“I have a dreadful secret.”
Eleanor nodded calmly, though her heart had started to beat faster.Why would Mrs. O’Connor invite her to the lodge to hear her secret? Unless…
“Is it to do with Grayson?”
After another moment’s hesitation, Mrs. O’Connor nodded.
“I have made some fine needlepoint in my day. I’ve even made lace, a time-consuming task if ever there was one. And I’ve sewn hundreds of dresses. But Gray is my best work. He is a good son and a good man.”
She paused, and then in a whispered voice, she added, “He means the world to me.”
Eleanor gently squeezed the woman’s hands.Did Mrs. O’Connor know how much she admired her son, too?
“I expect you’re wondering why I’m telling you,” Gray’s mother said as if reading Eleanor’s thoughts. “I’ve seen you together a few times recently, but also over the years, and you’ve grown into a lovely young lady, one whom my son cannot keep his eyes off of.”
Eleanor felt the heat rush into her cheeks.
“I have something I want to tell Gray, but not while I’m alive.”
Eleanor gasped.What could she mean?
“Are you ill?” Knowing how Grayson doted on his mother, it would devastate him to lose her unexpectedly.
“No, dear. I’m quite fit except for my eyes.” The woman withdrew her hands from under Eleanor’s and pointed to the glasses also on the table. “I shall not lose them again. Or, I may do, on second thought, because I’m not used to caring for them, but I’ll try not to.”
“Why don’t you want to tell Grayson your secret until after you’re gone?”
Mrs. O’Connor hung her head. “I don’t want him to think ill of me, and this information will change his life a little…or perhaps, a lot. I’m not sure, but it could.” His mother frowned and added, “There are greater ramifications, others are involved.”
Then she gave a little groan. “While it is only in here,” Mrs. O’Connor continued, tapping her head, “it is a small matter, of no consequence to anyone, harming no one. But once it is out here,” she said, gesturing to the room in general, “then it is a huge matter. At least to some.”
“Naturally, you would prefer not to deal with it?” Eleanor guessed.
Mrs. O’Connor sighed. “I would prefer no one had to deal with it. And I believe some secrets should never be told, especially if they do no good to anybody in the telling, and mayhap only harm. But this one, eventually, should be told, at least to Gray.”
Eleanor pondered a moment. “If that is the case, and you truly wish for the truth to remain hidden away for now, why not write your message on a piece of paper and set it aside with instructions for it to be read upon your passing.”
There, that seemed a sensible notion. Eleanor was pleased with herself for thinking of it.
“I can’t write,” the woman explained, a small catch in her voice betraying her emotion. “Nor read, of course. I have no way of documenting what I want to tell Gray after I’m gone.”
Drats!Eleanor hadn’t considered that.
“However, I have thought about doing exactly what you’re suggesting, creating a last testament, except instead of worldly possessions to give him, I have only my secret. I merely need someone to write it for me.”
She gave Eleanor a beseeching look and a plaintive smile.
“But you’re young yet,” Eleanor protested, not thinking herself the correct vessel for Mrs. O’Connor’s confidences. “Moreover, if there is something important you want to impart, surely it would be better for you to do so while your son can still speak with you about it. Perhaps he’ll have questions.”
“I can put all the answers on the page better than I can say them.” Her voice had fallen to a whisper. “While I’m still here and can look in his eyes, I don’t want him to blame me, nor do I want him to do anything rash.”
Eleanor nodded. “Truly, you think your secret might incite him to rash action?”
“My Gray is a good man,” she repeated, then fell silent a moment as Eleanor waited. “I think you agree with me on this.”
They locked gazes, until Eleanor, not wishing to lie, simply nodded. After all, there could be no harm in letting Grayson’s mother know she thought her son to be the most appealing man in the world.
“When learning the truth, he might behave strangely or out of character, at least until he settles in with it.” Mrs. O’Connor added. “He might be angry or feel jealous.”
