He leaned on the open door and took a deep breath. ‘Trish and Dominic have been arguing, not in front of me, but Iris is aware of it. It’s hard for her, caught in the middle.’
‘I can’t imagine.’ She put the key in the ignition, wanting desperately to ask what they were rowing about but knowing that was as inappropriate as it was unfair, as her motives were self-serving.
‘It’s weird for me, you and Dad were always so...’ He looked into the middle distance and she saw a tendril of grief still present, waiting to wiggle through any gap it could find and take hold. ‘You were mates, weren’t you?’
‘We were.’ She blinked and glanced in the rear-view mirror at the empty back seat.
‘I want it to be like that for me and Iris, it’s important. The thought of living with the kind of tension that Trish and Dominic do, I couldn’t stand it.’
‘It comes with time.’ This was the closest she felt able to come to sayingslow down! Be sure!Knowing that would not land well. ‘You’ll lay the foundations, darling, on which your marriage will be built, open and honest communication and always love, they should be two of them. If you do that from the very start, everything else kind of takes care of itself.’ She let this trail. ‘How did Iris take the news about Holly being pregnant?’
It was then that he met her stare. ‘I haven’t told her yet.’
‘Aiden!’
‘I know,’ he ran his palm over his face, ‘she’s just got so much on at work and what with the wedding planning and her mum and dad and—’
‘You’ve just told me about the kind of marriage you want and keeping secrets is not the way to build honesty. You know this. You get married in less than three weeks! That’s the kind of news that takes a while to percolate, you guys will need to work it through, you need to tell her right now! It’s not fair on her otherwise, or Holly, for that matter. She needs to be able to call you or text you to discuss things and if she’s a big dark skeleton in the cupboard,how will that make her feel? It’s already going to be hard, love, you all need to come together to find a workable solution, otherwise, how will it be when the baby actually arrives? You’re making a complicated situation worse! It’s not on, Aiden! It’s just not on!’
‘You think I don’t know all this?’ He looked for a split second like he might be close to tears.
She toned it down. ‘I know you’ve got a lot going on too. I know you’ll be worrying about everything.’
‘I am, Mum.’ He spoke softly. She decided not to mention that it was a mess of his own making, wanting only to build a bridge and not alienate him any further, her son who right now looked more boy than man.
‘But trust me when I say that if you also have to explain to Iris why you haven’t told her, why you didn’t tell her the very moment you found out, on top of the news itself, that will make it twice as hard. A double blow.’
‘I’ll tell her tonight.’
Enya stowed her bag on the passenger seat and climbed out of the car, wanting to hold her son in her arms. In part to feel him close and take comfort from it, but also to remind him that she was still here, would always be here. To her delight, he wrapped his arms around her and held on in a hug that was slow and heartfelt.
‘I love you, Aiden.’
‘Love you,’ he managed, but still didn’t let her go immediately.
‘Three weeks is a long time. Long enough,’ she whispered, unsure herself of what she was saying,long enough to set ground rules, long enough to argue and come back together, long enough to change your mind...
Finally, his hold on her weakened and she got back into the car.
‘Text me when you get home.’ He smiled, like her, no doubt recognising that it was usually her who issued this instruction.
‘I will.’
‘Oh, meant to say,’ he pointed across the car, ‘looks like something has clunked the passenger door, given it a right old thump. I only noticed it yesterday. There’s a big dip in the paintwork and a dent below the handle. Have you bashed it, or has anything hit you?’
She felt her cheeks flame red. ‘Oh, yes, don’t worry about that. It was...’ She shoved the car into gear. ‘It’s all taken care of, it’s booked in for repair, no need to call the feds!’
She gave a nervous laugh and set off down the driveway, as keen to be gone as she was to arrive home, to get away from the vast house that felt nothing like a home. The house Trish and Dominic had built together, and which now had restlessness pooling on the immaculate floors and echoes of discontent bouncing from the white walls. A place where she had no desire to be, as she was inadvertently placed in the middle of it all. She hoped Trish would be okay, the woman’s turmoil clearly hovering very near the surface.
Another quick glance in her rear-view mirror and there was still no sign of Jonathan; instead she pictured Aiden’s expression of mild amusement at how she had damaged the car and not said so.
‘Fucking hell!’
She banged the steering wheel in an uncharacteristic outburst. In that moment, feeling like she was losing control, in the eye of a storm that someone else had driven her into and with no one throwing her a rope, understanding that it was up to her to drive herself out of it.
Chapter Twenty-Four
It was an easy journey home. Saturday night, and it seemed people were either staying home to enjoy summer in their gardens or had possibly already arrived wherever they were travelling.
