‘The whole “known you for five minutes, but feels like a lifetime” thing. Is it just me?’ He kissed her again.
‘No. It’s not just you.’ She made the delightful confession.
‘I don’t know whether to be excited or shit scared.’ He spoke softly.
‘Both.’
‘Yep, both.’ He held her close and she inhaled the scent of him. A smell that was still a little unfamiliar, yet gloriously intoxicating.
‘I need to sort things, Tawrie. It’s a lot.’ His expression was thoughtful and she loved how seriously he was taking this new coupling. It gave her confidence.
‘It is a lot!’
‘I need to sort things so we can make plans so we can ... so we can ...’ he stuttered.
‘So we can what?’ She leaned back to properly see his face.
‘Go forward, if that’s what you ...’ His shyness was attractive.
‘Yes, it’s what I ... No doubt.’ She placed her hand on her stomach, trying to quell the feelings that threatened to burst from her.
Squashed into the hallway, she was aware of something fundamental shifting in her world. She swallowed and tensed and it was in this second that a portal to a place she had always doubted existed opened up right in front of her. A moment when she felt just like the women who chattered in the café about ‘him indoors’, their ‘other half’ or their ‘bloke’. Women like Nora who looked at Gordy as if he had just fallen from Planet Fantastic; women who had heeded the call, submitted, agreed to share their life with a human who was not a relative. And it was nothing but thrilling, exciting and wonderful with all the possibilities it suggested. It was a realisation, an acceptance, and she was ready. More than ready.
He exhaled slowly and only then was she aware that he’d been holding his breath, confirming for her that her response meant as much to him as his suggestion had to her.
‘That makes me very happy.’ He kissed her again. This time it was gentle and brimming with intent, and it sent a surge of longing right through her core.
She smiled at his simple summary, not only in delight at their easy reunion, but also in anticipation of their walk and the whole night ahead. It was an exchange that she knew would invite further analysis when she was alone, something to ponder as she waited tables or scraped food waste into the bin, or idled in the shower or swam at Hele Bay Beach. Words, plans almost, that would keep her warm when any cold wind of doubt whistled in via her rattly sash window or through the gap at the bottom of the front door.
‘I thought we could go to Woolacombe and walk the beach right round to Putsborough? Do you fancy it?’ His eagerness was infectious.
‘Yes, great. Haven’t done that for a while.’
‘I’ll drive.’ He grabbed a bunch of keys from the wooden hooks that hung on the wall. At least one, she noted, was a door key. She felt a stab of anxiety about the home he had in London – a place she couldn’t picture, a routine of which she was ignorant – and she wondered how, whatever this grew into, things would pan out if he stayed in the city. Simultaneously, she wondered if this quiet, harbourside life would suit him when the sun was absent and the shops were shut for the season. This was no doubt what he meant about sorting things out, untying the knots of his current life.
‘I’m parked in Ropery.’
They made their way down Fore Street. Tawrie’s stomach jumped at the sight of her nan putting the rubbish into the wheelie bin that lived in the bin store at the bottom of the steps that led up to Signal House. It felt way too early to be introducing him tofamily, way too early for publicly acknowledging they even spent time together. It felt like a pressure, putting a stake in the ground that she knew came with expectations, at least from her excitable kin. Not that there was much she could do about it. Without time to second-guess it, her nan shouted.
‘Tawrie Gunn! There you are!’
‘Hi, Nan.’ With little point in trying to avoid it, she decided to bite the bullet. ‘This is Ed. He’s staying at Corner Cottage.’
‘Hello Ed, love. I’m Freda.’ Tawrie noted the way her nan studied him from top to bottom, fully aware that he was so much more than Ed from Corner Cottage.
‘Lovely to meet you, Freda. We’re just off to Woolacombe for a walk on the beach if you want to join us?’
Tawrie was dumbstruck – happy he’d been sweet enough to invite her nan along, but also worried, in case the old lady said yes.
‘Oh, that’s very kind of you, dear, but I’ve just made a cuppa.’ She pointed up the steps. ‘And also my programme’s on in a bit. But you two have fun!’ Her nan winked at her, an act that smacked of approval. ‘See you later, Taw. Love you, my girl!’
She felt her heart swell. ‘Love you too.’
‘And come up any time, Ed, kettle’s always on!’ Freda hummed softly to herself as she trod the stairs.
‘I will!’ Ed seemed taken with her nan, as they watched her disappear up the steep steps. ‘She’s fab!’
‘Yep.’
