Oh. Well. She took a deep breath, unaccustomed to pleading with anyone for anything. “Please—”
“No.” His fingertips covered her mouth, silencing her. His eyes had warmed. “I didn’t tell you to come find me because I wanted to see you humbled, but because I wanted us both to be certain of your decision. I don’t want you to beg. You should never beg. Yes. Yes, I could love you.”
“Ah.” Some women might appreciate a lengthy declaration, but not her. Not now, when she’d waited so long. Relief made her lightheaded. “I— Why?”
“Why would I love you?”
“Yes.”
“What kind of question is that?” His thumb brushed under her eye, collecting moisture she hadn’t wanted to escape.
She sniffed, mildly horrified at how pitiful she probably appeared. More pitiful when she bleated out her next words. “People don’t love me.”
“Bullshit,” came his instantaneous, mild response. Another pass beneath her eye to catch a stray tear. “All those people at that party? Your employees? What about them?”
“They’re friends.”
“They’re friends who would jump off a cliff if you asked it of them.”
“It’s not the same.” Unable to meet his gaze, she looked down at her hands, which were bandaged far more extensively than a couple of scrapes warranted. “It’s not the way you love your family completely, entirely. No one’s ever loved me like that, except my grandma.”
“Because your parents were sociopaths,” he stated. “Not your fault.”
Happiness threatened to explode within her, but she couldn’t let his blind defense of her stand. “My father might be a sociopath, but my mother wasn’t. She loved people. She was capable of it. She loved you and your father and your siblings.” She bit her lip. “A couple of years ago, she told me my dad manipulated her into having me, that she didn’t want me at all.”
His hands framed her face, cradling it. “Then you understand that it was nothing you did.”
“No!” Akira shook her head, no longer able to stop the tears from actively coursing down her face. She brushed them aside impatiently. “She’d tried to feel something for me, and it was impossible. I could have tried harder. Don’t you understand? I could have behaved, and she would have given me—” She hiccupped, completing her utterly pathetic image. “And now she’s dead. She won’t ever love me.”
“She would never have loved you. No matter what you did.” His words were brutal, making her lurch forward in pain. “Let me tell you about your mother. Yes, she could love people, and yes, she could be kind. She could be overwhelmingly kind. But she was also the most stubborn, inflexible, and occasionally cruel person I have ever met in my life. I don’t know what sick game she was playing with you—maybe she really did convince herself that you were at fault—but I guarantee you that it was just that, a game. You could have worn the right clothes and said the right things and done everything she ever wanted you to do, and if she decided from the moment you were conceived she despised you, then there was nothing that would change her mind.” Jacob took a deep breath. “She was wrong. I’m ashamed I didn’t realize before how wrong she was. I’m sorry I made it worse. I will spend the rest of my life telling you that. She was wrong. And ultimately…” His lips pressed against hers in a featherlight kiss. “You know what?”
“What?”
“It’s her fucking loss.”
Maybe it was her watery vision, but in that moment, with the setting sun casting a halo around him and his stern expression, he looked like an avenging warrior. Or an angel. Or a warrior angel.
“I don’t want to hurt you,” she whispered. “I’m not the type of woman you should have.”
His laugh was low and deep. “Ah, Akira. You really need to stop separating women into types.”
“I’m serious. You should have someone sweet and kind and gentle.”
“Whereas you’re mean and abrasive and sarcastic.”
“I am.”
“Yeah, you are,” he agreed, slightly offending her with the quickness of his reply. “But that doesn’t mean you can’t be sweet and kind and gentle. One quality doesn’t cancel out the rest.” He settled his forehead against hers. “I want you, not some faceless ideal. I want you in my family.”
The words both thrilled and terrified her. “I don’t know how to be a part of a family.”
“Yeah, and all I have is my family.” His eyes were patient. “I’d say we’re pretty perfect for each other, then, don’t you think? Lots of things we could teach each other.”
Her limbs were shaking. She had come this far with the intention of reclaiming what she had thrown away, but she hadn’t really been convinced it would happen. Now that it was…
“I’m tired of being a father and a brother, Akira. Help me be a man.”
Her mind calmed, everything sharpening into crystal-clear focus. Silly man. Didn’t he get it? He didn’t need to plead. He’d titillated her from the second he’d frowned at her, ruined her the moment he’d wrapped his arms around her, and devastated her by handing her a perfectly formed rose.
