“What are you afraid of?”
“Everything. Losing you again. Losing my people and my home. I’m scared of you refusing to let me protect you when it’s the only thing I want to do.” His eyes snap closed and he shakes his head.
He’s scared of Nyx taking me away from him again, too. She killed me before. He lost me. He has had to live with that pain for a century and to live through it again would be torture. God, no wonder he’s so persistent on taking me away. I would be, too. Hiding out in his realm might be good for me. Maybe I’ll remember something, anything, that could connect me to my past… to him. If we loved each other once and are fated to be, then he deserves for me to at least be open to the possibility. I want to go. I need to know everything.
“I’d like to see your home. I want to see what it is you’re so afraid of losing.” I smile as he lowers my hand from his chest, his eyes flashing with excitement.
Standing here with Kairos, suddenly I’m not ready to die. Those dark thoughts fade away. I want to live. Not only do I want to live, but I want to thrive, and I want to fight until my lungs burst and my heart gives out.
Death cannot take me — not if I take it first.
“Our home, Nora.” He smiles, wide and untamed, and my breath hitches.
I should protest his words, tell him it’s not my home and never will be, but I can’t. Seeing his power, his happiness, radiate around us in glimmering white speckles of light makes me happy for him. Even if I never love this man, there’s something that tells me he has suffered more than he’s willing to show, and for that alone he deserves to be happy.
I smile up at him. “Your magic is beautiful. It soothes my worries. I feel safe with you.”
“Don’t let the celestial light fool you.” He leans in closer. “My power is a rageful beast.” His lips quirk up as I tip my head back and laugh. “Thank you for trusting me.” Brushing his fingertips along my cheekbone, he tucks loose locks of hair behind my ears then wraps his hand around mine and leads me to my bedroom. “There’s something you should probably do before we leave.”
As he comes to a stop at the foot of my bed, he waves a hand and celestial light glimmers across the covers. My mouth pops open and my eyes widen in surprise as I take in what’s laid out before me. Black fighting leathers appear like the ones he’s wearing now. They have the intricate buttons and zippers and the insane amount of loops for holding weapons, just like his. But this set has a long lacey skirt that fans out from the back of the pants, giving it a girly flair. It’s the most beautiful outfit I’ve ever seen. I run my hands across the butter smooth material and something about it feels right. Like it was made just for me. I look up at Kairos and joy lights up his face, and something about that also feels right.
“Thank you,” I whisper, unable to take my eyes off him. “Is this what I used to wear? Is this hers? Mine?” Thinking about who I might have been in a past life, how I dressed and acted and felt, sends a wave of exhilaration spiraling through me, like a connection to my past has been made. It’s not much, but it’s enough for now.
I feel her within me. I feel…me.
“It came straight from your closet and there are many more where that came from.” Perched on the edge of my bed, he trails his fingertips across the material. He scoops the clothes up into his arms and smiles. “After you get dressed, we’ll leave if you’re ready.” Shifting his attention to the bathroom in the corner of the room, he pushes the clothes into my arms.
“I’ll call Hekate and Olivia so they can meet us here, and then I’m ready. I want to see them before we leave. Liv is going to be so jealous.” I laugh, turning and heading toward the dim light filtering in from the light above the bathroom sink.
I feel stronger with Kairos. I feel brave and powerful with him close by. I think it’s the way he believes in me, like he sees a light within my soul that lies dormant and waiting to spark to life.
Stopping as I push the bathroom door open, I glance at him over my shoulder, not meeting his eyes. “Please don’t leave. I don’t trust myself being alone with everything that’s happened.”
I hate admitting that I’m vulnerable or that I’m scared of Nyx’s power taking over my thoughts again, but I am. Right now, I don’t feel her darkness clinging to me the way it did the night on the bridge or when I went for a swim, for the moment I feel like I’ve escaped its clutches. But I know it’s here, watching and waiting. It always is.
He shifts on the bed, his wings peeking out from behind him. He doesn’t even blink. He doesn’t hesitate or look away. He says what’s in his heart, always. “I’ve waited a century to be by your side again. I’d stay right here forever if you asked me to. I’m not going anywhere. I’m here.” His white light shimmers my way, and I smile as his power nearly drowns me in a colossal amount of positivity and hope.
“Thank you, Kairos.”
For now, I’ll trust his judgement to leave. I’ll let my safety be a priority even though I’d rather we fight to get my memories back. He wants me to remember him. If he thought we stood a chance right now, I’m positive he’d do whatever it would take to make it happen. I’m grateful he’s willing to do what he believes is best for me, even if I don’t agree. Having him near is like seeing the world for the first time with my eyes truly open.
With Kairos near, I can’t imagine a battle darkness will win, not when only light exists around him.
Chapter Twenty
Realm of Darkness
KAIROS
Gods save me. She’ll be the reason for my untimely death. It’s her beauty that will have my heart giving out, stuck frozen and unable to beat. My gods, it hurts. To touch her without being able to drown her in my love, and to gaze into those sapphire orbs of light and feel no love in return…how the hell am I going to keep surviving without her remembering me? I’ve spent a century trying not to forget a single moment of the time we spent together. Like the nights we spent falling in love under the twinkle of the stars, or the moment fate crashed into us and we made love beneath those stars for the first time. The night she first told me she loved me was the best night of my entire existence.
She is my flame within the darkness, and without her, light for me has ceased to exist. She is my reason—for breathing—for fighting against darkness—my entire reason for living.
Her. My everything.
“Take my hand.” I pin my gaze to the atrocious pink walls of her bedroom, needing a distraction from how tempting she looks in her leather fighting gear. As much as I want to, it’s not polite to stare. “Are you ready?”
She smiles and places her tiny hand in mine, and there is not an ounce of fear in her eyes when she looks at me. Stepping toward me, for the first time since I started guarding her, I sense no fear in her heart either. Knowing she feels safe with me makes me want nothing more than to lay my own life on the line. I’d rather die than have to live through watching her be ripped away from me again.
