“See, my dear, you are no one special. When the time does come for Sam to marry, I will see to it that the woman is...appropriate.” She stepped back and opened her purse, taking out her checkbook. “Something that you are not.
“You are free to tell him about your baby, but where would that leave you? He may marry you, he may not.” Hema-auntie frowned and shrugged as she took out a pen and scrawled on a check. “In either case, Sam has a sense of responsibility, so more likely than not, he’ll try to take care of you and that child.”
She paused as she turned sad eyes on Maya. “But what happens five or even ten years from now when he realizes that you and your child stole all of his dreams? His real dreams? Sure, right now he thinks he can save the world as a small, two-bit lawyer working for the people—but that won’t last. And that’s your influence, anyway. He never spoke of that until you came along.” She raised a triumphant eyebrow. “Will he think he loves you then? Or will he turn bitter?” She moved closer, and Maya nearly gagged again when her nostrils were overcome with the sickly floral scent of lavender perfume. “He may even leave. Abandoning not only you, but your child. What kind of life is that?”
Maya knew exactly what kind of life that was. She felt the air leave the room. She fumbled for a seat, and Hema-auntie continued to talk, but Maya couldn’t hear her. She was right, of course. Sam would feelobligatedto stay with her. He would eventually abandon not only her, but her child, too. She couldn’t knowingly put her baby through that.
Hema-auntie handed her a slip of paper. “Maya. Maya! Did you hear me?” Maya took the paper. “Take this check.” Her voice was harsh. “It should be enough to take care of things however you see fit.” She made a point to look into Maya’s eyes. “And if you tell Sam I did this, he won’t believe you.”
CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE
SAM
New York, 2013
SAMTHUNDEREDAWAYfrom Maya’s apartment, deaf to the sounds of traffic, blind to the world around him. The only sound—his own blood pulsing in his head. The only sight—the movie of Samantha’s life, playing in his mind.
A life he had missed.
By the time he realized that he’d forgotten the birth certificate, he was a block away from the subway, standing in front of an empty building with a for lease sign in the window. He leaned against the glass wall, not seeing the people pass him by while he played back the scene Maya had just narrated to him. He still had the check in his pocket. He took it out, and a snippet of a conversation he’d overheard at Christmas came to him. His heart broke again.
Rage flowed through him and he barely remembered taking the subway home. Suddenly, he found himself in his apartment, and Paige was asking why he was home from work. Why was she home? Then he remembered. She had wedding things to do. His mother was here.
“Where is my mother?” he growled.
“I’m right here, dear.” His mother emerged from the spare bedroom. “What’s wrong, Sam? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
His heart pounding in his chest, he produced the check from his pocket and slammed it down on the island. Both Paige and his mother jumped at the sound. His mother paled. “Where did you get that?” It was barely a whisper.
“I found it.”
“She gave it to you, didn’t she?” His mother actually had the guts to spit the words out as if Maya had done something wrong. “That little—”
“Watch it.” It was something between a growl and a hiss as something feral reared its head inside him.
“What did she tell you?”
“She told me everything.” He barely moved his lips.
She softened. “You have to understand, Sam. You were young. She was young. You two hardly knew each other...”
“It wasn’t your decision.” It was taking all his restraint not to blow up at her.
“I tried to stay out of it.” His mother raised her chin. “When she turned down your proposal, I thought it was over. That you could move on... But then your father convinced you to see her again. I couldn’t let that happen. I couldn’t stand by and watch you throw your life away for the wrong girl.” She squared her shoulders, but her lips trembled, ever so slightly. “So I went to see her. I was just going to scare her off. But then I found out she was pregnant. I knew you’d never leave her if you knew. I knew you would honor your responsibilities. So I did it for you. I wrote her that check and sent her on her way.” Her voice cracked ever so little, even as she fought to maintain her stance. “I did it for your future.”
This was so backward to him, he let go of his restraint. “Is that what you thought? That I would ‘honor’ my responsibilities?” Sam paced, his voice getting louder. He ran a hand through his hair, loosened his tie. “I loved her. I was ready to spend the rest of my life with her—baby or not. Do you have any idea what I went through when she left—no explanation, no goodbye, no nothing?”
“She would have ruined you. All those dreams of a political career would have been gone once you settled for the quiet life she was dragging you into. I saved you.” No mama bear could have been a match for his mother. Even with Sam almost shouting at her, she wouldn’t back down. “Don’t you see? She was wrong for you. You need someone like Paige, someone who can be there for you and has a stomach for a life in politics.”
“Those were never my dreams.” He spit the words out. He turned to Paige. Tears were already streaming down her face. “How long have you known?”
Paige wiped her eyes with shaking fingers. “I, um, I figured it out at Diwali.” She looked him in the eye. “I heard them talking. Maya swore she would never tell you. She didn’t.” Paige shook her head, swallowed. “She didn’t want to hurt you.” Fresh tears fell down her cheeks and she pressed her lips together as she wiped them away.
Sam glared at Paige for a moment, turmoil brewing inside him. She was supposed to love him. But she had kept the secret, too. He turned his back on her and returned to his mother. “Your own grandchild, Mother.”
“It was a sacrifice I was willing to make.”
“That’s how you see this? A sacrifice? Something for the ‘greater good’?” Sam threw up his arms and shook his head in disbelief. “So I guess you won’t mind if I never let you see Samantha again.”
