I miss you, too. I promise you’ll see me soon.
I’m a fool for walking away from you. Soon cannot come quickly enough.
Once I find a way out of the Realm of Darkness without Kairos following me, I’ll go to him to tell him goodbye. Yes, I loved him. I still do. But he’s mortal. The truth is, we could never work, not anymore. And as much as I try to fight the undeniable pull I feel toward Kairos, it wouldn’t be fair to him if I didn’t explore those feelings, eventually. I guess that depends on how things go with Nyx. Whether I live and get the chance or die wondering what could have been.
I groan as I swipe golden eyeshadow across my eyelids and smear red lipstick over my lips, a mix of guilt and a fiery determination settling over me. Then I slip into my dress. I have to go to this ball and smile and wave and pretend everything is fine, while in the back of my mind I’m planning my escape from Kairos, the man whose eyes rarely roam away from me. He’s intense in the way he cares for me, the way he cares about my safety more than even his own. He’ll be pissed. Maybe he’ll never forgive me. I hate that my welcome home party has suddenly turned into goodbye, but I have no choice. I’m doing this for him. For all of them.
As Kairos steps out of the bathroom, wearing black from head to toe and a wide smile, all I want to do is shove my face into the silky pillows on his bed and have a good cry. But I’m good at pretending. Smile. Laugh. Pretend everything is fine. Forcing a smile, I step toward him confidently, as if thoughts of failing him aren’t scraping at the edges of my mind. I don’t like having to pretend with him. I’ve never had to before, but for what I’m planning, it’s necessary. He’d never let me go. I understand his worries, that she’ll plunge the realms into darkness as soon as she gets her hands on me, but I won’t let her. I have to believe in myself the way everyone here believes in me. The way he does. I was powerful once and I will be again.
Slowly walking toward me, his throat bobs as his smile fades and his eyes rake over me with affection and worry. “Hey,” he says softly, running his hand down the back of my head and gently holding the back of my neck. “What is it? What’s wrong?”
I sniffle, shaking my head and turning away. “I’m okay.”
“You’re not,” he says, gripping my chin between his fingers and forcing me to look up at him. ”Talk to me. Tell me what’s going on inside that pretty little head of yours.”
“I’m scared. Of so many things all at once.” I blink up at him, smiling as white light glows around him and then reaches for me, swirling across my skin and soothing the pain in my heart.
“Here,” he says softly, unstrapping one of the daggers from his thigh. “Just in case.” His whispered words and his magic still sparkling softly around me calm my racing thoughts, easing every worry. “This belonged to you. I’ve carried it on me every day since the day I lost you, but I think it’s time I return it to its rightful owner.” He smiles, stepping in closer.
“It’s beautiful,” I breathe, running my fingers along the ruby stones along the hilt. “Rubies have always been my favorite. Even in another life, I guess.” I beam up at him, another little piece of my past clicking into place.
His eyebrows scrunch up as his eyes search mine. “I gave this to you as a gift once on your birthday,” glancing down at the dagger, he smiles, but not the crooked, playful smile I’ve gotten used to, it’s a smile full of affection and a bit of pain. “My birthday is in July.” He looks at me. “You wanted a dagger embellished with my birthstone because I had one made using yours. You cherished this blade, said it made you feel safe no matter where you were, because a part of me was with you, always.” Taking another step forward, he reaches out with his free hand, gripping the side of my face and caressing my cheek with his thumb.
Those eyes, the green and blue waves are like a riptide, dragging me out into the open sea, but his hand against my skin is a safe haven, the only thing preventing me from being swallowed whole by the raging current.
I have to say something. If he keeps looking at me like this I won’t be able to control what happens next.
I clear my throat. “It won’t go around my dress. The dagger, I mean.” I swallow thickly, unable to look away as he smiles and then kneels before me.
“I know,” he tells me. “I’ll need you to lift it up.”
I’m frozen. I can’t move as his eyes go feral in a way I’ve never seen from him before. He grips my ankle, then slides his palm up my calf, slowly running it along my thigh before pushing the thin fabric to the side. I gasp softly as he straps the holster to my leg, his warm fingers torturing my inner thigh as he slips them through the leather and runs his fingers from the front to the back to make sure it’s tight. He lowers the dagger into it. Smiling up at me, he drags his fingertips down to my calf, letting my dress fall with it. He didn’t pull his eyes away from mine once. Not even for a second.
Holy hell was that sexy, and probably the only thing I’ll be able to think about for the foreseeable future. Gods save me. Breathe in. Breathe out. Everything is just fine.
“They’re all staring at us,” I whisper into Kairos’s shoulder as we make our way down the path lined with bright wildflowers and celestial torches leading up to the platform where queen Gaia sits in the center of the meadow.
“Correction. They’re all staring at you,” he leans in and tells me, wrapping an arm around my waist tighter. “Love the dress, by the way.” His smile is bright and full of approval as his eyes drift down the front of my gown.
I chose a black lacey dress from my closet with red roses and vines that climb all the way up the front and sides, then wrap around my waist and shoulders. Kairos’ favorite flower. They’ve always been my favorite, too. My gold diamond encrusted earrings brush against my neck as we slowly make our way past celestials who smile and bow their heads, whispering ‘darkness guide me.’ My bare back tingles with the energy surging all around, and as we step closer and closer to the queen, the power sparking in the air only gets stronger. There are thousands of celestials here, all of them deathly still, encircling the platform in their black robes with the hoods drawn up. This is not a ball. The two of us and Gaia are the only ones dressed for one.
I clasp my hands in front of me to hide the tremors. Kairos’s arm is warm and safe, making me feel infinitely worse about my decision to leave him. The clouds fade as darkness settles in, and the starlight swallows them whole. Celestial wings glisten as shimmers of light radiate off them.
As Kairos and I step up to the platform, the flowers lining the path begin to glow brighter than the stars. My eyes widen and my hands shoot to my mouth watching them illuminate our path as we ascend the stairs. A huff of laughter escapes, and Kairos loops his arm through mine as we step up to the waiting queen, seated on a velvety chair, wings spread wide, and a black ring of light rimmed in gold illuminated around the crown of her head. She’s the most beautiful creature I’ve ever seen.
Her black dress shimmers like onyx and diamonds, and her dark hair nearly sparkles as she smiles and shakes her head, looking me up and down. “Nora,” she stands, reaching out and taking my hands. She bows her head, so I do the same, my smile growing wider as I take in her magnificent form. “We are thrilled to have you home. Welcome to the Realm of Darkness.”
She drops my hands, then faces Kairos, her dark eyes swirling with power. “You have done well, my son.” Placing her hands on his shoulders, she leans in close and whispers, “Fate shall never fail you.” She smiles and it’s as if all the light in the realm suddenly pales in comparison to her.
“You’ve always told me fate and time are on my side. I should listen to you more often, Mother.” He leans down and kisses her cheek, his eyes drifting over to me.
The queen waves a hand toward the crowd, and soft, classical music begins playing loudly. The celestials gathered around the platform disperse, heading toward long tables full of food and drinks, most likely Saintly Rosé. Others head to a dance floor covered in endless bright pink and purple glowing flowers. They lower their hoods and they’re smiling. They’re so happy. All of their eyes dance with excitement as they force their gazes away from us and focus instead on the rest of the party.
Gaia gracefully strides back to her seat. “It is such a shame what happened the last time we were here together in this meadow. Not being able to complete your claiming ceremony. That day still haunts my dreams.” She sighs, picking up the golden chalice on the small table beside her and taking a sip.
Kairos steps forward, glancing my way, arms stiff at his sides. “I haven’t gotten a chance to speak to Nora about,” his eyes shift to me before locking back on her, “many things, Mother. Maybe now is not the best time,” he whispers, his crooked smile weak and defeated, eyes begging for the conversation to end.
She dismisses his words with a wave, and I can’t help but wonder what else there is to tell me, or what the hell a claiming ceremony is, but I force the thoughts away. I’ll ask him later.
