“Fuzznuts, change of plans.” I was unable to look away from the bizarre standoff. “Abort. That duck has murder in his eye.”
Duck. Seri happy. We win,Brum-Brum disagreed.
“I know, buddy, but—”
Too late.
Brumous, patience expired, went full Rambo.
MISSION LOG: ATTACK PHASE
TIME: T-minus zero seconds before everything went to hell
SITUATION: Critical failure of command structure
NOTE TO SELF: Next time, recruit a partner with an attention span longer than three seconds
The stealth phase ofOperation: Duck & Coverofficially gave way to what military strategists have historically termed a complete shit show.
One moment, the dire wolf was crouched beside me, the picture of attentive subordination. The next, he was airborne, a charcoal blur of fur and questionable judgment launching himself toward the unsuspecting ducks with a battle cry that nearly blew out my mental eardrums.
“Abort! Abort!” I hissed, but it was too late. The element of surprise was replaced by the element of “Oh, shit.”
Like the fool I was, I followed him and, in that split second before my body propelled itself into action, I had a moment of clarity.
This must be how Cas feels most of the time. Watching helplessly as his idiot brother hurls himself into disaster.
The ducks exploded into motion, their previously peaceful swimming transformed into a panicked frenzy of wings and alarmedquacking. I lunged forward, arms outstretched toward the closest duck, a plump female with iridescent blue wing tips. My fingers brushed feathers, victory tantalizingly close, then the duck pivoted and wing-smacked me in the face.
“Noctem maledicta!” I spluttered, staggering back as the duck honked and took flight, narrowly missing my head with its webbed feet.
Brumous wasn’t faring any better. His dramatic leap had ended with a spectacular belly-flop, sending water spraying in all directions, before he started to sink into the mud.
“Hang on, buddy! Extraction team inbound!”
I changed course, wading toward him, but slipped, arms windmilling, and landed on my ass in a foot of muddy water. A cloud of displaced silt bloomed around me, turning the crystal-clear lake water into something resembling chocolate milk.
“What are you doing, Zoodle?” Seri’s voice rang out.
Slowly, I turned to face our audience.
She stood at the edge of the dock, her gray eyes wide with both shock and amusement. Behind her, Ko had already succumbed to laughter, doubled over with his book clutched to his chest like a life preserver. Cas had one eyebrow raised to heights previously unknown to mankind.
“Wouldsomeoneplease explain what the hell is happening?”
“I, uh.” I cleared my throat and squared my shoulders even as my ass sank a little deeper in the mud. “Tactical acquisition mission. Minor setback. Situation normal.”
“Bleeding night!” Ko doubled over, heaving helplessly as tears streamed down his face. “You’re a mud monster!”
Seri wasn’t in much better shape. Her cheeks were red and her gray eyes sparkling.
“Are you okay?” Helpless giggles punctuated her question.
“You know, there are days when I wonder why I haven’t moved to a remote island.” Cas pinched the bridge of his nose. “Today is one of those days.”
Brumous chose that moment to flounder free, dripping wet and covered in muck, looking like the world’s most pathetic swamp creature. His telepathic message contained nothing but confused embarrassment and something like,Again?
“Negative, Agent Fuzznuts,” I muttered. “Mission compromised. Retreat.”
