“You said it.” I straighten in my seat, getting ready to leave, when Kevin speaks.
“I’ve noticed a change in you since we first met. A good change.” He leans forward, face unreadable. “It’s nice to see. Is there anything new going on in your personal life or at work that might account for this?”
Weeks ago, I would’ve fed him lies to appease him. I’m not oblivious to my shift in attitude. My family has commented on it multiple times. Marcus hasn’t brought up Harriet again, but Ican tell he’s itching to. Even my colleagues have approached me more often, asking questions or seeking advice.
I should’ve told Kevin about Harriet the moment she came back into my life. Maybe a selfish part of me wanted to keep her to myself and away from the messy parts of my world. Only, she’s at the center of everything I do these days. She knows about my suspension, my failed marriage, and, for some absurd reason, she’s still here. Marcus is right—I don’t give her enough credit.
Forty-eight hours later, and I still can’t shake the kiss in her kitchen and the words she left me with before I left the cottage.
“I met someone,” I say brusquely, eyes on the worn carpet under my boots. “Her name is Harriet.”
There isn’t an ounce of surprise in his reply. “That’s great. How long have you been seeing each other?”
I groan, regretting my choice of words. “We’re not seeing each other. We met in October, shortly after my suspension, at a local town fair. We, uh, spent the night together, never planning to meet again.”
The man across from me nods encouragingly.
“She ended up being the singer at my brother’s wedding.” I resist the urge to clench my fists at the memory of that evening. “Turns out, she’d been looking for me. We didn’t exchange numbers, and I wasn’t totally truthful about my job.”
“Why was she looking for you?”
Five seconds drag on like an eternity before I answer. “She’s pregnant. With my baby.”
This is the first time I’ve witnessed anything close to surprise on Kevin’s face.
“I didn’t handle it well at first. Since then, we’ve agreed to make a real effort at being co-parents. There’s still a lot to come to terms with, which is why I’m telling you.” I scrub ahand across my face and slow my breathing. “She’s incredible. Patient, kind. I can’t imagine raising a child with anyone else, but lately, things have…progressed.”
“How?”
“I want to see where this can go outside of being co-parents. We both do. Or she did. I don’t want to rush anything and risk the strong relationship we’ve developed. I vowed to never be in a relationship again after Alison—until I truly got to know Harriet, and suddenly, I can see it again.”
“See what?”
“The light. Through everything I’ve been through, I can see something promising at the end of the tunnel, and I’m not afraid to fight for it. The idea of being with her doesn’t frighten me as much as it did months ago. I want to be the man she deserves—who my child deserves. I want to try being a family. I want…to make her happy.”
An anvil-sized weight lifts off my chest. I could never say all this to my friends or family. They know my past as much as Kevin, but they’d push me to dive head first without checking the waters. Kevin is pragmatic and won’t tell me to swim if there’s a risk of drowning.
The tides remain choppy, not yet safe for swimming, but over the horizon, behind the gray clouds that have stained my skies for so long, a flash of blue appears. I’ve grown tired of fighting the stormy currents, my legs weary and mind sluggish.
If I stop now, what was it all for? If there’s peace at the end, I can find the strength to make it.
If Harriet is there, waiting for me, I’ll do it. I’ll do whatever it takes.
He looks at his watch and settles back in his chair. “How about we extend today’s session into lunch?”
I exhale loudly. “I’ve got nowhere else to be.”
Fear has restrained me for far too long.
Today is an inch down a very long road ahead, but it’s something.
FORTY
HARRIET
TWENTY-FIVE WEEKS PREGNANT
Walkinginto Morning Glory is always a treat to the senses.
