The gods will not save me. Gaia and Ourahnus will not save me. And Hekate is not here because I foolishly pushed her away. I am alone. I am terrified and alone and I wish more than anything that I had never touched that grimoire. Gaia and Ourahnus nod at Ananthe in unison. I feel her step up behind me, her breathing too calm and steady for what they are asking her to do. Unsheathing her swords I hear a faint breath as she lightly blows against the metal, the very air from her lungs igniting the weapon with holy fire. So, they will kill me, then. I was willing to die to rid myself of this misery, but a small part of me hoped for a chance at redemption. Maybe time locked away while they discuss things further and form a plan to save me. I was wrong about them. I was wrong about this realm and the kindness of these people. I did not ask for any of this. I only wanted to fight what I already knew would come for me one day. They gave up on me. Even in death my heart will never forgive them.
Magic that feels too warm and too light and too wrong, suddenly wraps around me, forcing me onto my knees before my king and queen. Time stands still as Ananthe circles me, dragging her long sword across the marble as she smiles just to taunt me. I push and pull against the chains around my wrists, but it is useless. I cannot reach my power. I cannot breathe. Maybe I should thank them. Maybe I should hate them. Right now, I am unsure of what I should feel, but a part of me is relieved that darkness cannot have me.
Darkness will not win.
I only wish the people who I would have been willing to die for were willing to fight for me, but I suppose we are just not the same.
“Spread your wings out, Nyx.” Ananthe comes to a stop in front of me, glaring down at me like I am the most despicable creature she has ever encountered. “Now.” Her growl is angry and cruel as she touches the tip of her sword to my wings.
I hiss in pain as the flames singe my sensitive wings. A mix of white and black feathers drift to the floor in slow motion. Spreading my wings out as wide as I can, she smiles in approval. I want to spit in her face. I want to conjure my dark power and singe the skin off her bones. In this moment, Ananthe’s cruel smile growing, Gaia simply thinking she wishes to move on with her day, and Ourahnus standing to leave but being forced by Gaia to stay, I want to burn the whole fucking temple to the ground. But I know this is the darkness in my mind. It is not me. It cannot possibly be me.
The sword is lifted, and I close my eyes, preparing for a quick release from the disappointed glares of the silent rulers. Sharp metal and hellfire slice through my wings and I scream, falling forward and gripping at the marble but finding nothing to grip onto, nothing to help distract from the pain. White and black feathers float all around me, landing in a bloody heap.
I grit my teeth and fight through the shock and the pain, my wings spasming, every nerve ending within them on fire. “Wh-what are you doing!? Why are you doing this!?” My screams are desperate and pained as warm blood flows down my back.
Again, fire lashes into me, somehow burning even hotter this time. I scream louder, tears cascading down my flushed cheeks. This is torture. This is cruel. Our wings are sacred parts of us that should never be stripped away, even in death. This. Is not. Justice. Any celestial would choose death over this.
“Please! Stop this!” I rest my forearms on the ground, steading myself as I turn and look into the eyes of my cruel punisher.
“I will not stop until every feather burns away. It is what the gods and goddesses wish to be done.”
I look to them now, the just and fair rulers of my realm, but neither of them meet my gaze. I lower my head, not wanting to see their faces any longer, a blazing hatred igniting in my heart.
Another slice is followed by searing pain, and a scream full of anguish tears its way out of my chest.
My heart shatters to pieces.
“You are no longer one of us, Nyx.”
They do not want me.
Another slice, rougher this time, and all that is left is a scream that is weak and barely audible, my mouth hanging open and no sound coming out as I close my eyes and look up to whatever gods might be watching.
“You are no longer welcome in the Realm of Light.”
They no longer love me.
I have nothing left. I am broken. Ruined. I belong nowhere and to no one. I would choose death over this feeling of abandonment and cold heartedness any day.
Leaning forward, I rest my cheek against the cold floor, but I feel nothing. My hands are in a puddle of my own blood but I do not care. Blood splatters are everywhere, and I wonder if they will forget me as quickly as it takes them to clean it up with their power. I gaze at the silky feathers scattered around me, plucking a white one out of the pile and bringing it close to my face. I will miss them. I am nothing without them. What am I if not a celestial?
I am aware of Ananthe lashing and cutting and mutilating me, but I no longer feel it. I refuse to feel anything. Numbness wraps around me as my mind drifts to how much the white feather I hold onto for dear life reminds me of Hekate’s hair and how it smelled so deliciously like sunshine and tangerines. She made me feel. She was everything to me. I regret never telling her how much I love her. I smile weakly, comforted by the fact that I know she knew. All she wanted was for me to admit the truth, and I should have.
That will forever be my biggest regret.
My hand drops to the floor, no longer having the energy to hold it up. I am close to death. Maybe it will come for me after all.
The rulers, the ones who are now dead to me whether I survive these wounds, call their sons name, the celestial who lives and breathes to fight darkness. A portal opens and then I am lifted off the floor as he carries me through. The silence and darkness are a comfort after all I have just been through. I am placed on my back on a dirt floor, and with what little energy I have, I smile up at the king and queen’s son.
“The darkness is strong here. I can hear it whispering even louder now.”
“And what does the darkness tell you, Nyx? You really should not listen.” He kneels beside me, his green eyes nearly glowing within the shadows of the cave, his wavy hair just like his father’s falling over his eyes.
“It says the gods are lying, Kairos. He says that all of you are lying,” I am cut short as a coughing fit silences me, blood seeping out from between my lips.
He stands then, glancing around the cave, sensing the darkness within it coming closer. “I am truly sorry this happened to you, Nyx.” A portal flashes to life and then he disappears within it, the glow from the celestial dagger in his hand stealing away the last of the light.
A cold chill creeps across my skin as the skulls scattered around on the dirt floor welcome me. My eyelids begin to droop and my limbs are too heavy to move. Lying here after losing everything and everyone I ever loved, not only Hekate, but the two people who for so long were parents to me, and even Kairos who at times tried to be a friend, the warning from the ancestors that day in the meadow when I first met Hekate pushes its way into my mind.
