“Let’s eat. You need to gather your strength.” He moves around my kitchen like he owns the place, and I settle into the cushions to quietly observe.
All of this is crazy. There are so many questions spinning endlessly in my head, but all I can focus on is him. The way he moves so gracefully, his black leather such a contrast to my white kitchen. How his eyes linger on my face as he delicately places pancakes on plates. No matter what he does, his eyes always return to me. This man, this immortal celestial being, has saved me. He comes to the rescue again and again, as if my death means his own heart might stop beating. There’s so much light around Kairos, the kind that makes me feel like I have light within me, too. Like we all do.
He sets two plates full of food and coffee that smells divine on the table and sits in the recliner across from me. His lips twitch at the edges as he notices my eyes tracking his every move. “Please, eat,” he says, gesturing to my plate.
“Why do I need to gather my strength?” I take a bite of bacon then wrap my hands around my warm mug and take a sip, still watching him the whole time.
“Because we are leaving.” Cutting into his pancake he doesn’t look up.
“Leaving to go where? What if I don’t want to? Will you force me leave?”
“You’re no longer safe here. I won’t force you to do anything, but I think you should come home.” Pausing with his fork and knife in his hands, he glances up, his wings finally appearing for emphasis. “To my realm. To your realm.”
“What the hell does that mean? My realm. This is my home, Kairos.” I set my cup down, glaring at him as he refuses to meet my gaze.
“I would have no realm if it weren’t for you. I would have nothing. It is most certainly your realm.” His wings ruffle behind his back as he glances down at my plate. “Maybe you’ll be a bit less grumpy after you eat. It certainly used to do the trick.” His crooked, taunting smile is followed by him shoving another bite of pancakes into his mouth.
I shake my head, forcing bites of food into my mouth and choosing to take the high road by pretending he isn’t here instead of arguing. It’s not him I’m upset with, it’s the situation at hand, but it’s hard. I don’t want to leave Olivia or Hekate. Ere isn’t speaking to me yet, but I don’t want to leave him, either. Maybe he just needs time. I don’t want to be alone in a whole new realm.
Kairos’ fork clangs against his plate, and then I feel a gentle thrum of light and warmth wrapping around me. “I know you’re scared, Nora. It’s okay. But you are not in this alone.” He leans his elbows on his knees as I meet his gaze. “I’m with you and I’m not going anywhere.”
“How do you always know what I’m feeling? It’s creepy,” I groan, crossing my legs and leaning away.
Something like pain flashes within his eyes and then he’s running his hands through his hair nervously. “As your guardian I could sense what you were feeling, but once a fated bond snaps into place, it’s different.” He sighs heavily. “I feel your fear now. Your pain. Your grief. You’re no longer alone in any of it. When you remember what I am to you, you won’t be able to ignore my feelings either. It does feel a bit like reading each other’s minds.” His smile is forced.
“When exactly did it snap into place?”
“Last night. When I told you the truth. That was all it took for fate to take the reins. It’s no longer just a possibility, it’s our destiny. It will happen.” There’s a truth in his eyes that I can’t ignore and a hope in his words he can’t hide.
He felt it all then as my boyfriend left and ripped my heart in two. Every jab of pain, every teardrop, and every gut-wrenching pang of loss as I fell apart in my bedroom. I keep quiet. I don’t want to crush his building hope, not without knowing the truth myself. For all I know he’s right and we really are fated to be. At this point, nothing would shock me.
“Kairos, Nyx will find me wherever I go. I won’t be safe anywhere, and neither will you if you keep protecting me.” I push my plate away and lean back into the plushness of the couch.
Shaking his head, there’s a dangerous glint in his eyes that makes my heart lurch. “The moment she comes anywhere near you, Nora, will be the day she regrets every decision leading up to it. I will be there ready and waiting to end her pathetic life. You have no reason to be afraid. In fact, she should be the one trembling in fear.” His smile is wicked and dark, all light around him drifting away.
Life as I knew it before is over. Everything I know about the world I live in is a lie. He’s right, I am scared. Terrified actually. I’m scared about my future and of him and I’m scared that the darkness creeping around in my mind will take over completely. Her darkness. I’m terrified I’ll lose myself and never find my way back.
Maybe I need an escape. If I run so far away that I can’t hear Nyx’s whispers in my mind, too far for her dark power to reach me, maybe I can feel like myself again. The girl who smiled and laughed without guilt eating away at her mind for being alive while her parents are gone. The girl who was free of darkness and pain. Kairos said I’m meant to bring an end to darkness, to be a savior of the realms, but how can I save anyone when I can’t even save myself?
I just want to be free.
The air is heavy, like I’m submerged under water and can’t take a breath. I fear the moment I’ll have to face Nyx; the moment everyone realizes I can’t fight the darkness that’s entangled with my soul. She’ll win this game like she did before. Deep down in my core I can already feel it.
She will fucking win.
“I can’t do this. I can’t face any of this yet, I just can’t.” I stand and rush toward my bedroom, but his arms slip around my waist and turn me to face him.
I’m frozen in silence as waves of green and blue rise and fall, hypnotizing me in his arms. I can’t look away. I can’t run or hide no matter how badly my mind begs me to escape him. In this moment, I don’t want to. Some hidden piece of my soul doesn’t want to.
“I promise to keep you safe. I won’t let her hurt you. Just please…trust me.”
My heart melts and my thoughts scramble to find the right words. “What if I can’t fight the darkness? What if I disappoint everyone? I’m afraid it’s too late for me.” I swallow back the tears, refusing to let him see how weak and lost I truly am.
No one can see. I have to pretend to be strong until I believe it myself. Until everyone else believes it, too. I’m fine.
Taking my hand in his, he brings my palm to his chest and holds it there. The steady thumping of his heart calms my own. “Feel how my heart beats for you. Feel it with everything inside of you, that I’m just as afraid as you are. It’s okay to be scared. Let’s be scared together. Let’s fight this together the way we always have.” His gentle words caress my soul, the sensation like licking a wound I didn’t realize even existed.
He’s afraid? This man, with his multiple swords and daggers — who’s capable of taking down whole ass demons — is afraid?
