Sloane sank back onto the closed lid of the toilet. Would he regret making this commitment? Wish for more later? She had no way of knowing, but they loved each other enough to continue to try to make their marriage work. “You’re going to adore her. And she’s going to adore you.”
“Wow,” he said. “It’s hard to wrap my mind around this. I never expected it. Would you just... bring her home with you or what?”
“I think so. Why not?”
“That would be okay with me. Let me know if I need to get the spare room ready.”
Sloane imagined decorating Lilly’s room, getting her back into school and helping her do homework. The responsibility of raising a child—the risk of screwing that up—was a little frightening. It had always frightened her.
But the love she already felt for Ben and for Lilly made her willing to try.
chapter 26
Julian was going to tell Charlotte about his diagnosis. That was why, after his sister went to bed, he’d asked if she wanted to take a walk with him. He’d been psyching himself up all evening, preparing for her reaction and the domino effect it would have as the news rolled out from her to Sloane, Lilly, his friends and, finally, his business associates. Then the metamorphosis in his life would be complete and permanent. He’d be “Julian with Parkinson’s” for the rest of his life.
So much for having a month in Italy to prepare for all that...
But he hadn’t expected what happened last night. That forced his hand.
Once they left the villa, they started navigating the labyrinth of walkways and stairways to the Church of St. Gennaro.
Lanterns glowed in niches along the stone walls, and the timeless scent of the sea drifted on the breeze. He figured they’d stroll through the town square with its timeless mosaic, and there, in the middle of centuries of history and tradition—which was one of the things he loved most about Italy—he would explain why his behavior last night hadn’t been fair to her and apologize for not letting her know the truth before they made love.
“How old do you think this church is?” she asked once they finally reached it.
He’d been careful not to have anything to drink this evening. It was alcohol that’d gotten him into trouble last night. But she’d had a glass of wine with Sloane and seemed to be in a happy yet mellow mood.
“It was owned by a noble family from Amalfi and dates back to the late fifteen hundreds,” he told her. “Not as old as the convent farther up the mountain, but it’s built on top of an older structure from several centuries earlier.”
“How do you know all that?” she asked in surprise.
The air tasted faintly of metal and brine; the surf below boomed against the cliffs like a slow heartbeat. “I spoke to a woman who came out of the church when I was here once before, trying to photograph it.”
She studied the bell tower with its cupola covered in the same kind of majolica tiles that adorned the floor of the square. “It’s beautiful.”
“You should see the sunset from here.” Although other towns on the Amalfi Coast were also built on cliffs overlooking the sea and had somewhat of a similar view, people claimed Praiano’s sunsets were the best, and he agreed.
“I’ll have to make sure I see one before we head home.”
He wanted to show it to her. He wanted to show her other things, too—wished they were in a different situation so he could take her around and share all he’d learned about Italy, both on his previous trips and while she’d been inside writing. But he had no idea how she was going to feel about him once she heard what he had to say. And he couldn’t put off telling her any longer.
They were still standing in front of the church when he took her hand and turned her to face him. “Charlotte, you’ve been wondering what’s wrong.”
She grinned up at him. “You’re finally going to tell me?”
He couldn’t maintain eye contact. Wincing, he glanced to where the mountain fell away and the dark, roiling water stretched out beyond it. “I’mnotready,” he clarified. “But I feel as though I owe it to you to—”
“Stop right there,” she interrupted, a stubborn set to her jaw as she stepped away from him. “You don’t owe me anything. You didn’t make any commitments last night. If you’re dealing with something you don’t want to share, then don’t. You have that right.”
He couldn’t keep from tugging her back into his arms and kissing her, something he’d been wanting to do all evening. The way her naked body felt against his had been on his mind ever since she’d left his bed. “But if I don’t, I’m afraid I won’t be able to stop myself from making love to you again and again and again.”
“Would it be so terrible to just let go and have some fun? We came to Italy for Lilly, but also for a much-needed time-out, a chance to get our heads together and figure out where to go from this point. At least, I know Sloane and I came here to do that, and I think part of the reason you joined us was because you needed the same thing. I say we stick with the original plan and give ourselves what little time we have left here.”
“But last night—”
“Doesn’t change anything. It was my choice, too. Let’s just... let it be whatever it will be.”
“I can’t,” he argued. “I don’t want you to feel as though I’ve misled you.”
