I try and fail again to burn the evil book as it whispers my name louder.
Nyx, Queen of Darkness, Goddess of Night, this is your fate.
I burn it. I burn and burn and burn it, my lungs aching as I scream, my magic fighting against the flames that spiral back toward me from whatever ungodly magic protects the grimoire. As I scream, my magic turns darker, the black flames surging back toward the book, and this time the leather and pages turn to ash. I crawl across the cold floor, picking up the pieces of what’s left, and letting out a sound that is a mix of sobbing and laughter. The ash swirls, a whisper of wind mixing the burnt pieces, and then the grimoire is again in front of me. Candles flicker as the shadows move closer and closer, the icy chill of them brushing against my skin. I shiver, a puff of white releasing into the air as I exhale into the abyss threatening to swallow me whole.
“Darkness guide me. Gods save me. Darkness guide me. Gods save me.” My whispered words do not scare the darkness.
This entity, it fears no celestial, mortal, or god.
It smiles, I can sense it. The thought of stripping me of all light and plunging me into eternal darkness and damnation brings it a sickening joy. It grows closer to taking over completely. My room, once full of warmth and comfort, is now as cold as I have felt my heart become over the past few weeks. As cold as it has made me. Shadowy tendrils like long, pointed fingers reach for me, pulling me deeper into nothingness, into never-ending isolation and eternal abandonment by my realm. I cannot fight it any longer. I have tried, but it refuses to let me go.
“Please,” I whimper to the darkness, and though I see no face I feel it staring back at me. “Please!” I scream, tipping my head back, my ruined, blackened wings open wide, begging for the gods to save me.
The candles in my protective circle flicker out. All the books from my shelves lining the walls violently crash to the floor. Pages are ripped and torn from them by hands or magic I cannot see, one that is angry and hateful and dripping with impatience. The pages swirl around me as I quickly cower away, my belongings crashing against the wall and tumbling to the floor. All that is left is a broken, scattered mess of the life I once had. My light has vanished. It is gone. What I feel coursing through my body now is not the minuscule amount of darkness I once felt there, but a hungry, possessive beast. Only darkness remains. I belong to it now. Curling up on my side, I continue whispering the celestial mantra over and over, even knowing it will bring no relief. Even knowing there is no saving my soul, now, not with what it has taken from me.
“Darkness guide me—” Staring at my wrists, I will the skin to rip open and spill my blood on the floor. “Gods save me.”
A puddle of crimson forms around me, and I smile. Dizziness sets in and my heart rate quickens, blood rushing from my body. I strain against my power as my body attempts to force me to live, ripping the wounds open wider and deeper, refusing to let magic heal me. The wounds likely will not end my life, but I have no choice. I must try. I will not be an active participant in these wicked games. I just want to be free before it is too late.
The pages in the grimoire flip on their own, and I open my eyes to watch. It again stops on the page it has forced me to focus on for weeks. Unlocking the Abyss. Pushing myself to my knees, my hands slipping and sliding on my own blood, I crawl across the floor and kneel before the book.
No. Gods, no, no no. Glancing down at the spilled blood, I gasp at the way it flows from my body and creeps through the cracks to reach the leathery binding, trickling up the page straight to the center of the dark abyss sketched there in ink. I gave it what it needed. It begged for my blood. The nightmares haunted me for weeks, images of me simply pricking my finger or as horrifying as slicing my own throat, to let the blood drip onto the hollow pit on this page.
It needed this. It pushed me to do this. My blood has somehow opened the Abyss. The darkness haunted and tortured me until I broke, until I was so desperate that I believed this was my only choice. The warmth of my tears matches the warmth of the blood clinging to my fingers and dripping down my arms as I stare at the page in front of me. I tremble as dark flames sway and crackle, rising from the once lifeless pit. The god is free. Because of me. Gazing into the fiery pit, my wrists tingle as the sensitive skin pulls itself together, leaving only faded scars and blood stains where the gaping wounds were. I healed much too quickly, even for an immortal. I should have been found lifeless and barely hanging on due to the extreme loss of blood, and yet I feel stronger and more powerful than ever. The celestials were to find me broken and hopeless on the floor with a desire to save me burning in their hearts. It was a cry for help. My last hope to prove my innocence in all of this. They will not forgive what I have done. There is no redemption for my soul, not after setting free that which the gods worked so hard to imprison.
Blood of my blood, it is time for you to rise.
The whispered words are within my mind, no longer from a corner of darkness in my room. I feel him all around me, tangled within every thought and every breath he allows me to take and every single move I make. Evil is embedded deeply in my soul now, and as its grip on my mind tightens, the power from the Abyss tugs at me, calling me home. I do not belong here. I never did, and I surely never will.
I belong to darkness. I suppose I always have.
As a portal opens, a flash of light is followed by Ananthe stepping through, clad in her white fighting leathers and celestial sword in hand. If the king and queen sent her for me then they are scared. She is the oracle who sees all necessity and inevitability, the one they call upon to deliver justice or punishment if needed in times of war. I have never seen them call upon her before because I have never been alive during a war. Is that what I have started, then, a war between the realms? Gods, what have I done?
“Nyx, King Ourahnus and Queen Gaia are requesting your presence.” Dark, cautious eyes follow my every movement as I stand. Her white wings ruffle slightly as she waves a hand, bringing the candles scattered throughout the room back to life. “You should have known better than to let the darkness in. Your careless choices have led to my being here. I had hoped it would never come to this.” Her rigid features soften slightly as she swallows, raking her eyes up and down my form.
I roughly wipe at my wrists with my robe to rid myself of the proof of what I have done, panting as I prepare to face the consequences of my actions. She is not taking me to the rulers to speak of how they might save me. They sent her because they would like to be rid of me. I can hear it in her thoughts, though she does her best to try to hide them. It is her who is responsible for approaching the ones who have raised me and asking what shall be done now that I have fallen into darkness, and it is her who I suppose will be my savior in the end.
I favor death over being a slave to such darkness.
I nod in understanding and then pull myself to my feet, running my hands down my robe to smooth out the wrinkles and let my magic wash away the blood stains smeared across it. A bright flash is followed by powerful magic that bites against my wrists like hot iron with sharp teeth, suppressing my power and keeping my hands locked together. Swallowing thickly, I step up next to Ananthe, ready to face my fate. She follows me through the portal, and together we enter the Hall of Justice within the Temple of Light. My retinas burn almost immediately from the celestial lights shining down from the diamond encrusted chandeliers. It is disorienting, the light, after weeks of being engulfed in darkness in my room. Queen Gaia and King Ourahnus sit in their thrones on the raised platform in the center of the room, tight lipped and as still as the celestial carvings made of alabaster stone in the curved corners of the room. I slowly make my way to them.
I bow low, hoping they cannot hear the erratic beating of my heart. I am too afraid to breathe. Too ashamed.
“We are extremely disappointed in you, Nyx.” Ourahnus lowers his head, his blonde hair cascading in front of his eyes. He clasps his hands together in his lap, staring at the white and silver marble floor, refusing to look at me. His wings are tucked in tight, and the thick crown made of light around his forehead glows brighter than I have ever seen.
They glow brighter the angrier they are, I have learned, and brighter still when a punishment will be harsh.
“We are more than disappointed. We are ashamed.” Gaia stands, making her way to the front of the platform, the clinking of her heels against the floor a thunderous declaration of anger. “You have embarrassed us before the gods for allowing you entrance into the Realm of Light. We trusted you. We treated you as if you were our own daughter. You have destroyed… everything. Do you have any idea what you have done!?” The ground rumbles as she yells those last words, her fists clenching as her power soars. Lights flicker and then shatter, cracks forming in the walls like slithering snakes eating through the thick marble. Her dark hair glistens as what lights are left shimmer across it, her lips forming a thin, restrained line.
Her crown shines even brighter than the king’s. She is much angrier than him and not at all trying to hide it.
My eyes burn and my throat feels like it has been sliced open with razor blades. My trembling hands hang limply at my sides as I step forward. “Your generosity is something I will be forever grateful for. I am sorry I have brought shame to the two of you. You have been more kind and accepting of me than anyone else.” Sniffling quietly, I wipe my tears away. “But darkness called to me, and it does not want me here. It whispers that I belong to it in my dreams. It haunts my thoughts and torments me day and night. I-I could not stop it. I-I tried to remain strong.”
“You did no such thing! You welcomed it in. You stole your mother’s grimoire and chose to set it free. One day, we might all belong to darkness, and if that day should come, we will have only you to blame, Nyx.” Gaia paces back and forth, her power surging around the room in waves, the diamond chandeliers swaying and clinking together and pieces of the walls cracking further and crumbling down. “You have no idea what evil you have unleashed back into the realms. And now, the agony you will now endure because of that mistake.” She huffs, slowly shaking her head in disbelief. “You belong to it now, Nyx. We can no longer keep you here because you are a danger to us all. You cannot be saved.” A momentary flash of sadness in her eyes is all I see before she turns on her heels and takes a seat back in her velvety chair.
“Why does it want me? We must be able to do something to stop it!” My frantic words rush out in a single breath.
Ourahnus looks at Gaia and then at me. “This happened once before. The gods were at war, and our gods won. The Gods of Light.” His golden eyes are soft and kind, though his power is tense and rageful, but mostly I sense that he is scared. “We hoped the darkness would never again be unleashed. We had hoped it would not find a way to come for you. But you share the same blood. And when you bind yourself to darkness the way your mother did, there is no escaping it. You belong to the darkness just as much as your mother did.” He takes a seat next to Gaia, his shoulders sagging but his head held high. “The gods are not here to step in this time. We cannot let you stay here and put our people in danger. The celestial prophecies predicted this, but still, we foolishly tried to prevent it.” He sighs, closing his eyes and clenching his jaw, his thoughts moving too quickly to keep up with. “The realms will be engulfed in shadows and pain, and we must now let it play out as it will. There is no one coming to save us.”
