He shifted so that he could see her face in the moonlight streaming through the veranda doors, which were open to the cool ocean breeze. “When did you decide this?”
“I think I’ve known I’d do it from the beginning—that I could never really let her go. I was just overwhelmed by what I was going through myself—and knowing Cliff wouldn’t be happy if I brought her home while I was married to him—which made me hesitate to offer too soon.”
“Are you really committed to raising a teenager?”
“Now you sound like Sloane used to,” she said, rolling her eyes.
“Maybe so, but becoming her guardian is a lot of responsibility. It’d be different if the situation hadn’t changed, but it has. Now there are other options. Good options.”
“I don’t care. I want her with me. As soon as I told her today, I felt infinitely lighter. Even if... even if I lose my publishing career and the divorce turns into a nightmare, I know I’ve chosen the right thing. Lilly—and you.”
He stiffened. She was generally careful not to say things like that. It upset Julian, made him moody. From her perspective, that was like a cloud crossing in front of the sun. It got suddenly chilly; she hated it. They could talk with their bodies—communicate allthey wanted while making love—but he didn’t like it when she put her feelings into words. That always spooked him.
“Relax,” she said. “I know you care about me.”
This was Jules. He wouldn’t be making love to her if he didn’t feel what she was feeling, wouldn’t risk ruining their relationship. They were friends first and foremost, which gave them a strong foundation of trust on which to build.
“Charlotte, we agreed we’d wait to talk about anything serious until after Italy. This is an escape, a time to be selfish, remember? I believe those were your words.”
“Because I wanted you to lower your guard.” She got up on her elbows, letting her hair fall onto his chest as she gazed into his handsome face. “So what if I want more?”
“Now’s not the time to make that decision.” Resolute, he slid out from beneath her and got up to go into the bathroom.
She knew she should allow him to withdraw. He did that occasionally, whenever she got too close. Giving him space and time during those periods usually brought him around again.
Besides, she needed to seek her own bed before it grew even later. Morning would come far too soon, and she’d had a particularly emotional day. There hadn’t been anything good in those boxes—no memorabilia attached to her birth father or extended relatives—so she’d been disappointed. And she’d been upset by Sabrina’s communication with Walter.
Other than that, she’d discovered nothing but clothes, knickknacks, jewelry and makeup. Charlotte had packed one small box of the best items she planned to ship back to the States—just in case Lilly wanted any of it when she got older—thrown some of it out and planned to give the rest to a local charity.
“You’re turning into a curmudgeon, you know that?” she called after him.
“I’m not old enough to be a curmudgeon,” he responded, his voice muted so they wouldn’t wake up the others.
“Exactly. So lighten up and enjoy life, okay?”
The toilet flushed, the water came on and he appeared in the doorway of the bathroom. “We have another week. I’m going to enjoy that.”
“It doesn’t have to end in Italy.”
He seemed frustrated that she was so confident. But she knew him, knew what was important to him.Shewas important to him. She could feel it in his touch. It was different than Cliff’s had ever been. She didn’t think Cliff knew what real love was, but Jules did. She was willing to bet her life he felt exactly as she did. “You know you want me.”
He scratched his head, making his hair stand up even more. “Of course I want you! But... God, have I made a mess! You’re never going to speak to me again, and I’m never going to forgive myself.”
She gave him a saucy grin. “I’ll always speak to you, and you won’t be able to avoid speaking to me, since you’re going to marry me.”
He stopped dead in his tracks. “Charlotte, don’t make any decisions yet.”
With a laugh, she fell back on the pillows. “I’m not worried. Whatever you’re going through, we’ll work it out. I’m finally with the right person, and I know it.”
He came over to the bed and glowered at her. “Maybe we need to have a talk now.”
“Nope! I promised you Italy, and you shall have Italy, but I’m also not going to let you make me think this won’t last,” she said.
He didn’t seem to know how to react. She’d never approached him in quite this way. But she was truly happy when she was with him, too happy to imagine being with anyone else. Whatever he was dealing with, it couldn’t be that bad.
At least, that was what she thought until she coaxed himback into bed, and he eventually relaxed enough to fall asleep in her arms. Then his phone went off, and when she reached over to dim the screen so it wouldn’t wake him, she saw the text that had just come in:
Parkinson’s affects everyone differently. Chances are good you can still lead a full life. Please call and schedule an appointment so we can get you started on a treatment plan as soon as you return to the States.
