“Great party, huh? Was it everything you’d hoped it would be?” Kairos’ voice is somehow calm though the storm raging above us tells me otherwise.
His eyes spark with electricity, the green fading behind the strikes of blue that dance and sway within them. His palms flex at his sides, the same power dancing across his fingertips in waves. The sky lights up in the same moments the power around him does. He’s like a bolt of lightning himself right now, and one roar or growl of anger might set the entire world on fire.
I shrug my shoulders and say nothing, because what the hell is there to say? A wild, untamed kind of laughter bursts from my chest and I tip my head back and stare at the sky. The rain pounds against my face as thunder claps overhead, and it burns my cheeks like tiny lashes whipping harder and harder. I can’t help but feel like I deserve it. Whatever pain may come is warranted after what I said to him. After how badly I hurt him.
“Oh, it was magnificent.” Gathering my now heavy, rain-soaked dress in one hand, I tug off my heals and toss them aside then stand and face him. “My favorite part was discovering you’d been keeping things from me about not only my past, but my future as well. We were basically almost married!? And I’m to be a queen of a realm that I don’t feel I even belong to?” I let my false anger soar across the forest and dagger him with guilt, knowing I should stop but that I can’t. Not if I want him to let me leave. Not if I want to keep him safe. “You act like you’re so perfect but you’re not. You’re a liar.” Shaking my head, I charge toward him, shoving at his chest.
It's cruel what I’m doing to him, and I know it, but I’ll deal with the guilt later. I know what I feel for him. Maybe it is fate. Or maybe it’s because of the way he looks at me or the kindness he’s shown or the way his heart beats only for me. It doesn’t matter now. I’m not letting Nyx take anything else from him. He has to believe I’m done. I need my amulet and my memories and to prevent any more harm coming to the ones I love. I need to kill Nyx myself. This is for his sake, and it’s the only way I can protect him.
“Nora, please. Calm down. I’m sorry I lied. I understand why you’re so angry.” He doesn’t move, his jaw clenching and unclenching as he tries and fails to force himself to calm down, the storm and rain letting up only slightly.
He’s still as a statue as I push him again, unmoving and unbothered as I beat my hands weakly against his chest, sobbing so hard my throat burns. The sobs are real. So is the pain that tears my heart in two for reacting this way, knowing he deserves better. I’m calling him a liar while lying about something that might never be forgiven. I’m telling him I don’t want him when the truth is, all I can ever think about anymore is how much I want him. If things were different, if a dark queen who ruined our lives once before wasn’t haunting me, Kairos and I could be amazing together. Even without my memories I can feel it.
Wrapping his arms around me, he holds me tight against his chest, running his warm fingers through my tangled, soaking wet hair. The sobs don’t quit, pushing out of me in endless waves as I force myself to remember everything I’ve been through in the past year. All the pain that was caused by Nyx. All the dark nights that would have never happened if it wasn’t for her. My parents who would still be alive. I need this to be over.
“I want to go home, Kairos,” I whisper against him, pushing off his chest and turning away. “I can’t do this anymore.”
He grabs my hand and pulls me back to face him, our wet bodies slamming into each other as his eyes burn into mine brighter than the lightning that strikes around him. “You’re upset and I get it. I can’t imagine how it must feel for others to know things about your life that you can’t remember.” His hands slide up my arms then he pulls me even closer. “I can’t let you leave, Nora. I’d never forgive myself if something happened to you.” Tilting my chin up in his gentle, forgiving way, he shakes his head. “It's not an option.”
I’m trying to avoid hurting him in the worst way I can think of, avoiding breaking his heart and my own in the process, but this isn’t fucking working.
“I can’t be with you, Kairos. I won’t.” I sniffle, gripping his hand and removing it from my chin. “My heart belongs to someone else already and you knew it and still brought me here. I miss him,” I whisper, my voice shaking as I fight off another sob. “I love Ere. He loves me. You should just let me go.” My eyes are begging, pleading for him to listen, to let it go and let me go but still, he refuses to accept that I don’t want him.
Shaking his head, he wraps a thick hand around the nape of my neck and the other around my waist, leaning down and pulling me closer. “You’re lying,” he growls. “Admit it. You’ve wanted me since the day you met me. Maybe you’re too afraid to admit it to yourself, but I feel it, Nora. I will not give up on us, ever.” Lightning flashes within his eyes as he whispers, “I will not let you go, my flame. We promised. You promised me forever.” His lips tremble and his voice cracks, and my heart cracks with it.
As he gazes at me like I’m his everything, his eyes full of tears and pain, the rain shifts to a torrential downpour again and my body is a weightless puddle of need. Gods, I want him. My entire body and soul are crying out for him, screaming at me to let him in, to let him show me why I should stay. I’m frozen, my heart thundering louder than his power that roars above us, and though I know nothing of the promises past me made, all I want is for him to kiss me.
He locks my hair between his fingers, shakes his head and mutters “fuck it,” then softly brushes his lips against mine, just a gentle stroke up and nothing else, but it’s enough to set my entire soul on fire.
It’s all it takes for me to lose control. To forget all about my plan. To not care anymore about anything but feeling his lips on mine again. I grip his neck and pull him to me, our lips crashing together like fire and gasoline meeting for the first time, willing to burn it all down together. His lips taste like promises and hope and forgotten love, all reacquainted after a century apart. His tongue brushes against mine firmly and hungrily like he’s been waiting for me his whole life. Like he’s been tortured and dying without me, barely fucking hanging on without me.
He savors my mouth on his, refusing to let me go as I grip his hair in my hands tighter to keep myself steady. I should let go. I should push him away. But my heart begs me to hold on just a little longer, to not fight my feelings. Tightening his hold on my hair, he somehow pulls me even closer, deepening our kiss until I can barely breathe, but I don’t want to breathe. I don’t need oxygen when Kairos is near. I need nothing.
Because Kairos…He is everything.
We couldn’t have stopped this even if we tried, this kiss feels like fate and destiny pushing us together at last. It was always meant to be. I link my arms tightly around his neck and he grips my thighs, pulling me off the ground. My legs settle around his waist and then we’re moving, my back pressed roughly against a tree as his hand shields the back of my head and keeps my lips from leaving his. Rain slides down our faces, soaking our hair and our already slick skin, lightning flashing across the sky in brilliant streaks.
All that matters now is him and I, and darkness or death or anything else that might try to work against us, be damned, because none of it could stand a chance with us together.
He moans softly into my mouth, a deep grumble of satisfaction. I grip him tighter, my thighs trembling as a heated flood of arousal scorches me to my core. Placing his hands on the sides of my face and using the weight of his body to keep me against the tree and to prevent me from falling, the rough strokes of his tongue slow to soft, sensual, somehow even more torturous ones. I completely melt away. I am one with the rain and the storm now, nothing except his lips and mine exist. Slowly pulling his mouth away from mine, he exhales breathlessly as he looks at me and smiles. He kisses me again. This kiss is soft. Gentle. Meaningful. It ends too soon. I need more of him before I combust from the inside out.
I place my hand on his chest, his heart thudding against my palm just as fast as mine beats now. He leans his forehead against mine and closes his eyes. I lean against him, eyes closed too as we enjoy this moment and give our lungs and hearts time to recover. I feel the smile on his lips without having to look, the heat from his mouth brushing against me as his lips part so close to mine. I never want this moment to end. His eyes gleam with happiness, a look of pure peace settling across his features. It’s a look I’ve never seen him give anyone before.
It’s a look just for me.
Reaching up, I wipe rain away from his eyes and giggle as he shakes his head back and forth, splashing me with the water that clings to his thick hair. I slap his shoulder playfully and he laughs, wrapping his arms around my waist and laying his head against my chest, squeezing me and holding me against him as if he’s the happiest immortal man in the world.
Then he looks at me, all laughter gone and the playfulness drained from his eyes. “Tell me you don’t feel what I do. You’d be lying to us both, and you know it. This is fate.” His whispered words and the gentle, caring way he brushes rain off my cheeks with the back of his thumbs snaps me back to the truth.
The truth of what I have to do. Now more than I ever, I want to keep him safe. I want him to live. I want him to never have to hurt or suffer again. I unclamp my legs from around him and he helps lower me to the ground. Gripping his arms, I force him to let go of me as I back away, shaking my head.
“This isn’t what I want. I’m sorry. This was a mistake.” I swallow, my vision blurring as tears make their way back in.
“Why are you doing this?” His pained voice is barely audible and his shoulders droop as lightning strikes the ground behind him. Even the bolt is weak, no energy left to fight.
I think I’ve broken him. As much as it kills me to see, this is what I wanted. For him to give up, to let me go, to see that we aren’t meant to be or that it isn’t worth it, no matter how much it hurts us both.
The flutter of wings is followed by Mio dropping to the ground in a crouch behind Kairos, glancing first at me and then at him. He stands upright, tucking his wings in tight behind him. “I wanted to check on you. Everyone is worried. You guys okay?” He smiles nervously, just a quick curve of his lip before stepping up and standing between us.
