She puts a hand on Tegan’s arm before they cross the parking lot, stopping her. Then she reaches into the bag she has over her shoulder and holds out something to Tegan, a white bottle with an orange cap. Tegan shakes her head and starts walking again, but Jess tugs at the small backpack Tegan wears, stopping her. She shoves the bottle inside while Tegan stands impatiently.
It’s sunscreen, I think. She was remembering to give her sunscreen.
“Remember the conditions,” I tell Salem, keeping my voice quiet. It was important to Jess, last night, that we go over them. That we make sure the rules stay the same even when we’re not all together. It’s what she needs to keep this new plan for today safe for her and Tegan.
My boss sighs heavily. “Sure. Hugely unnatural conversation, all in service of one person’s demands.”
“There’s other things you can talk to Tegan about, besides her mother.”
As if I’m a real hero at conversation. As if I won’t feel that full body flush again as soon as Jess and I get in the van together, alone.
“And, we call each other if we find something.Beforewe do any further talking to anyone we might find.”
She clucks her tongue. “Whose story is this?” she says, a joking note in her voice.
Jess’s, I think.Tegan’s.
Not ours.
But that isn’t what she means.
“Youaredoing well, Hawk. I’m impressed. Of course, you know how I’d be evenmoreimpressed . . .”
She trails off meaningfully, raising her eyebrows, but I don’t respond. I know that half the reason she’s excited about splitting up today is that she thinks I’m doing it to get Jess to trust me more, to get her that much closer to talking. I still haven’t told her any different, haven’t told her that how I feel toward Jess isn’t good for getting her to talk.
“Good morning!” says Tegan, as she approaches us with a big, bright smile. You’d never know she spent most of yesterday sullen. She’s got that teenaged emotional elasticity that’s as exhausting as it is admirable.
Jess says nothing, but she does catch my eyes. No smile, but still, I think it’s a greeting.
From somewhere, Cope is telling me I’m wasted for this woman who probably has the power to get me fired. He’s right, again.
“So! Do we know where we’re going?” Tegan says.
Mindful of theWhose story is this?remark, I keep quiet and let Salem take over. She explains some of the research she managed to do in the van yesterday after we left MacSherry’s. There’re only two gift shops within twenty-five miles that have the wordseain the name, but ten years ago, there were more. We’ve made a plan to hit eleven shops total. We’ll ask around about shops that have closed, or changed names. We’ll add in some other shops with names that relate to water, just in case MacSherry was misremembering or misleading. We’ve got photos of Lynton and Charlotte ready to go. We’ve divvied up the map. We’re hoping we find something today, but if we don’t, the plan is to try tracking down Charlotte’s friend Julia tomorrow.
Tegan’s so excited it’s as if she’s had two of Salem’s coffees. When Salem says “Are you ready?” to her, she practically leaps out of her skin.
When they turn to walk away, Jess speaks for the first time this morning. “Teeg.”
Her sister pauses, only halfway turns around.
“Just . . . you know. Be careful.”
Tegan waves a dismissive hand and turns away again, and I tighten the muscles in the middle of my body automatically. As if I could take this punch for the woman standing next to me. I watch as Jess tracks Tegan and Salem. When they duck into the rental, closing their doors, I can see that she’s stricken. She wants to change her mind about this whole thing.
When she looks over at me, part of me expects that there’ll be something harsh, judgmental in her eyes. AWhy did I let you talk me into this?look. I expect I’ll be getting it from her all day.
Instead, her expression is soft, a little sheepish. I want to remind her of what I said last night: that Tegan is smart and confident. That Jess taught her well.
Right now, though, she probably doesn’t remember any of that. She probably only remembers what came after, me selling her on this idea she’s still not sure about.
But as it turns out, I’m wrong about what she remembers. She sets her hands on her hips and looks me over, painting me with the warmth of a concerned gaze I’ve only ever seen her offer to her sister.
Then, she holds out one hand and says, “How about you let me drive today?”
* * *
SHE’Sdifferent without Tegan and Salem around.
