“We have guests,” she said.
I blinked for a second, taking a moment to return from Sappho’s ancient Greece to modern-day Wales, but once I had readjusted I jumped up. The library was where Lady Butler and Miss Ponsonby preferred to greet people, and I was monopolising a space that wasn’t mine to begin with.
“Oh! I’m so sorry; I can move. I’ll just—”
“They are here to see you,” she said, cutting me off. “And I would greatly advise that you speak with them, my dear. I have never seen two people so relieved to be assured of someone’s well-being.”
Darcy and Elizabeth. It had to be. No one else would come all this way. I hugged the book to my chest, unsure I was willing to lose everything I’d gained since arriving at Plas Newydd. I finally felt like I understood myself fully, like I truly deserved a happy ending, and I didn’t know if Darcy would try to talk me out of that.
“Did you write to him?” I asked, a bitter taste of betrayal on the back of my tongue.
“No, I promise you we did not. They both seem rather frantic to see you. I don’t doubt they have been looking for you from the moment you disappeared,” Lady Butler explained, and I believed her.
They had come all the way to Wales. They were looking for us. Surely it would be easier to let us disappear on our own if Darcy truly meant to disown me for my sins. I had to believe that wasn’t what this was.
“I have no reason to think this will go poorly,” Lady Butler said, “but you have my word that, if it does, you will not be alone. We will not see either of you suffer if your families cannot even manage begrudging financial support and nothing else.”
She swept me into a hug, her grip surprisingly strong for a woman who often took a cane with her when she left the house. Her powdered hair tickled my nose, but I still clung toher for several extra moments until I felt ready to face my brother.
“Shall I have them shown in?” she asked, stepping back to look at me. I didn’t even hide the fact I was hugging the volume of Sappho’s poetry to my chest.
“All right,” I said quietly, closing my eyes and nodding as I prepared myself for whatever was about to happen.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Mr. and Mrs. Darcy, miss,” Sioned said, introducing them with a curtsey as if this was a perfectly ordinary call.
Darcy and Elizabeth both stood in the doorway, staring at me as if they could not believe what their own eyes were showing them. It felt like years since I had seen them, so much so that it was startling for them to be looking exactly as they had when I’d left Longbourn House. I brushed my hands awkwardly over my skirts. Lady Butler has assured me she would fetch Kitty back from her usual walk, but until then, I was alone in this.
“Good afternoon,” I said weakly, unsure where else to begin.
My brother took three long strides across the room. For amoment I expected him to strike me like Lady Catherine had done for burning Kitty’s letter, but instead he pulled me into a hug, crushing me tightly in his arms. I just stood there, too surprised to return the gesture.
I tried to get the words out once Darcy had stepped away, but Elizabeth swiftly took his place, wrapping me up in her own embrace just as firmly. There were ten dozen questions filed away behind their eyes, but I began talking before they could start asking them. I’d decided what I was going to say only in the moments after Lady Butler had left the room.
“I would like the money Father left for me. I won’t… It will never be needed for a dowry, and I should like to have it. I plan to travel and shall need funds. You need not try to look for me.” My voice was shaking, and I had to hide my hands behind my back so their trembling was less evident. “I would also like your word that Emma will be provided with assistance in locating another position. She shouldn’t have to suffer because I ran away.”
Elizabeth and Darcy both looked at me like they were listening but not actually hearing. It was as if they’d seen a ghost, rather than a tired, unkempt seventeen-year-old girl with no idea what was about to become of the rest of her life.
“Are you all right?” Elizabeth asked. “We went to Rosings as soon as we heard you had left, and we spoke to Charlotte. She thought you might be here.”
“Yes, we are perfectly all right,” I assured her.
Underneath the tiredness and unkemptness, I felt more like myself than I had in a long time. Certainly I had not beenthis all right since I had left Longbourn. My nerves at having to stand before them both and wait for judgement would fade, and I would be left with a lifetime with Kitty, and nothing could be more right than that.
“We?” Elizabeth asked.
Her confusion made it clear they thought I was alone. If they’d left Pemberley as soon as they received word from Rosings, they would have missed any subsequent message from Longbourn. They didn’t even know Kitty had left home.
“Kitty is here,” I explained. “She is safe, I promise. Only out for a walk. They have gone to fetch her back.”
Elizabeth’s eyes went wide as she raced through several emotions in quick succession, from fear to worry to relief. Her experience with Lydia’s abscondence with the intention of marrying Wickham had no doubt left her practised in the art of sisterly concern.
Darcy opened his mouth but closed it before any words could come out, his teeth clicking together. I wasn’t sure if there was anger amongst the emotions in his eyes, all of them too muddled to tease apart. Once he did find the words, they rushed out in a series of questions, each one latching on to the coattails of the one before it.
“Why did you run? You cannot be serious in meaning to leave again? When will you return?”
Each one was a barely restrained demand, but I knew he wouldn’t like my true response to any of them. In an attempt to reduce his anger, I opted to answer only one.
