“It’s just occurred to me that you always introduce yourself as Belt, but you’re an opera singer.”
“Yes.” He is absolutely deadpan. “That’s the joke.”
“You ask everyone to call you Belt Sander and the joke is that you’re an opera singer?”
“A name can be funny on multiple axes.” Belt exudes a Daniel-like innocent insistence. “Besides, that’s not how I bill myself. If you recall, my professional name is Samuel Sander.”
“Oh my god.” Ellie resists the urge to bury her face in her hands at his nickname’s wordplay. “You two deserve each other.”
“Yeah, we do.” He grins. “I kind of realized that when, for my birthday, he made me a cake that was canned spiced pork interleaved between layers of roasted onions.”
It takes a second but Ellie gets it. Her jaw drops. Belt positively glows.
“Oh no.” She’s not sure why she’s so appalled. The pun, a food-based one no less, is totally on-brand for Daniel.
“Oh yes. Say it.”
“He made you spam in allium?” Ellie arches an eyebrow at theplay on the Tallis motetSpem in alium. “He was a wrapped scallion for Halloween once so—”
“Tell me you have pictures.”
“Sure. Gimme a sec.”
Ellie goes to the living room. She pulls her cell phone out of her roller bag’s front pocket. The phone unlocks with a glance. She swipes through until she finds the photo. A book, labeledLa Cenerentola, and slightly the worse for wear, sits on the coffee table. She takes that back with her along with the cell phone.
She hands Belt both his score and the phone. A smile grows on his face as he takes in the picture. It turns out hiding Daniel’s legs in a high-waisted, floor-length pleated skirt focuses all your attention on his massive upper torso. So, if he’s wearing a wig of spiky white hair, the shirt is white, the skirt has an ombre from white to green, and he’s covered in clingy, tight plastic wrap, the result is more bulbous than your typical scallion but there’s no wordplay to groan at if you call him a wrapped spring onion. The eye mask on his face and the foil scabbarded at his waist make him a suitably scoundrel-like wrapped scallion.
“Oh my god, this is perfect. If he still has the costume, maybe I can be some other sort of allium, a plumbing leek or something.”
“The spam in allium, did he cut it into forty parts?”
“Of course.” Belt looks amused she would even ask. He hands back the cell phone. “Gotta commit to the bit.”
His eyebrows rise in shock. His face twists into a scowl.
“How dare you run off like that?” Belt’s voice is low and rough. It’s lost its ring. “You made me look for you all morning.”
Chris. If Ellie were violent and if it weren’t Belt’s body, she would punch her into orbit around a distant star. The shame Ellie feels, though, takes the edge off the anger. Chris waylaying people has always been disturbing. Ellie doesn’t even know how she does it. She shouldn’t be more disturbed because Belt is the victim, but she is.
“Let him go.” Ellie points away, like she’s shooing a dog. “You don’t have to do this. You have my number. You can get a hold of me whenever you want. Send me a text like a normal person.”
She waves her cell phone at her. Standing up to Chris is much easier when it’s not Chris she’s standing up to. Maybe Ellie pulled off the stern glare. Maybe her tone was harsh enough. Maybe Chris had an appointment she’s late for. In any case, Belt’s body relaxes but a puzzled look spreads across his face.
Chris simply left. Ellie expected a few more rounds of argument and insults first.
“What the fuck was that?” The pitch is high and the ring is back in his voice but he’s also rubbing his throat. “Did someone take over my body? Is that even possible?”
“Yeah, my sister. She’s the only one I know who does that. It creeps the fuck out of me every time— Wait.” Ellie pores over him. “You know what happened.”
“Yeah, something went wrong in the skunkworks and, for once, I sensed it. Sure, I had to be the one it went wrong in, and I don’t want anyone to take over my body ever again, but I’ll take the win.” Belt grins. “This is like Daniel finally singing a healthy, well-supported G1. I have my hopes.”
Sensing bugs in the universe is a very verifier thing to do. That Belt did at least this once has more to do with him learning what Daniel knows how to teach than anything else. As for Chris, exploiting bugs in the universe is not what maintainers are supposed to do. Bugs are supposed to be reported and fixed.
“I’m sorry about my sister.” Ellie slides her phone into a pant pocket.
“It’s OK. No harm done.” He rubs his throat again. “Listen, this is kind of a personal question and you don’t have to answer it, but does your sister always gaslight you like that? Daniel said she kicked you out, not that you ran off.”
Ellie is caught short. A realization jolts through her. This isthe first time anyone else has heard Chris speak like that. Chris was the model daughter around Mom, and all Daniel has ever heard her say could be chalked up to passive-aggressiveness. Not that Ellie wants anyone else to be subjected to this, but having a witness tell you that Chris is gaslighting you is oddly comforting. But, this time, Chris sounded like she genuinely wanted to make sure Ellie was OK, albeit in her own very special way, and, once she knew, she left. Ellie tries to explain, but she stammers instead.
