“By that point, I’d lost a part in a movie, and the headlines were slandering me constantly. I’d gone from the hottest actor in Hollywood to no producer even wanting to talk to me. I grew angrier and more frustrated, giving them even more fodder to share. And then I found acamera.”
My heart plummeted.
“I have a housekeeper, but he doesn’t clean my room.” He held up his hands. “Not in an obsessive way, but I enjoy doing it myself. I was dusting a painting on my bedroom wall and accidentally knocked it off. And I found a tiny camera hidden behindit.”
I gasped, and my hand shot to my mouth.
“I took the memory card, downloaded the footage, and saw Nancy positioning the camera, the pictures, and videos of…us. It all clicked then: the paparazzialwayscatching me, how the papers had pictures of things they could not have gotten. The next time she stayed over, I went through her phone. I found emails and messages to newspapers and journalists confirming what I’d discovered. I forwarded them to myself and got a lawyer.”
“What happened?”
“She obtained the paparazzi images and videos of us legally, so there wasn’t much he could do about those. They didn’t violate any privacy laws. The lawyer explained that in California, disclosure of private information could only lead to civil liability—so, monetary damages. Unlawful surveillance would mean criminal charges, depending on numerous factors. But they didn’t play in my favor.”
“Why not?”
“Her criminal record was squeaky clean. Only one camera washidden in the whole house; she hadn’t done anything with the videos yet. The list goeson.”
“Was it not worth trying anyway?”
He shrugged. “The damage was done by that point, and I was conscious of her kid. I couldn’t take away the child’s only parent. I wanted her out of my life and the whole thing to go away. So instead, I confronted her and got her to sign a legally binding document saying that she’d never have any involvement with me again.”
I shook my head in complete disbelief at his confession. I couldn’t comprehend my trust being broken like that.
“It was my fault partly. I was naive when I shouldn’t have been. I’d been in the industry long enough to know better.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. It wouldn’t matter if you’d been in the industry for sixty years; it still wouldn’t be your fault.”
He nodded slowly, a quiet sigh escaping him. His shoulders eased a fraction, and he glanced up, not guarded, just searching. “So, I don’t trust anyone anymore. And I promised myself that I wouldn’t change myself to be what someone else wanted me tobe.”
A deep ache settled in my chest at his words.
He must have read the expression on my face, because he added, “Don’t feel sorry for me, Matilda. I like living this way—I need the privacy. I’m happier knowing I won’t be put in that position again.”
He inhaled deeply and continued, “When we met, I knew you weren’t being honest. Your behavior reminded me of Nancy in so many ways, I instantly had my guard up. You were just so fucking nice to everyone. No one does that without an ulterior motive. I didn’t realize your motive was acceptance.”
I froze as his words echoed inside my head.
I didn’t realize your motive was acceptance.
“It’s not,” I argued, but it lacked conviction.
“I heard you on the phone with Lily, and it felt like it washappening all over again. So I retaliated.” He paused, looking directly into my eyes. “I’m sorry, Matilda. You were right. I should have asked you at the start.”
“I’m sorry, too. For what I said to Lily. It was cruel, and I didn’t meanit.”
His lips curved. “You meant it, and it’s fine. I was purposefully difficult; you were just being honest.”
I shook my head and started to disagree before he interrupted.
“I spoke to my mother this morning. And I don’t know how I didn’t recognize it before, but you remind me a lot of her, of how she used tobe.”
I attempted to school my face. Lucaneverspoke about his family.
“OK…”
“My father used to walk all over her.” He paused, taking a sip of his coffee. “She let everyone walk all over her. She’s my opposite. She’s soft, kind, and puts everyone else before herself. She used to do everything for everyone.”
My palms grew clammy, a knot tightening in my stomach. My mind raced, anticipating the words I dreaded to hear.
