“Freeing her from Charming,” I say, snapping my fingers. “That’s sick,” I tell the genie.
The genie pouts. “It’s part of the job, and now you are stuck with me until a trio of wishes you make.”
Malachi rubs a hand down his face. “How does she get into these messes?”
“I believe the word you are seeking is calamities,” Hart says.
“Nope, this is neither a mess nor a calamity,” Nash says. “It’s a freaking disaster.”
Hamish and Eugene come clucking out of some dark corner.
“What is that?” the genie asks with a grimace.
“These are my friends, Eugene and Hamish.”
“Food on the go?” Hart asks.
“Absolutely not. They will come with me wherever I go. They were here for me in my time of great need and personal terror.”
“Has anyone informed her they are female?” Nash asks.
I blink at the two capons. That makes sense, given their proclivity for dropping an egg when they get anxious.
I shrug. “They are attached to their names now. We can’t change them, that would be confusing.”
The guys exchange withered looks but don't argue. Before I know what's happening, they are ushering me through yet another secret tunnel, which leads to the bottom of the mountain, and that is how I come to carry a dusty lamp around the belt on my waist while riding a horse with Nash. Hamish is strapped to Malachi’s back and Eugene to Theo’s, both clucking away while they live their best life, traveling the realm with a quad of knights and a clumsy maiden. The floating genie at my side mutters about how I need to get on with my wish list because he doesn’t have all the diurnal to follow me around. As far as I can see, that’s all he has to do, so the genie dude is getting no sympathy from me. He twists people’s wishes and makes them regret them. Under no circumstances will I be making a wish, so he has to get on board with my life and ignore my clumsy ass. Perhaps he can start a support group with the man in the mirror? Daphne’s otherworldly magical souls, or DOMs for short. Yes, that’s perfect.
ChapterTwenty-One
Before moving to The Hallows, the farthest I’d traveled was to the neighboring village to trade some rare goat’s cheese for silks that The Duke had decided his Duchess needed. The goat’s cheese didn’t make it past my belly, and therefore, I didn’t return with the silks and was banned from town tasks. The point is, since meeting the Stirlings, I’ve seen more of the realm than ever before, and now I’m traveling through the cursed and forgotten land of So Far Away. The land where mothers feed their babes tales about monsters too terrifying and ugly to live among us. Now I know the truth, that the darkness that haunts the fairy tales is hiding in a land that they teach us is forbidden. It’s clever, scaring generations into believing the warped versions of the legends that we all thought started with Once Upon a Time and ended with Happily Ever After. The reality is they started with Beware of this Tale, and ended with You’ll Regret the Consequences.
“Did that capon just lay an egg?” Theo asks, trying to twist to look over his shoulder.
“She likes you,” I decide. “That’s her offering for being her official transport.”
“You are a most odd female,” the genie decides.
“You have no idea,” Hart mutters as he pulls alongside me and Nash.
I stare at the genie, where his body turns into wisps at the bottom. “Do you eat?”
“What kind of question is that?” Hart asks.
“If he eats, he poops.” I wave my hand at his translucent floating bottom half. “And there’s nowhere for it to go.”
The Stirlings look at the genie. My questions might seem random, but I think it is important to understand these things about the darker part of the realm. Knowing if genies eat and poop is important.
“I do not eat,” the genie says with a sigh. “Once upon a time–”
“Oh, here we go,” Theo mutters.
The genie glares at him. “Once upon a time, I was but a man that walked among you mortals. I ate and drank like the rest of you. The laws of the lamp are complicated, but ultimately, I became a slave to the desires of others.”
“A wish landed you in there?” I check.
He jerks his head. “Magic comes at a price.”
“Which is why you shouldn’t even be talking to him,” Nash grumbles in my ear, pulling me tighter against his chest like he can shield me from the horrors of the realm.
