When the door opens, Maddy is standing there in a pink hoodie and a pair of knit pajama shorts. She looks like she just woke up, but the way her eyes flick to my hands and back to my eyes makes it clear she's very awake now.
“You’re here,” she states, looking confused.
“Yeah…” I rub my hands together, suddenly feeling stupid. “I just wanted to talk to you about what happened.”
She narrows her eyes at me. “You could’ve just called.”
“I could’ve,” I agreed. “But I thought this might mean more—and also, I just moved in upstairs this morning.”
“Great,” she groans, her shoulders slumping. “Now youalllive here.”
I chuckle at the look on her face. “It doesn’t have to be a bad thing, you know. We like you, Maddy.Clearly.”
Her face softens as she lets out a light laugh. “You want to come in?” She steps aside, one foot kicking an errant sneaker out of my path.
I follow her through the new apartment, thinking about the horrible place she lived in when I brought her medicine and food. “This place is a little different from your previous one, huh?”
“Yeah,” she laughs, eyeing me over her shoulder. “It’s pretty awesome when you have more than four hundred square feet to exist in.”
“That’s fair,” I chuckle, leaning against the kitchen island. “Is your roommate here?”
Maddy hovers by the fridge and shakes her head. “She got in late last night, and then she had to leave early this morning for some sort of art show.”
“Ah, okay,” I eye her, trying to reconcilethisMaddy with the panicked woman who fled like her life was in danger yesterday. “So…” I drum my fingers on the counter. “How’s life?”
She laughs. “It’s a disaster.” She pops open the fridge, pulls out a pitcher of water, and sets it on the counter. “But I think I’m slowly recovering.”
“That’s good news,” I say cheerfully. I don’t really know how to handle something like this, but I’m desperate to know she’s really okay—beyond just the surface level of surviving. “Did Beck talk to you?”
Maddy chews on her bottom lip and fills the glasses. “Well,” she slides one my way, “He made it clear that I wasn’t going to be fired, among other things…” Her voice trails off as her eyes flick to the windows.
I rock back on my heels, already imagining what ‘other things’means. The thought has me both aroused and intimidated. I take a sip of the water as a distraction, feeling strangely awkward in the moment.
“Um, anyway…” She sighs, turning her gaze back to me and hopping up on the edge of the counter. “Do you want to talk in here? Or…?”
“Bedroom,” I say, immediately regretting how it sounds. “Sorry, I don’t mean that I want to… It’s just if we’re having a conversation that might get personal, I’d rather do it where it’s private in case your roommate returns in the middle of it.”
She grins, raising her brows. “You might be the only guy who’s ever told me he just wants to talk in my bedroom.”
I chuckle uncomfortably as I follow her to the bedroom. The room inside is dim, lit only by a salt lamp on the nightstand and a strand of Christmas lights wound around the headboard. The bed itself is a mess of blankets, each with a different pattern and texture. That part still screams of the Maddy I witnessed at her other apartment.
Maddy plops onto the bed, cross-legged. She tugs the blanket over her lap, tucking herself in. I sit beside her, not quite touching her, even though I have a strong urge to.
“So…” She picks at a loose thread. “I guess what happened Friday was a bit of a catalyst to disaster.”
“That’s one way to put it,” I admit, letting out a sigh. I run my fingers through my hair. “But you have to know, Maddy,” I meet her gaze. “I don’t regret it at all. I like you, even if you like Adrian and Beck, too. I don’t know how to turn that part of me off, but I also don’t know how to deal with the idea of multiple partners.
She nods, biting her lip. “I see…”
“It was really overwhelming,” I say, and then stop myself. “But I’m sure it was for you, too. And that’s why I’m here. To check on you, Maddy.”
She leans her head to one side, her hair falling forward and spilling over her shoulder. “Why are you so sweet?”
“I care about you, and this is what you do for people you care about.”
She’s quiet for a second. “Thank you, but you know…” She picks at the blanket again and sighs. “You really should be thinking about yourself and what youwant, too. Not just worrying about me.”
I fight the need to get defensive. “I don’t really know how to do that. I’m not worried about me. It’s important to me thatyouare happy. I don’t really know how to gauge that for myself.” My jaw sets, and I can’t look at her anymore. I stare at the salt lamp instead, its orange glow turning everything around it to molten gold.
