Settle in with it?Eleanor thought that a strange way of discussing the truth.
Moreover, she could hardly imagine anything causing Grayson to be angry or jealous. However, this wasn’t a riddle for an evening’s entertainment. This was something serious, and Eleanor wished she could ask Jenny or Maggie or her own mother what to do.
“Very well,” she said at last. “If you think you cannot tell him, I’ll write down whatever you wish.”
“You will have to swear to keep it secret and never tell a living soul.”
When his mother said it like that, it sounded ominous. Eleanor obviously couldn’t tell adeadsoul.And what of Grayson?They were forming a wonderful bond. She felt closer to him every day. Her youthful obsession with the handsome man had blossomed into genuine feelings of…love.
Dare she say the words, even to herself?I love him.
How could she swear to withhold an important secret from him, only to reveal on his mother’s deathbed that she knew it all along?
“I can see you’re struggling with this,” Mrs. O’Connor said. “And it’s because you have feelings for my boy. I can see it on your face when you look at him. And it’s plain to see he cares for you, as well.”
His mother sighed. “Since the day he was born, I have kept this from him. I know how hard it is to lie to one you love with all your heart. I won’t ask it of you.”
“Then what shall we do?” Eleanor felt desperately torn. She wanted to help Mrs. O’Connor, who looked all but crushed. And curiosity burned in her to know the dreadful secret but not at the expense of her own peace of mind. For once she learned it, she wouldn’t be able to look Grayson in the eyes without feeling guilty.
No, she must not be told,Eleanor decided. She wasn’t strong enough to carry such a burden without blurting it out to him at some point.
Then, all at once, an idea hit her.
“I could teach you to write.”
“Never,” Mrs. O’Connor said. Then the next instant, she asked, “Could you?”
“Yes, why not?” Eleanor clapped her hands with excitement. “You simply need to keep your spectacles handy.”
She was rewarded with a smile. “If I could get the words on paper, then I would feel as if I’d done my duty as his mother.”
Almost wanting to cry with relief, Eleanor watched as Grayson’s mother warmed to the idea. Nodding to herself, Mrs. O’Connor said, “I think I could do this.”
“Why, positively you can! We shall start at once. We need only some paper and a pen. And maybe a few books so you see how words work. I shall go to Lord Angsley’s library and get everything we need.”
She rose and hurried to the door when Mrs. O’Connor stopped her.
“I understand you’ve had word from the Earl of Cambrey. Your sister is doing better, isn’t she?”
“Yes, she is. I shall be….Oh.” Eleanor realized the problem. “I shall be leaving soon. I was supposed to go today. We delayed leaving because Grayson and I had a picnic planned but for the rain.”
Mrs. O’Connor nodded, looking a little crestfallen. “I suppose we shall have to wait until the next time Miss Beryl returns and you come to visit her.”
Eleanor frowned. She hated to let Grayson’s mother down. This was important, perhaps one of the truly useful things she’d ever been called upon to do in her young life.
“My sister is not ill and never was, so there is no rush for me to be by her side. She is carrying a child, as it turns out. If the Angsleys don’t mind my staying, then I shall teach you.”
“Oh dear,” Mrs. O’Connor said, looking uncertain.
“Truly, it is no trouble. We shall start by having you practice writing individual letters. Then I am confident within a few days, maybe a week, I can teach you enough to sound out your words so you can write something legible, though most likely not perfect.”
“I am only concerned what you will tell the lord and lady. I never brought up not being able to read and write. No one ever asked, and I never needed such skills. I wouldn’t want them to think I haven’t got a brain in my head.”
“You have made lace,” she reminded Grayson’s mother, “and hundreds of dresses, which undeniably fit her ladyship and the other Angsley girls perfectly.”
“Yes,” she said, looking surer of herself. Then she frowned. “Still, it wouldn’t do for them to think you’ve stayed here for my sake.”
“Do not worry. I won’t embarrass you. I’ll think of something. Are you ready to start today?”
