It haunts me, the thought of being so close to having her heart and soul intwine with mine, so close to having every godsdamn thing I’d ever wanted, and then having it all ripped away by Nyx right before it was done. If my mother hadn’t forbidden any of us from returning to the Underworld, I’d have already ripped Nyx’s flesh from her bones and happily tossed it into the waiting, open jaws of her demons.
Until the Underworlds sky shines bright. Until celestial wings are neither black nor white. Until the realms are shattered and made anew, you belong to me, and I belong to you.
The promises we made to one another the day we fell to earth as I held her in my arms and watched her slip away…those words, those now forgotten promises, they endlessly fucking haunt me. Our promises were meant to be unbreakable, not even fate or time or death should have been able to tear us apart. Those were things we never thought would see the light of day, impossible to break if not real, so that our love and promises would live on forever.
“Red roses. Your favorite,” She breathes.
“I told you they hold a special meaning in my heart.” I pull her closer and she smiles. “Red roses are sacred to us. Our history claims that once only white roses existed. During the very first claiming ceremony when the first celestials were created, they were asked to seal their bond and prove their devotion to the gods who created them, and to prove their love to one another.” I gently lift her arms and place them around my neck, wrapping my own around her waist. “As they walked to the altar, white roses covered in thorns sprouted from the earth, and they were made to walk across them. The gods told them flying is prohibited during such a sacred ritual. Even to this day, we cannot fly at all on the day of a claiming ceremony.” I smile, leaning down and whispering in her ear, “wouldn’t want to piss of the gods, now would we?”
“You’re right. That sounds awful. It sounds sweet minus the thorns and the…bleeding.” She grimaces and we both laugh.
“The gods ask for an offering, and we must abide.” I shrug. “As they walked across the roses, their blood leaked onto their petals and spilled into the earth. The gods accepted their union and fated mates were created to continue our lineage. Now, every morning on the day of a claiming ceremony, red roses sprout from the earth, here in this very meadow where the ceremonies take place. We see it as a reminder that love is worth the pain that at times comes with it.” Bringing her hand to my lips, I place a soft kiss to the top of it, meeting her awestruck gaze. “Love will always be worth it.”
“That’s beautiful.” Tears well up in the corner of her eyes, and I grip her face, using my thumbs to gently brush them away the moment they begin to fall.
“Once upon a time, we were to claim each other that way. We nearly had before it all…”
Before it all went to shit. Before a battle began that we were so unprepared for that many of us died and the rest who fought were tossed out on our asses. My own eyes sting as I watch hers widen in understanding. The calm side-to-side swaying of our bodies stops as she brings our dance to an abrupt end.
She’s frozen, her fingers clutching my forearms as her eyes meet mine. “No.” She shakes her head. “Fate or gods don’t get to choose who I’m with. I do.”
“Nora,” I try to pull her closer, to bring her back into the moment with me, but she pushes me away. “We belong together. You are to be my queen when I step up as king. My mother doesn’t want to be queen, but a celestial king cannot rule without his queen beside him.” I sigh quietly, breathing in deep and gazing up at the starlight twinkling above us. Closing the distance she put between us, I take her hands in mine. “The hope of your return is all that has kept me going for a century. I know your soul recognizes me. You are mine and I am yours.” I pull my eyes away from hers, gazing down at our hands instead. “Tell me you don’t feel it, too. Say you don’t want me even a little bit and I’ll let it go.” A single tear slides down my cheek and her eyes follow the path it traces down my skin.
The thought of losing her all over again because she doesn’t choose me in this life, it fucking hurts. My throat burns as I feel the turmoil in her heart, see the hesitation in her eyes, the look beginning to rip and shred any hope I’d been clinging onto.
She shakes her head. “I can’t be your queen, Kairos. I can’t save your realm or your people because I have no power or light within me. You deserve better.” She begins to back away from me, and I step forward.
I refuse to let her run away from me or from the truth.
“You deserve so many things, but I can’t be the one to give them to you.” Her hands are in fists at her sides, her body trembling. “So no, Kairos, I don’t feel it,” she takes another step back, shaking her head. “Not even a little bit,” her whispered words float through the quiet air, slamming into my heart and letting what little hope I had left crumble to nothing. Tears flow down her cheeks and my heart and soul burn on the inside, dying to reach out and wrap her in light and love and hope or fucking anything, but she doesn’t want me.
She.
Does not.
Want me.
I fucked up. I fucked everything up.
She continues taking steps back, glancing at the celestials in the meadow who are all now thoroughly staring, her eyes more sad and empty than I’ve seen them before. This is hurting her, too. Whether or not she’ll admit it, I know it’s true.
“Nor, I’m sorry. This is a lot to take in, and I apologize for throwing it all on you at once. Maybe we should leave and speak about this away from the others.” I stand still, not wanting to reach for her or push her away even more than I’ve already managed to. She has to make this decision for herself.
She looks me up and down before speaking. “You talk about fate like I have no choice in any of this, but I do. I make decisions for myself, Kairos. It’s not up to you or fate,” she spits, turning her back to me and glancing over her shoulder. “I’m leaving. Without you. That’s what I’m choosing now.”
She heads out of the meadow, rushing quickly toward the woods and away from me. I follow behind her as whispers of giving up and fate being a lie echo from the celestials’ lips around me. I don’t give a fuck about anything they think or say, all I care about is banishing this soul sucking darkness from her mind and taking her home with me.
She glances over her shoulder one last time and then turns and runs without thinking about how pointless it is to run away from me. Does she truly think she can escape me? No. She just wants this to be over. This conversation and the situation with Nyx, but this is not over.
Not. Even. A little bit.
Chapter Twenty-Six
He Is Everything
NORA
A sudden torrential downpour of Kairos’ pain and anger blasts from the sky. My dress clings to my skin and my hair sticks to my tear-streaked cheeks as his unrestrained heartbreak drowns me. I don’t stop running. I can’t face any of this. I can’t face him after the hurtful lies I fed him. Mud and rain drip from me as my heels sink into a puddle and I tumble to the ground. I can do nothing but sob as the world around me spins. The look of complete devastation on Kairos’ face as I told him I felt nothing plays over and over in my head. I pull myself to my knees just as a twig snaps behind me, and I don’t bother turning to look. I don’t need to. Of course it’s him.
