“Oh yeah, about what?” Will preferred Scotty’s thoughts to his own at present.
“A line keeps running through my head. ‘So often we think we’ve reached an end, when really, we’ve only reached the middle.’ I’m hopin’ that’s right. I’m hoping this sickness is just the middle, and I’ve got a lot ahead of me.”
Will didn’t expect such wisdom from someone so young. “I am sure you are right.” His gaze traveled to the wall behind Scotty and then back to his eyes, which were drifting closed. Remembering how lonely the sick bay could feel, Will stayed beside Scotty until he was sure the boy was asleep.
Will’s walk back to his cabin was one of silence. At least the boy seemed like he was through the worst. Once inside his room, thoughts of Ann encroached on his mind. He glanced across the room to where the small Book of Mormon Ann had given him lay. He’d enjoyed the stories and the way it made God seem real and approachable. But now he resented the tome. It was her belief in this book, in this religion, that kept them apart. And her belief in the Prophet who translated it.
He lunged for it, ready to throw it against the wall. But once it was in his hands, he stilled.
The book had kept him up reading several nights. Itwascompelling. With his thumb he ruffled the pages and opened to where he had dog-eared the page.
Mosiah was the name of the book he’d just finished. His eyes scanned bits of text.Believe in God ... always retain in remembrance, the greatness of God, and your own nothingness.He had felt that keenly. Time and again onthis voyage, most recently as he swung by a rope over the edge of the ship, he knew he was nothing and God was everything.
But did he acknowledge God in all things now? He hurried to the next page, where his eyes caught again.There is no other name given whereby salvation cometh; therefore, I would that ye should take upon you the name of Christ.
This was what Ann was speaking of earlier. She had been baptized, and that had made the difference. He remembered the sincerity of when she explained that experience to him. Still, did it mean they couldn’t live their lives together?
He slammed the book shut and closed his eyes.
A pang of guilt hit him. He felt something when he read the book. Not just today, but several times before too.
Reluctantly, he opened it again. Lower down on the same page after the dog-ear, he saw a passage that had been marked with pencil.For how knoweth a man the master whom he has not served, and who is a stranger unto him, and is far from the thoughts and intents of his heart?
He skipped down to another marked passage.I would that ye should be steadfast and immovable, always abounding in good works, that Christ, the Lord God Omnipotent, may seal you his.
Ann was steadfast and immovable, that he knew. And she did abound with good works. He could not deny it, even if such conviction to her cause was keeping them apart.
He let his thumb pass over a few pages, and he opened to a well-worn spot he hadn’t yet read.
Now I say unto you, if this be the desire of your hearts, what have you against being baptized in the name of the Lord, as a witness before him that ye have entered into a covenant with him, that ye will serve him and keep his commandments, that he may pour out his Spirit more abundantly upon you?
His breath caught. It was like God himself was speaking to him, the words of the passage pricking his heart like no words ever had before.
Baptism would mean he was one of them. That he’d have to go with them. That God would be setting his course from now on.
He could also be with Ann.
He stopped.
He wouldn’t let his thoughts for her cloud such a decision.
He shook his head. He couldn’t give up his captaincy.
But he’d promised to find out if God was real, and he had received an answer that he could not deny. Was it possible God wanted more from him now that he believed?
He didn’t want to ask. But an overwhelming urging pushed him to his knees. With his hands clasped together, he offered the sincerest prayer of his life.
He would commit to whatever God told him to do, no matter how hard that was.
Oh God, help me to know Thy will.
With the force of a wave, Scotty’s words came back to him.So often we think we’ve reached an end when really we’ve only reached the middle.
Maybe his finite, temporal mind couldn’t see the rest of the story, but God could.
God didn’t just want him to believe—that wasn’t the end. God wanted him to be baptized, and this was only the middle of his journey.
Chapter 41
