“Caleb,” Maddy shifts closer. “Do you think you don’t deserve happiness, or are you just not used to it?”
I close my eyes as her hand lands on my thigh and she gives it a squeeze. “Maybe both.”
“I’m sorry that you’ve never had that, and I know that this is all a mess, but you don’t have to carry everything yourself. I care that you’re happy, too. It’s not just about me.”
I shake my head, meeting her gaze. “But I can’t turn it off. It’s like… the only way I know how to be useful.”
“You don’t have to be useful,” she says softly. “Sometimes you have to let people help you. Because I’m pretty sure that’s what you told me, remember?” She gives me a look that makes me desperate to kiss her.
I’m not sure how to respond, so I let out an awkward breath. “I’m sorry if I’ve made this weird. I came here with the intention of talking about how things are going for you with everything, not me.”
She reaches for me, interlacing her fingers with mine. “I think we should start by being honest.”
The words send a jolt of panic through me, but I suppress it. “Okay. Let’s be honest, and since you brought it up, you can go first.”
She eyes me, her fingers warm against mine. “Um, well… I think it’s only fair to tell you that I slept with Beck last night.” She pauses for a beat. “And Adrian.”
I swallow the jealousy and try to sound unbothered. “They were here last night?”
Maddy shakes her head. “No, I ran into Beck at the rooftop pool, and then Adrian just so happened to show up.”
“And youallhad sex? At the same time?” I don’t know why this startles me, but the thought of Adrian choosing to engage is mind-blowing.
“It started with just Beck and me, then it turned into all three.” Her cheeks flush a deep shade of red, and I squeeze her hands, hating the fact that she appears embarrassed by her own desires.
“There’s nothing wrong with that,” I say, wanting her to know that she has nothing to be ashamed about.
But I feel left out, and I want to tell her.
I just don’t know how.
“Are you mad?” Maddy bites down on her lower lip, looking like she might cry. “You’re the sweetest man, and I don’t want to hurt you, Caleb.”
“I want you to be happy,” I reiterate. “And if they make you happy?—”
She cuts me off. “But I want you,too.”
“Maddy…” My voice comes out quiet. “You don’t have to.”
She cups my face in her hands, her thumbs brushing my jaw. “Let me show you how bad I want you, Caleb. Let me makeyouhappy.”
Her lips are soft on mine, tentative at first, then more confident as I kiss back. She holds my face steady, kissing me deeper, her tongue teasing at my lower lip. I groan into her, my cock stiff as her fingertips slip from my hands and go for the belt on my jeans.
“I want to make you feel good,” Maddy whispers in my ear, her lips trailing down the stubble on my jaw to my neck.
“Maddy…” My hands hover at her waist, unsure of what to even do. I don’t know how to let someone just focus on me. And how to let go.
“Caleb…” She moves then, straddling my lap, the blanket pooling around our bodies. Her hands move down my body, tracing the lines of my shoulders, my chest, and my hips. She pulls my T-shirt over my head, running her fingers across my skin. I shiver from the sensation.
I reach for the hem of her sweatshirt, but she pushes my hands away.
“Just enjoy it,” Maddy murmurs, pulling it off herself. Her hoodie drops to the floor, and I take in the thin tank top she has on, her nipples pressing through the material. I want to touch her so fucking bad, but I wait, letting her set the pace.
She strips it off, her tits bouncing. My cock throbs at the sight of her pink nipples, beckoning for my mouth to be on them.
“You’re so fucking beautiful,” I mumble, as she finally tugs my zipper down and sets my cock free. She watches me as I drag my pants off my body and kick off my shoes in the process.
Her eyes stay focused on my cock as she slides her shorts down, revealing that there are no panties beneath.
