“If I may, Your Goodness, see the Hands inside,” said Calren, who could have popped out of thin air in front of us for all I noticed. “They now need their rest.”
The Timekeeper didnotlook happy. In fact, if I were to trust my eyes, I’d say he was afraid. I’d say he was panicked, especially when his eyes darted from the queen to us, lightning fast.
The queen didn’t look happy, either, at what he said, but she nodded anyway and waved him on.
“Certainly, certainly. You’re the warden. You know best. Go!”
Butrestwas not what we needed now, was it?
I looked at the others as Calren bowed to the queen, and no one spoke a single word. No one looked like they understood what was happening or like they agreed with Calren. Wedid notneed rest.
Except whatever had happened to me inside those doors, whatever magic had taken my voice, it seemed to still have that effect on me even now. I’d gotten used to the idea of not having a voice so quickly that I didn’t even consider opening my lips to speak.
I just held onto the mask and I looked around—audience, screens, queens—and then a hand was on my shoulder, and Calren said, “Keep moving. I will guide you—just keep moving.”
And then, “You will all be just fine.”
I didn’t believe him for a second.
The way back to The Ever was a blur. I had no idea how my legs were holding me, how they were moving, but they did.
Calren spoke again as we went. We were being followed but I didn’t know by whom, and the others were there with me, too. Sound still reached me as if from far away. Something was wrong, yes, and something was missing, but my muscles were screaming in protest, too. The maids and butlers were in the hallway that was our dorm, and they took the masks from our hands. I gladly gave mine to Lida, and I realized Calren might have been right after all.
Because now I really did need rest. I really didn’t think I could continue to stand or walk or move for much longer.
Because now I had begun to hope that once I rested, onceI slept and I woke up again, everything would go back to normal. Whatever was missing wouldn’t be missing anymore. Whatever was wrong would be right as Time when my eyes opened the next day.
It wasn’t.
I wentthrough the motions of brushing my teeth and using the toilet and taking a bath—all the while Lida spoke, telling me about how much Sparetime had been gathered yesterday alone, how the people were more than happy with everything we’d done, how we’d danced, how we’d searched the memories.They’dsomehow known all along what we were seeing in our heads, too. The memories of the illusions, that was. Becausethosewere planted by the Hearts who’d made this game possible. They were all fake, not real memories, and so the audience had known what we saw. The information had been made public the second we entered the ballroom.
Everything had gone perfectly smoothly, Lida said.
Except ithadn’tbecause I still felt only half of who I had been, like a book that had been full yesterday but now had a handful of blank pages.
It hadn’t because there were two foreign memories in my head, memories that didn’t belong to me. Memories that belonged to March. I saw all he’d seen and felt all he’d felt—and how in the world could that ever be right?
I’d rested well enough. I’d slept for nine hours straight. My muscles no longer complained, and my senses worked asthey should again. Perfectly functional on the outside, but the damage within remained.
Then Lida told me that Calren would be waiting for us in the eating hall for breakfast, and she left. Smiling, her eyes glistening. Happy. So unbelievably happy—and what for?
Part of me didn’t want to walk out of my room at all. Part of me wanted to hide under the blanket until I stopped feelinglike this, but I also wanted to see the others. I wanted to see March. I wanted to talk to Calren.
So, I opened the door and I stepped outside.
Cook, Silas, Seth, Mimi, and Anika were standing there by their doors. Not moving out or in. Waiting.
I waited, too.
Reggie came out next. Then March. Then all the others.
A heartbeat, and we were all standing in the hallway in front of our doors, looking at one another. Searching each other with our eyes.
“We can speak again.” Mimi.
Russ nodded. “It’s over. The first trial is over.”
“But the real game has only just begun.” Seth.
