to know what your father looked like, just look in the mirror. You look just like him.” She smiled again, the tears gone from her eyes. “Your sister and I love you, and we will always need you. But we don’t need you to take care of us all the time.”
She turned back to him at the doorway. “But I do want a dog.”
Dhillon nodded and looked out the window again. The moon was full and high, and it lit what was left of Tommy’s tree house.
twenty-six
