WHAT’S A LITTLE MAKE-OUT SESSION BETWEEN FRIENDS?
DEAN
I am, understandably, distraught.
You would be, too, if you were teammates-slash-friends-slash-fake lovers with a beautiful girl who has a penchant for ignoring personal space and wants to spend every minute of the day together.
Alright. Listed out like that, it sounds like a dream scenario. The unfortunate reality is that this is just pretend. At least, for her it is. She said it herself—we’re teammates. That’s all; we’re only working together because of a common goal. We may as well be coworkers. Coworkers who need to pretend to be madly in love so they don’t get fired. This would be an HR nightmare.
I didn’t get much rest last night, both because of my distressing revelation and because of the rock under my back. We fell asleep stargazing and barely woke up in time to hurry back to camp, piles of blankets in our arms, before anybody realized we were gone.
Good thing today’s only a media day—my brain is too fried for a challenge. The professional photographers roll into camp, lugging big camera bags and equipment to shoot promo photos for the show.The hour in hair and makeup is painful, but not as painful as spending the whole morning getting my picture taken.
“Thefinal five,” Garrett says with bravado as the photographer poses us in the middle of camp. “Once the show starts airing, we’ll be pushing major promo around you kids. Isn’t that exciting?”
“This could help my chances of being scouted by a talent agent,” Vendredi mumbles through her smile.
“This could helpmychances of looking really, really cool,” Siddharth says, posing for the camera.
My eyes keep drifting to Seyoon the whole time. I’m fucked. Whyher, of all people? I mean, she’s my type to a T. And also way out of my league. Under different circumstances, I could stretch the limits of my imagination to conjure up a reality where Seyoon could maybe, potentially,possiblyreturn my feelings. But that’s not this reality. Because inthisone, she wants one thing and one thing only: to win.
It’s the most important thing to her. I know that.
I tear my gaze away before my chest starts panging again. My cheeks hurt from fake-smiling each time a flash goes off. This is exhausting. Being on TV is draining. I miss the library at school. I miss reading with my book-club friends. And reality-TV nights with Dad. And hanging out in Meredith’s room. Oh, ImissMeredith. She’s the only person I could talk to about—
Somebody elbows me. Seyoon. “Earth to Dean? They’re doing solo shots for Carter now.”
Everyone but me has exited the shot. Carter glares impatiently.
I scurry out of the way. Seyoon steers us away from the crowd of photographers and crew members to a quiet corner of the glade. The stylist did her hair nicely today. Loose waves cascade down her back,and her bangs frame her face perfectly. Either the heat or makeup paints a rosy glow on her cheeks.
She glances around and, satisfied that no one’s paying us attention, turns off her clip-on mic and gestures for me to do the same.
“Did you hear what Siddharth and Vendredi were talking about earlier? Before the group photos?”
I shake my head. My attention was otherwise preoccupied.
“They were talking aboutus,” she whispers. “Sidd thought it was weird we wouldn’t kiss yesterday when we made up on camera. Vendredi said wemightstill be together, though, because I didn’t take her up on her offer, but this isn’t good. They think our alliance is on the rocks.”
“Wait,” I stop her. “What offer?”
She stiffens. “Oh. After we… broke up last challenge, Vendredi asked me to join her and Beck’s alliance.”
My heart sinks. The noise of the crowd mutes to a dull hum.
“I didn’t take her up on it, obviously,” Seyoon hurries to say. “She was just being nice. She thought things were over between us.”
I must still be making a face, because Seyoon grabs my hand and squeezes it. “Dean.We’repartners.”
I know what she means, but my body tingles to hear her call us partners. It’s nice to imagine she means more.
Okay. Jesus. Less pathetic next time, please.
“Right. Yeah,” I say. “Well, it’s not good that our public apology wasn’t enough”
“You think? Come on, President Nerd, you’re the strategist here. How do we prove we’re not just back together but stronger than before?”
I look out on the horizon, thinking. The lake shimmers under the sun, blinding me.
