She’d wanted to ask. But she’d refused to go down and try to talk to him again, not after he’d rebuffed her last time. She’d had a rough evening herself. Cliff hadn’t taken it well whenshe told him that she wasn’t interested in reconciling. At first, he’d been so disbelieving that he’d laughed. But when she’d let him hang up and hadn’t called back, he’d eventually begun to realize she’d been serious. Then he’d started calling her incessantly, and because she wouldn’t answer, resorted to a series of text messages.
I never loved you anyway... What a stupid bitch! Do you realize what you’re giving up? What could you be mad at me for? So I got confused! That happens sometimes... Look, I’m sorry, babe. Ignore my previous texts. I was angry, that’s all. Let’s talk. Can we? Please? Will you just answer your fucking phone?
And when she still wouldn’t capitulate:
What the hell is wrong with you? Do I have to fly over there and drag your ass back?
She’d cringed at the idea that he might come to Italy. That was the last thing she needed. But for now, she felt safe. The Lakers were still in the playoffs. He couldn’t go gallivanting around the globe.
Asking for a divorce was a momentary lapse of judgment. If you can’t love me through something small like that, you never really loved me to begin with.
After that last message, she’d finally written back.
Cliff, please stop. Take a deep breath. No matter what happens, I will always be your biggest fan.
I have enough fucking fans!
Calm down. You started this.
How?
You kicked me out!
So you’re looking for revenge? You’re trying to make me pay? I just told you it was a lapse of judgment. I wasn’t thinking straight!
I’m not out for revenge! It’s just that I have Lilly to think of now.
Lilly isn’t your responsibility. Stop acting like she’s the kid you’ve always wanted.
She needs me. That’s the point.
So support her like a sister should—in whatever home she goes to. You don’t have to be her mother, for God’s sake.
He’d said before that Lilly could come live with them. This revealed he’d never really meant it. And the way he was acting... It reminded her of how possessive he’d always been of her time, how little he’d allowed her to include her parentsand friends in her life. He’d made her live for him, and she was simply not willing to do that any longer. What he’d done over the past two months had been like throwing a cup of cold water in her face. It hadn’t been pleasant, but that—and her trip to Italy, where she remembered what healthier relationships were like—had certainly woken her up.
I love her.
What about me?
She hadn’t known what to say to that. She still loved him—not the way she once had but because he’d been such a part of her life. Her actions now were more about recognizing the truth. She owed it to herself to demand fair treatment, could see that having him break up with her was a gift of sorts—a chance to take a different path—and if she handled it right instead of giving in to what was easiest, she’d be much happier.
Even if she wasn’t, at least she’d be able to do right by the other people in her life.
You won’t give me what I need.
I’ve never been stingy with you!
That was true. But he was talking about money, and that wasn’t what she was referring to.
I know, and I appreciate it. I tried not to take advantage of that.
The way his family did.
But I think we should at least take a break and see how we feel later.
Why? I’m ready to get back together now.
I need some time to focus on myself—on my career and raising my sister.
