Do not let your power lead you down a dark, winding path, for you may get lost and never find your way back.
There is no finding my way back from this.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Fated Truth
NORA
After meeting the Dark Legion three nights ago, I begged Kairos to let me stay inside with my nose in a book. He obliged, bringing me romance novels to choose from without even having to ask while refilling my glass with Saintly Rosé one too many times. The pink, glowing liquid helped to ease my dark thoughts after I gave up on reading, choosing to instead dance and sing on his dining room table, him sitting back and laughing the whole time. He refused to indulge with me, saying he would hate himself if something were to happen and he wasn’t at his sharpest to be able to protect me. Him being here is enough. His laughter mingling with my own, the sparkle in those eyes as he watches me make a fool of myself so thoroughly, that is more than enough, too.
Kairos helps suffocate the darkness as it seeps back in, refilling my soul and energy with much needed light.
Now, finally sober from my early day drinking, I’m propped up on my elbows on his bed, kicking my feet as I watch him. I don’t bother hiding my roaming eyes as I drink him in like a delicious, forbidden treat. Ere is forever etched into my heart as the one who can get lost in darkness with me, but Kairos has a way of making me believe that I’m more than just my darkness. He brings out the best in me. There’s no pretending to be happy or pretending I’m fine with him, I just am. I do miss Ere, but I don’t regret coming here. After all, he left me. Either way, guilt eats at me when I admit to myself that I have feelings for Kairos. I try not to. I try to resist, but I can’t deny that whatever I feel for Kairos is…special.
His crooked smile is proof he enjoys it when I watch as he whistles and saunters around the room in just a towel, plucking a black blazer off a hanger in the closet, then raising his eyebrows and winking at me. Yeah, he enjoys my watching a little too much.
“How fancy shmancy is this party? A blazer and slacks? Is this a royal ball? Should I wear my glass slippers so my prince can find me after I turn into a pumpkin at midnight?” I ask, resting my head in my hands.
Water from his recent shower trickles between his folded wings. The muscles in his back flex and tense as he gathers a button up shirt in his arms. For a moment I imagine how nice it would feel to be one of those water droplets, lucky enough to caress the whirls and swirls of his tattooed body.
He laughs and shakes his head. “I don’t believe that’s how the story goes, but no. Our realm doesn’t host many balls these days, not like we used to. There is no royalty here, not really.” He pauses, shifting his eyes to me briefly before quickly turning to face the closet. “Not at the moment, at least. My mother, Gaia, runs the realm for now, until proper rulers are ready to take over. She never wanted the position of Queen Regent, but has no choice. It was the gods wishes.”
Rolling off the bed, I walk to the small golden vanity in the corner of the room behind him, running my fingers along the cold, smooth edges. “Did there used to be? Kings and queens who ruled the celestial realms?”
I still have much to learn about the celestial realms, but what I have learned over the past couple of days breaks my heart. The wars that divided the celestials raged on for decades. All the blood spilled and lives lost was for nothing. The final battle against Nyx and her demons, where the celestials and even queen Gaia were shunned and banished after their white wings gave way to blackness, Kairos believes that the gods turned their backs on them. All of it because of me. He continues to remind me that it wasn’t because of me, but for me, but it hurts to know I was at the center of all this. It hurts more not to remember.
“Once upon a time, yes, there were kings and queens. That ended here when the division of realms happened. I know nothing of what they choose to do in the Realm of Light. They keep to themselves, and we have no way of entering our old home. We can’t portal in like we used to. They won’t allow us to.” He glances back at me. “My father allowed me in once. Only to tell me his plans on keeping us out. Said it was better that way.” He faces me, then his throat bobs and his jaw clenches, and I’ve learned by now that him doing those things means it’s not a subject he likes to discuss. “My parents, Gaia and…” his eyes glaze over and then they snap closed, like saying his father’s name hurts too much, “and Ourahnus, were going through a rough patch during the war. They disagreed on many things.” He huffs a laugh, meeting my eyes and shaking his head. “But refusing to even let his own son in. Refusing to see me. I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to forgive him for that. And my mother, well, she pretends to be okay, but she isn’t. She has not been herself in a long while. She is just as angry with him as I am, and the loneliness is more than she can bear. It kills me.”
In a way, he lost both of his parents because of a war I started against Nyx and the demons to try to escape her control over my mind and power. The list of reasons to feel guilty continues to grow.
“Kairos, I’m so sorry.” I fight back tears, staring down at the black and gold marble imagining how happy they might all be if Kairos and the others were still in the Realm of Light. “Things could have been so different. You and your people could still be home with your father if it weren’t for me. I hate that things ended this way for you.”
And now I must face them. All of them. The entire realm will be at this party to welcome me home. To welcome Hemera home. The divine one. Their savior. From what it sounds like, I didn’t save anyone. Not even myself.
He tosses his clothes on the dresser and then looks at me. “Nora, this, the Realm of Darkness, is our home. We accepted it long ago and we’re thankful for what you’ve given us. We would be nothing without your power creating this realm the day we fell.” He slowly walks toward me, but I refuse to meet his gaze, then he gently lifts my chin and forces me to look at him. “We would do it all over again if necessary. Her getting to you means we’re dead, anyway. She won’t stop until we all are. She will use your power to shatter every realm. At least with you we stand a chance of fighting against her.”
“I’ll only be helpful if I can remember how to wield my power. If I can remember anything about my past. I need my memories, Kairos. Without them I won’t be any help to you or your people.” I pull away, standing and then taking a seat on the edge of the bed facing him. “Nora won’t be able to help you if Nyx attacks you here. Nora?—”
Needs to die. I don’t say it out loud, but the moment the thought enters my mind I know it’s true. I’m human. A helpless, powerless human doesn’t belong in a world full of celestials, monsters, and gods with high stakes and lives on the line. Ere could’ve died that night in the alley when the demons attacked. Olivia might be next. And Kairos? He has lost too much already. He told me death will bring my immortal form, and once immortal, I can go to the Underworld myself and get my memories back. I’ll no longer fear Nyx’s demons or even her any longer. I can find a way to save us all without dragging anyone down with me.
Kairos sighs quietly and sits beside me, the damp towel still wrapped around his waist pressed against my skin. “You have no idea how badly I want you to have your memories back. Selfishly, it’s what I want more than anything. For you to remember me.” He looks up as if he’s praying to the gods for help, then his shoulders sag. “But for now, keeping you mortal without power for Nyx to control is safest for everyone. Until the gods decide it’s your time to go, I’m not letting you die. We’ll get your amulet back one day. I’d try to find it myself, but my priority is keeping you safe. I can’t leave you. I won’t. If I’m away from you, she’ll see it as an opportunity to attack and I’ll lose you anyway.”
He shouldn’t be the one who has to go and get it back. He doesn’t need to risk his life or anyone else’s. It should be me. I need to be the one to do it. I can make all this right.
“I don’t want you to leave,” I whisper, standing and glancing over my shoulder as I make my way back to the vanity. Taking a seat on the stool, I stare at his reflection in the mirror. “I need you to stay, Kairos. Your realm needs you here. So do I.”
It’s true. I need him here so I can find a way to Nyx myself. He’ll never let me go without him, but I have to find a way. I’m not risking anyone’s life except my own, and I don’t believe she’ll kill me, not once I’m immortal, anyway. She needs me alive if she wants to use my power. If I give myself up willingly, I’ll not only protect Kairos, but everyone else I care about too. To me, this is the only option that makes sense anymore. I can’t hide forever. With my immortality comes my power and if I’m as powerful as everyone believes I am…maybe I can kill her. I want it done. I want this all to be over.
I busy myself with pulling the vanity drawer open and lining up make-up in a neat row, make-up that unfortunately I have to figure out how to use without Olivia here to help.
Holding his clothes to his chest, he stands, smiling down at me. “All I want is to keep you safe, Nora. I need you to stay, too.” His gaze lingers on my back as he steps into the bathroom, the door clicking closed behind him.
As soon as the door shuts, tears force their way out and I cover my mouth with my hands to silence the sobs burning the back of my throat. It’s all too much. The pain I left here for Kairos to deal with on his own. The broken realms that have never repaired. The dark queen who refuses to move on from the past. And I haven’t had time yet to heal from my mortal ex-boyfriend leaving me or even think about the fact that Olivia is now stuck dealing with wars and immortal beings and monsters for life because we’re sisters. I have a fated mate who is heartbroken from so much loss and I’m here with him and can’t even remember him, and that has to be torture. It’s just...too…much. The realization that I’ve caused so much chaos for others burns and gnaws and slices through my entire body. I will never let harm come to them. I refuse to let the past repeat itself. I should have handled it on my own last time before everyone lost so much.
My phone lights up as it vibrates, letting me know I received a text from Ere. I wipe the tears off my cheeks, then close my eyes and count to ten, reminding myself to breathe. Everything is fine. When I open my eyes, I force myself not to think about things that hurt any longer, holding my head high and letting myself move on. It’ll all be okay soon. Picking up my phone, I swipe my finger across the screen to unlock it, then pull up the text from Ere.
I miss you. I’m sorry. Please come home.
