“I meant a lady you might wish to offer a proposal of marriage,” she clarified.
“Maybe. It’s too early to tell,” Matthew stalled. “Certainly not Lady Julia Jameson, a light-heeled wench if ever I saw one, and she was dancing with a man who might’ve been a decade her junior. I vow she must be nearing thirty. She’s not unattractive, but her fortune isn’t enough to make gentlemen forget she’s known as a fustilugs when the ballgown attire is removed.”
Lady Purity’s brow furrowed. “I beg your pardon.”
“It means she’s rather a lusty beast between the sheets.”
His lovely companion gasped, and her blush deepened.
“A man might want that in a mistress but not in a wife,” he explained, in case she wondered why men weren’t flocking tomarry Lady Julia, who had been dancing all over London since he first moved back after university.
“I also spied Miss Westland, a bonny girl from all accounts at my club, but someone said she had a third ... appendage.” He nearly said the word “nipple.” Having a polite conversation was harder than he had imagined. On the other hand, he wasn’t trying to behave.
Lady Purity was shaking her head, wearing an expression of dismay.
Matthew continued, “How would any man at Boodle’s know such an intimate fact unless she was a lewd bobtail, a game pullet, if you will?”
“My lord,” she said as soon as he took a breath. “Gossip is a vulgarism I warned you about. Combine it with vicious slander, and you have entered into the lowest form of conversational offensiveness.”
“Have I?” Matthew was mystified.
“Indeed, you have,” she asserted.
“Then you also don’t wish to know the amusing tale of Lord Varley’s muck up when he gave a certain lady who was not his betrothed a green gown in a dark garden.”
She stared silently. After a long, awkward moment, Lady Purity said, “I do not understand you, my lord.”
Matthew cocked his head. She was clever. Most assuredly shedidunderstand.
“This is another lesson, isn’t it?” he asked.
Putting a delicate hand to her temple, she nodded.
“When presented with a double entendre, a lady has two choices. She can remain silent because she hasnotheard you, even if she has, or she may say ‘I do not understand you.’” Her tone rose. “And then she can only pray you shut your vulgar potato trap!”
“Did I hear something about potatoes?” asked Lady Diamond, coming up behind. At the same time, the music for the next dance began, calling everyone to find their partners.
“My regards, Lady Purity, Lady Diamond. I will see you both later.”
Matthew hurried off, wishing he could spend the entire evening with Purity. Dinner without her was far less satisfying than dinner with her. However, since it wasn’t his companion’s fault, he made sure to hold up his end of the conversation.
Yet when it was over, he all but skipped out of the dining room before halting and remembering to escort his partner and her mother, who had sat on either side of him, back to the ballroom. Bidding them good evening, he went in search of Lady Purity for their next dance.
To his astonishment and dismay, neither she nor Lady Diamond were still at the assembly. About to depart, Matthew recalled he’d allowed his name to be marked upon another seven ladies’ cards.
Blast it all!He needed Lady Purity to see he was trying, even if he didn’t give a fig about any one of his other partners. With her no longer there, Matthew would far rather be at his club drinking brandy with friends.
On the other hand, he was a gentleman. He might not have spent a great deal of time in London’s ballrooms or on its dance floors, but he knew leaving a lady without a promised partner was unthinkable. It was practically a sacred duty, not to be shirked unless he dropped dead next to the refreshments.
Accordingly, he stayed, but his mind wandered to Lady Purity. She knew the rule as well as anyone and was more likely than most to follow it.Was she taken ill?
He hoped not, but he would use her sudden disappearance as an excuse to call upon her again.
He waited until three o’clock the following day. The minutes and hours between when he’d discovered her missing from the ball and handing his calling card to the Diamonds’ butler seemed an eternity.
At least he was shown into the drawing room again — a good sign. He doubted that would be the case if Lady Purity was in a dire condition. However, the first person who entered was Lady Diamond.
For a moment, Matthew wondered if she would take him to task for his cloddish previous behavior. Right behind her, though, was Lady Purity, looking perfect. His relief must have shown upon his face, for immediately, the countess invited him to take a seat.
