Ihatedhow my body tingled under his appreciative gaze.
“This is the first time I’ve ever seen you speechless,” he said, breaking the silence.
I released a huff of disbelieving laughter, wholly gobsmacked that he was standing at my door.
“What are you doing here?” Ignoring his comment, I aimed for an edgy, defiant tone, but it sounded feeble, even to my ears.
“I brought you a coffee and a croissant.”
Shocked by his uninvited presence, I hadn’t even noticed what he was holding: a drinks tray with two Vinnie’s cups, and a pastrybag.
Resisting the urge to just accept the goods and the apology, I reminded myself that he’d specifically asked me to be honest withhim.
“Why?” I crossed my arms. His eyes flickered down, and his Adam’s apple bobbed.
“To apologize. I was an asshole last night.” It was my turn to swallow. He might have stood me up, but I had some apologizing to do,too.
“You drove all the way to Vinnie’s to get the coffee?” I gestured to the two cups and pastry bag he held.
He nodded and held out a coffee cup. “A mocha with extra cream.” Pausing, he looked away momentarily and muttered, “And marshmallows.”
“Vinnie’s doesn’t do marshmallows.”
“I know. I bought them from the store.” Baffled, I gingerly accepted the coffee from him. He avoided my gaze.
“You went to the shop separately to buy marshmallows and add them on top?” I couldn’t hide the warm lilt in my voice at his thoughtfulness.
“I’m just tired of hearing you moan about how Vinnie’s mocha would be better with them.” He shifted his weight from one foot to the other, looking entirely bored—even if his words told me otherwise.
My lips curved into a slow, tentative smile, the gesture warming something in me which had been left bitter and cold since our argument.
“Can I comein?”
When I’d texted him earlier saying that I didn’t want to see him, I was being honest. But now that he was there, it made sense to resolve our argument. We still had to see each other for the next few weeks.
Stepping back, I waved him into my apartment.
He strolled in, removed his shoes, and approached my living space. It was such a mundane act that it startled me. Seeing him inside my tiny apartment was weird. His bedroom was probably the size of my entire place.
I motioned to the sofa. Luca slid the pastry bag over the coffeetable like a bargaining chip in a negotiation. My lips quirked upward.
“I wanted to apologize. I was angry and out of order yesterday,” he started, holding my gaze.
I started to open my mouth in response, hesitating. I wanted to accept the apology and move on. I didn’t want to deal with the inevitable discomfort a conversation would bring.
“Don’t accept my apology yet, Matilda,” he said, reading my mind. He rubbed his palms across his jean-clad legs and continued, “I don’t trust anyone anymore. It’s not personal to you. I keep everyone at a distance for a reason.” He inhaled as if preparing himself.
“Six years ago, I dated a woman named Nancy. It started casually, nothing more than sex. But she started hanging around more, and I liked her company. She didn’t have social media, wasn’t obsessed with fame. She worked in real estate, but nothing fancy. She was a single parent to a little girl.”
I didn’t dare move or speak. He hadneverspoken so many words to me at once, and I didn’t want to spookhim.
“Nancy and I had been dating for about a year when the paparazzi started turning up even more than normal, catching us in compromising positions.”
“Like what?” I whispered.
“They caught a fight in a club; some sleazebag had been grabbing Nancy and wouldn’t leave her alone. I didn’t know then, but she’d orchestrated it and told the paparazzi we’d be there. The papers had gotten hold of a picture of us taking drugs at a party, which she’d sent to them. I don’t even remember arriving at the party; I was so drunk. You name it, she managed to get it on camera and somehow sell it to the press.
“I’m not excusing my behavior, because Ichoseto do those things, even if she choreographed them…” He trailed off, runninga hand through his hair and gripping his neck. “But she had kept saying these things, like how I was being boring, or not protective enough, how I didn’tgether anymore, and I guess over time it got into my head. And I just thought, maybe if I went along with it, if I acted the way she wanted, things would get better betweenus.
