She parked the car in the driveway next to Georgie’s and, taking a moment to compose herself and find a smile, she followed her children as the four of them trod the neat gravel which crunched underfoot. Lawrence opened the wide front door.
‘There you are! I was beginning to worry. Come on in!’ Winnie called accusatorily from the spacious kitchen, as if she’d been waiting for hours.
Julie knew they could only have arrived minutes ahead. She watched as Winnie placed two varieties of grapes on a vast olive wood board that groaned under the weight of various cheeses, fresh figs, an assortment of crackers and bowls of jewel-coloured chutneys and spicy jams. It was quite the display. This, too, allabsolutely standard: the overt show of wealth, the mountain of food, the inevitable waste.
‘Will you have some cheese, Jules?’ Her mother-in-law beamed.
‘Oh, I couldn’t! I’m so full, but it looks lovely.’ She smiled.
‘I’ll give you a plate in case you change your mind.’ Winnie nodded as she shoved the gold-rimmed side plate into her hand with a napkin folded on top, her expression indicating she hoped her daughter-in-law would succumb.
‘Thanks.’
‘I think everyone’s on the terrace. I’ll be out in a mo. Bernie’s got the ice buckets out – it’s going to be a long night!’ Winnie trilled.
Julie walked across the plush pale-blue carpet and out on to the terrace where the family had sunk down into the soft cushions of the grey rattan furniture and now clutched glasses of fizz to their chests. Lawrence was chatting to Georgie, and her kids were either side of their grandad; Cleo patted a space on the sofa next to her.
‘Wasn’t that a fabulous meal?’ Bernie greeted her. ‘Great food for my beautiful, incredible family, and such a milestone. Forty years!’ He shook his head as tears beckoned.
‘It really was.’ She took the seat next to Cleo, who looked tired.
‘How you doing?’ She spoke softly to her sister-in-law. Cleo was kind and unassuming and Julie knew that even had they met in any other circumstances they would still be friends. It was nice. An ally of sorts.
‘I’m tired.’ Cleo let her head fall forward. ‘Do I look tired?’
‘No! You look glowy and wonderful,’ she lied.
‘I don’t feel particularly glowy.’ Cleo rubbed the thin paisley print cotton tunic that clung to her bump.
‘I know you’ll be sick of people asking, I remember it felt like a pressure, but anything happening?’ She squeezed Cleo’s hand. It was wonderful and exciting that this baby was nearly here. Juliecouldn’t wait to meet her new niece or nephew. There was something about holding a newborn in her arms that set the whole world right. It reminded her of a time when hers had been tiny, and the future for them all had looked so rosy.
‘Hard to tell.’ Cleo ran her hand under and over her swollen stomach. ‘I’ve felt a bit achy for days, I can’t sleep, obviously, peeing non-stop. I’m ... heavy and the heaviness is low.’ Again she cradled the base of her tummy. ‘There’s the odd cramp, but how do you know if you’ve not experienced it before whether this is “it” or whether it’s just regular end-of-pregnancy grumbles?’
‘You don’t, I guess, and with my two, each pregnancy was entirely different so just because I’d been through it, I was none the wiser.’
‘Were you scared?’ Cleo rubbed her palms together.
‘Little bit. Are you?’
‘More than a little bit.’ She sucked air through her teeth.
‘Don’t be. Just remember that the maternity team have delivered thousands and thousands of babies. It’s what they do all day, every day and they have seen every eventuality and have a plan for it. So even though it’s all new and scary for you, for them it’s like shelling peas.’
‘Shelling peas.’ Cleo exhaled. ‘I know you’re right. I guess because this little one has been so hard fought for.’ It was no secret, the battle she and Georgie had had to get pregnant. ‘And the thought of it going wrong at this point, after we’ve come so far ...’ Cleo stopped talking, as if even to voice the words felt too much.
‘It won’t. You’ve got this.’
‘I know.’ Cleo looked over at Winnie. ‘I guess I’m super-aware. I’ve heard what happened to Louis and it feels weird to know that Mum’s pregnancy was perfect, just perfect, and then just like that it wasn’t. It scares me.’
‘Yeah, but from what I understand, Louis was poorly and nowadays that would have been picked up on the scan so at least your mum and dad could have mentally prepared for what might happen, but it was different then, I guess.’
‘I guess.’
Julie could tell from Cleo’s tone that her words offered little comfort. She remembered the day she went into labour with Domino, Lawrence rushing home from the site out of town, where they were converting an industrial warehouse into flats. He was so excited, they all were, even Cassian who had helped paint the nursery and chosen a big stuffed panda as her first soft toy. The memory of that beautiful, carefree time made tears gather at the back of her throat. A very different time. A very different life.
‘You okay, Jules?’
‘Mmm ... Just thinking about when they were little.’ She nodded towards her kids. Cassian was chatting to Bernie while Domino was sitting quietly, taking it all in. ‘It felt like everything was possible.’
