Or maybe I was—but I still had to figure it out myself.
But March said, “I think you’re afraid Iwon’t.” I stopped. My mouth clamped shut. “I think you’re afraid that I’ll see you, and then I’ll want you anyway.”
Stabs at my gut and my chest and my head.
I turned around to leave. The audacity on this guy—the audacity!
That was it, I was never spending another second in his presence again.
Except… “Oh, you don’t get to walk awaynow.”
There he was, like a fucking wall in front of me, moving faster than I could even see.
Time’s Temper, I was going to burst into flames any second.
I forced a bitter smile on my face, pressed my finger to his chest. “You think just because you went down on me that you have me all figured out, Heartling?Grow. Up.” I filled each word with all the venom they could carry—and he still wasn’t as affected as I’d have liked.
Very bad for my ego.
“No,” March said. “But I know what a person looks like when they’re running, even when they’re standing still. Even when they have all the right comebacks and excuses—like you do.”
“It’s notexcuses,” I hissed. “I am not running!”
But I was.
He smiled, shook his head, rubbed his face, as frustrated as I was.
Except we kept switching roles so quickly I was having trouble keeping up.
“You know what I’dneverdo?” He waited a heartbeat, but not for my answer. Just to look into my eyes. “I’d never cross anyone’s boundary. So say the word, Ora. Say you want me or say you don’t. Make up your mind—but you’re either all in, or you’re not. I won’t accept something in between.”
“Don’t tell me what to think or feel or do,” I said, only because my mind was buzzing, and words and arguments kept escaping me, slipping right between my fingers.
“Thentell me.” He came even closer, so close the tips of our noses touched. So close I could count the vibrant shades of red and brown in his eyes if he’d let me. “Say it. Look me in the eye, and tell me you don’t want me.”
My mouth opened—I DON’T!
Time’s Teeth, I wanted to say it, shout it,screamit at the top of my lungs for all the realm to hear.
I didn’t.
“Exactly,” the asshole said.
Then he turned around and walked away.
28
“Your Chronal Highnesses, ladies and gentlemen of the Clockrealm, and our dearest, dearest Hands—welcome to the third Turning Trial!”
Johnny’s voice must have been made in some sort of a twisted, broken device. It slid down the inside of my mind like nails on glass, and even though my eyes were closed and I was focused on my breathing, I stillsawhim in my mind’s eye. I still saw his face, his wide eyes, heard his voice that was just as annoying as the device that carried it.
The third trial.
We were already at the beginning of the third trial, and who knew what awaited us in there this time?
Too soon-too soon-too soon,yet to some parts of me it wasn’t soon enough.
We were at the arena again, not in the forest. We were surrounded by the tiered seats full of people—morepeople than last time, if I wasn’t mistaken. Lida had told me while she helped me put my suit on—brand new, though she insisted it was the old one, just washed—that we werebecoming quite popular with how effectively we’d won the first and second games.
