I glance at West. He’s sitting on his bed playing video games,The Canterbury Talesabandoned on the floor. We don’t spend much time at his apartment, but Amber’s dad is making repairs at the house, so we ended up here, hiding from West’sroommates and their intense game of Dungeons & Dragons at the kitchen table.
“What are you doing this weekend?” I ask. We have no classes on Monday, and West usually makes it a point to visit his girlfriend at cosmetology school in Scottsdale if he hasn’t seen her for a few weeks.
His expression is pained. “Gabbi’s visiting for the week. My mom wants me to come home and do the happy family thing…but I don’t know.”
“Is your dad still…?”
“An asshole? Yes.” He sighs and scrubs a hand through his hair. “She wants me to forgive him, but I don’t know if he deserves it.”
“Hmm.” I click through Bethany’s most recent photo album.
“You’re ruminating.”
“Only a little.”
“About what?”
I bite the inside of my cheek, trying to figure out how to word this without sounding like I am defending West’s stupid dad. “I guess I don’t think you forgive someone because they deserve it or they’ve earned it or something.”
“Then why would I do it?”
I shrug. “Because you love your mom. And you love him.”
After a pause, West says, “I don’t know if I do love him.”
My heart squeezes. “You don’t have to.”
“It’s not Gabbi’s fault, but I hate himmorewhen she’s around, because she deserves better than a cheating dad who flies her in once every few months and an older brother who doesn’t want to be around her. I lied and told her I was busy this weekend, so if you’re keeping score, I’m not exactly treating her any better than my dad is.”
“You’re nothing like him.”
“I’m trying not to be,” he mutters.
“It wouldn’t be a lie if you visit Bethany this weekend.” I’m careful to put the same amount of stress on each syllable, and as a result, I’ve been saying her name like a robot for two years now.
His eyes flick quickly away from mine. “Nah.”
Nah?He doesn’t know me at all if he thinks I’m going to be content with that answer.
“Is everything good with you two?”
He blinks in surprise, and I wonder if he thinks I haven’t noticed the way he’s been uncharacteristically sleeping in and missing classes or zoning out when we’re together. I’ll catch him looking at me with a strange expression, and it’s clear his mind is somewhere else entirely.
He dies on-screen. “Yeah, why?”
“No reason.” I close out of Facebook and pull my Word doc up. That’s enough internet stalking for me.
“Maybe I can convince my mom to bring Gabbi and the others down here this weekend,” he says.
“Gonna take them on a tour of Greek row?”
He tilts his head to the side. “Gabbi’s never been to Kartchner Caverns. She’d like that.”
“What is it?”
“An underground cave filled with limestone formations. You’ve never been?” When I shake my head, his eyes light up. “You should come with us. It’s pretty cool, and I doubt she’s seen anything like it on the East Coast.” He smiles for the first time all day, and my stomach tugs strangely while I watch him plan an afternoon for his sister. An afternoon he wants to include me in.
“What about you?” he asks, stretching out on his bed with his arms behind his head, a chewed pen cap appearing in his mouth from who knows where. His shirt pulls up, revealing a strip of skin above his boxers, and the room shrinks by half. “Do you have big plans for the long weekend?”
