New York, 2012
MAYALITTHEcotton-and-butter wick on the last diya and looked around to check her handiwork. The coffee shop was bathed in soft light from the flickering diya, as it was every year for Diwali. Aromas of onion, garlic and garam masala from tonight’s dinner of palak paneer,chickentikka and fresh naan wafted down to her all the way from her mother’s apartment. She and her mother always closed the shop on this day to celebrate the coming of the new year. It used to be just her, her mom and Raju-kaka, along with Ami and her family. Deepak-mama and his family had come on occasion, but it wasn’t always convenient for them to make the trip from Maryland. She would miss them again this year. As the years passed, Ajay started to join them, along with his family. When they’d added fireworks, the neighbors had wanted in on the fun. Now, their annual Diwali gathering was highly anticipated in the neighborhood, and they usually maxed out the capacity of the coffee shop.
After everything was in place, Maya dashed upstairs to put on her sari and help Samantha into her outfit. This year, Maya had donned a burgundy chiffon sari with a smattering of beadwork. Simple, elegant, yet festive. Samantha was wearing achaniya choli—a short blouse and floor-length skirt with a half-length sari wrapped around her—also in burgundy. Maya was leaning toward the mirror to properly center herchandlo, when Samantha paused in the doorway.
“Here, let me help you with that.” Samantha rushed in and took the tiny adhesive jewel and centered it on Maya’s forehead. “Gorgeous!Naniwanted me to tell you to hurry because people are here.”
“Well, let’s go then.” Maya grabbed a tray of food and went down to the shop to greet her guests. Her mother and Raju-kaka were already mingling with everyone, just as they should be. They looked so natural together, greeting everyone with a “Happy Diwali!” and their hands clasped together in front of them in namaste.
Raju-kaka kept a protective hand on the small of her mother’s back, and she allowed him to direct her in this way. This small gesture added to Maya’s lightness in the spirit of the holiday, and she caught Raju-kaka’s eye. He winked at her, handsome as ever in his creamsherwanitunic and matching cream bottoms, with a bright blue scarf that conveniently matched the exact shade of her mother’s sari. She carried the warm tray to a table near the counter where they had set up a buffet table and returned to her mother and Raju-kaka. She bent down to touch their feet for blessings, as was the custom. As always, they stopped her halfway, insisting that the gesture of respect was not necessary. Her mother hugged her tight and joined in the laughter surrounding her. Raju-kaka glowed, unable to tear his eyes from his love.
People milled about, chatting and laughing, the festive beat of the tablas and Bollywood music providing the track for their fun. Maya pushed aside her troubles from the week and lived in the moment. Thoughts of Sam were pushed away. Or at least pushed to the back of her mind.
Diwali was the eve of the new year. It was the celebration of light over dark. Historically, this was the day that Ram and his wife, Sita, along with his brother, Laxman, returned to their hometown of Ayodhya after having been banished to the jungle for fourteen years. For Maya, it had been the first time anyone had celebrated the fact that she was pregnant with Samantha. A young girl, pregnant out of wedlock, no sign of the father—in her world, this was unheard of. She had felt banished herself. Sure, her mother was a single mother—but at least she had been married. Sunita had been convinced that Maya’s future was bleak, and her uncle and aunt had just looked upon her with disappointment dripping from their very beings.
But that Diwali, she had been three months pregnant, and panic was setting in, because she was starting to show. Raju-kaka had taken her into his arms and told her it was a new beginning. He scolded Sunita, and told her to get over herself, that Maya shouldn’t be treated like an outcast for falling in love—especially by her own mother. It was the only time Maya had ever seen Raju-kaka angry with her mother.
Sure enough, after that Diwali, things turned around. It still wasn’t easy, but Maya had held her head up and dealt with whatever came her way. She had come to terms with giving up some dreams, but she had found new ones and had never looked back. It was that Diwali that she had had the idea to modernize the bakery her mother had run, and add the coffee roastery. Her mother had insisted on keeping some baked goods, and eventually they’d evolved into what Maya had today.
Maya closed her eyes and told herself that this, too, was a new beginning, and she simply had to move on from Sam, just like she had all those years ago. It was the hardest thing she’d ever done, and if she was honest with herself, she never had moved on—she’d simply pushed Sam and every feeling that went with him into a small corner of her mind. But like an overstuffed cupboard, her feelings had burst out with a vengeance, and now every cell in her body was filled with him. That was when she heard Samantha’s voice.
“Dad! You came!”
“Hi, sweetheart. You remember Paige?”
“Yeah, sure.” Samantha’s voice was easygoing and friendly, as if teenage girls met their father’s fiancées every day. “It’s really nice to officially meet you.”
Light laughter eased whatever tension there may have been, but Maya’s body tensed. She knew Samantha had invited them, but Maya didn’t think they would actually show.
She turned toward Sam’s voice and her breath caught. She had never had occasion to see Sam in his Indian clothes, and she wished she hadn’t now. He stood tall, his broad shoulders filling out a navy silk sherwani, with a gray scarf that he had simply hung around his neck. He was smiling at Samantha, and Maya had a full and complete view of his dimple and perfect teeth, not to mention the love in his eyes as he wrapped his daughter in a hug.
Against everything she knew was right, Maya melted, and tears filled her eyes. The navy showed off Sam’s brown skin tone, and the silk stretched pleasantly over his muscles as he hugged his daughter. As if he could feel her gaze, he looked up and found Maya watching him. Something soft flickered in his brown eyes before they turned hard again, in a way Maya was becoming familiar with. She averted her gaze and blinked back tears as if she had been caught doing something wrong.
“Mom!” Samantha called out as she walked over. “Look who’s here.”
Maya forced a casual smile onto her face. “I can see. Happy Diwali, Sam. Paige, it’s good to see you. I’m glad you were both able to join us.”
“Happy Diwali, Maya.” Sam sounded formal, as if they’d never met before. Clearly the fact that Maya agreed to the paternity test had not swayed Sam from his general anger at her.
Paige glanced sideways at Sam before smiling at Maya. “Thanks for having us. I did some reading about Diwali, and this celebration seemed a wonderful way to start anew.”
Maya couldn’t help smiling at Paige. “You’re right, of course. It is Diwali, after all—new beginnings and all that.” She worked to keep her eyes averted from Sam, and so concentrated on the sari Paige had donned for the occasion. It was a navy blue silk with a gray border, and it matched Sam’s outfit perfectly. But it was slipping from her shoulder.
“I have a surprise for Samantha.” Sam’s voice dragged Maya’s gaze back to him.
“Whoa? Really?” Samantha’s face lit up.
“Well.” Sam looked so happy it was like he was the one getting the surprise. “I heard all about how you don’t play soccer anymore, so I signed you up for a team again. And since you’ve missed some time, I’ll give you some goalie training myself.”
He’d done what?Maya stiffened.
“What? Dad, that’s amazing!” Samantha’s face mirrored Sam’s for a moment, and she threw her arms around his neck. “Thank you, thank you, thank you.” She hugged Maya.
“Um, Samantha, can you take Paige into the kitchen and help her with her sari?” Maya pointed to Paige’s shoulder. “Your sariis slipping—Samantha can help you pin it.”
Paige appeared grateful as Samantha led her back toward the kitchen.
Maya narrowed her eyes at Sam. “What did you do?”
