It’s what Eddie would have done; they reallyweredifferent, weren’t they?
We both started to say something but paused to listen to Velvet talking enthusiastically over the sound system: “Hello, Cleveland!”
“Mother of Mary,” I mumbled.
Fen just laughed. “Cocaine… it’s a hell of a drug.”
“Not funny,” I said.
“Oh, it’s definitely funny. She’s fine. But she needs to stay away from certain people up here, or she’s going to develop a nasty habit. One reason my dad wanted Eddie to take a nice, long trip out of the country.”
He was implying what Ithoughthe was implying—right? Inside, I was freaking out, but all I could do was stare at him. If I asked about Eddie, I sounded like I didn’t know anything about my own boyfriend. If Ididn’task, then I’d be in the dark.
Fen calmly stuck his hands in the pockets of his jeans. “You wanna get lunch? All these grilled meat smells are making me hungry. Wonder if they have fish? Besides, Tell & Show is about to go onstage, and I know they’re darlings of the new scene—the Sound, or whatever everyone’s calling it. But they sound like a cavity removal by a dentist in a clown costume.”
Crap. “Tell & Show? I forgot to tell Velvet to vote for thatband. Eddie made me promise to tell her. He said your dad wants them to win or something?”
Fen made a retching noise. “Ofcoursemy dad’s trying to rig the contest. What a complete bastard. Do what you’d like, but that’s cheating. And Eddie’s only following orders, so you’d be following his orders. Why would you do that?”
“Why would I do whatyouask?”
“I’m not asking you to do anything. I’m just challenging you to think for yourself. You don’t work for me; you don’t date me. We barely know each other. You don’t owe me shit.”
“Right, just my life—savior.”
“Oh,that. Pfft. Anyone could have done it. I’m no hero.”
I think he was teasing. Or maybe being a little self-effacing. His smile was barely there, but fireworks erupted behind his eyes.
“For real, do you want to have lunch, though?” he asked. “It’s Mr. Hernandez’s food trucks. He makes the best tacos in town and his fries are craveable.”
“I actually am starving,” I admitted. Starving and at my wit’s end. “Really thirsty.”
“Then fuck all this noise and come with me.” He motioned with his head and upper torso, urging me away from the greenroom.
This was probably the Mistake of All Mistakes. But I joined him.
Track [12] “What If”/Frankie Cosmos
Jane
We snaked through the crowdas Tell & Show’s twangy dual guitars began playing—soon joined by a peppy vocalist who was trying too hard—and stood in a short line at one of the food trucks. We walked away with a big plate of fries covered in cheese and carne asada, a couple of pineapple aguas frescas… and a packet of Tylenol Fen had talked his way into from one of the cooks when I complained that my eye was hurting where I had run into him earlier.
Velvet was still on the judges’ stand. She’d be up there for both sets, Fen informed me as we walked our food behind one of the mission buildings to a private break area for workers that was away from the music. Not totally quiet, but it had a peekaboo view of the lake between a break in some trees. We sat next to each other at a picnic table looking out at it.
I downed half the pineapple water with the packet of Tylenol.
“Shit,” he mumbled. “You okay?”
“Heat. And stress.”
“Ah.” He handed me a plastic fork and got quiet as he ate, picking around the carne asada, but I didn’t ask him why. The longerwe sat together in silence, the more my brain raced through jumbled thoughts—about Velvet, and Fen’s latest bombshell about Eddie. How maybe he was only telling me bad stuff about Eddie because he was trying to tear Eddie down.
“The stress affects your injury?” he said out of the blue. When I looked at him from out of the sides of my eyes, he added, “I’ve been trying to figure it out since that first day you came in the shop. So I’ve been trying to research it. My friend Moonbeam said it could be a brain injury.”
He’s been talking to his friends about me? Good lord. “It’s aphasia.”
“That’s what I thought. Should’ve just told me. You need a T-shirt or a sign or something to tell people when you can’t remember words.”
